Would you be annoyed-exes.

[Everanewbie]

I have been with my girlfriend for 3.5 years and I live her very much. About 28 months ago I relocated so she could pursue her dream job and I moved a good 2 hours away from friends and family. Before we met she was in a relationship with a guy within her profession. Now I don't go into detail about it but from what I know the break up wasn't a nice one.

Now I get a bit annoyed with my partner occasionally as she works long hours, but whenever gets home simply won't put her phone down. It's not s major issue but I kind if think that our time should be, well our time.

So that's the background. Now we're at the airport the other day, about to fly home to spend her birthday with her parents. We're having a nice chat and a coffee in the departure lounge when she tails off from our chat for the phone. I peer over her shoulder to see what's going in, only to see a list of messages with her exes name at the top. So i ask, everything ok? She said yeah it's a colleague asking for advice. I then asked whether it was a nice colleague given you've worked all weekend and she admitted it was the ex asking for advice on something to do with her job.

She says its professional, it looks like she's difficult if she didn't help
I'm not happy. First of all she hid it, but if she hates him, why does she think it's ok to help him out? There must be 200 people doing the same job as her, why should this guy use her as an information point? Just to point out also that they're not the same company/clients etc.

Am I unreasonable to be very annoyed? And what action would you suggest? Thanks.

Yep this would really piss me off. The lying especially.

Sorry OP... I would tell her how you feel and then address the phone issue. You have moved away from your family and friends, so she needs to put more time and energy into the relationship

What do you mean, 'if she hates him ...'?

Why would she hate him? People survive breaks ups and can be friends.

On the other hand, if she told you she 'hates' him, she's being disingenuous.

She said she hates him and felt sick when he moved back to the UK apparently

I think you need a very clear and open discussion with her.

She needs to block his number. If she won't, you're in trouble.

It seems as if she still might have feelings for him, sorry to say.

I agree she needs to put more time and energy into the relationship and not on the phone!

And, yes, I'd be very annoyed.

Thanks for the comments folks x. What would you guys do? If I give ultimatums I look like a jealous loon, but it's really affecting me. Not sure I can let it go.

Don't let it go. Explain to her how it makes you feel - the excessive phone time, deceiving you about who she was on the phone with, etc. Then just shut up and see how she reacts. That will tell you a great deal.