For feeling like a shit Mum. DS's first night on melatonin

[ImSoExhausted]

So that's it. Not even four and already being medicated I know the benefits, I know how much better his behaviour will be when he's actually sleeping, but god, I feel SO guilty.
Anyone else with an autistic child on melatonin? We were lucky at how easy it was to get for DS. It's only been a week since we asked his Pedeatrician about it and it got delivered today. He took it with ease and fell asleep within 20 minutes. Now here I am, first time in god knows how long that he's safe and asleep soundly and I'm lying here wide awake!
I'm hoping it's only needed short term, there's something so weirdly wrong about giving it to him. He's non-verbal and doesn't understand language so he has no clue that his milk has a crushed up sleeping tablet

Oh poor you. I don't think you're a bad mum. I think it's human nature to feel you're a bad mum anyway. It sounds really tough. Have you thought of getting in touch with a support group for families with children with his condition? XX

Your poor DS - he's probably knackered and completely unable to understand it nor tell you. You are a brilliant Mum helping him like this. Having proper sleep for the first time is going to be life-changing for him and as a pp pointed out, this isn't a sleeping tablet - it's a synthetic hormone of something that he cannot produce himself. My own DD takes a synthetic hormone to replace vasopressin - helps keep her dry at night - and gives her dignity.

FWIW, best years of my working life were with non verbal autistic adults and children. Absolutely magical.

If your child were diabetic, would you give him insulin? You would be a shit mum if you didn't help him by giving him what he needs. Stop beating yourself up.

I found it worked best when used PRN to reset a sleeping pattern. If I used for more than about two week it stopped working.

Autistic Dd first went through the night at ten, using melatonin. She's 21 now and still uses it now and then. Sleep is a necessity, you're a good parent, you recognise your child's needs, make informed decisions on their behalf and implement those decisions to best enable your child to have a good quality of life. That's bloody brilliant parenting!

you need what you need good luck for the future

What a bizarre, bizarre attitude. Ds2 was medicated from 6 weeks. Daily dose of antibiotics to prevent kidney infections. I'd only have been a bad mum if I'd refused to give it to him. Likewise I've been medicated for asthma most of my life. Thanks to the medication that's quite a long time.

If you want to trust in mother nature you should be aware that she often eats her young.

Well he's just woken up from an 8 hour sleep! I can't believe it! Think all the strangely placed guilt has gone! He looks so refreshed and relaxed  thank you for all your lovely words, I know it was the obvious right thing to do, I just worried unnecessarily because of how young he was. I clearly need to get a grip 

@Battleax the melatonin we have comes in tablet form, it can be crushed and out with any drink. It also comes in capsule form which can be sprinkled onto food, and then in liquid form which can be given like calpol. The tablet form is the slow release version and is supposed to make them sleep longer.

(The orange sweetie is his multivitamin we give him! They look like jelly babies )

At least that makes it easy to get down him.

Ds is 11 and has been taking melatonin since he was 2. He will never have any understanding of medications but if he needs them then he is given them. You have nothing to feel guilty about.

I have to agree that there is no need for you to feel like a "shit mum" - it's not like you're giving the child brandy-laced milk to help him sleep! It's a replacement hormone that his brain would naturally produce, just maybe not in sufficient quantities.

Please stop beating yourself up - you are doing the best thing for your child.

Hahaha it worked! 8 hours sleep is a great result

Don't feel bad, you are doing the best thing for your child. I know of a younger, neurotypical child who had to have melatonin - went to never ever having slept more than an hour to sleeping for 3 hours at a time. Sleeping 8 hours regularly will work wonders for your child and your family. Enjoy!

My son was also prescribed melanin on Tuesday. He's 7. We opted for the liquid as he has issues around food but I'm just glad it will help him get a proper nights rest. You are not a shit mum

Ds has been on melatonin for 8 years, it was a god send at first but unfortunately it doesn't seem to work as good now.
Please dont feel guilty, its good for him to get some sleep and also gives you much needed down time.

Melanin????? Melatonin

My dd has been on melatonin for years. I think when your child can't sleep you worry you are medicating them for your benefit as it's driving you nuts too. But it will be a huge benefit for him. And just rejoice it works on him.

Ds is 5 with autism and learning disabilities (attends special school) and never slept. - well, maybe 2 hours a night split up over a night intercepted with him shouting and screaming and trying to pull curtain rails off the wall etc.

We started melatonin a couple of years ago and it’s been amazing. I will admit he still does wake up sometimes - maybe twice a night- but he is much calmer to go to sleep and we have some quality of life!

He is absolutely fine for it and I will be using it for as long as I can! Don’t feel bad about it, with children like ours you have to do whatever you can to survive and make life as good as you can!

My ds had melatonin for a while. Your not terrible. For a start it's a natural sleep hormone and you're just making sure there's enough in his system to get a good nights sleep.

Proper sleep is necessary for healthy development of bones and body repair etc - so you are actually benefitting him.

I found once we'd got ds into good sleep habits he could manage without it. He still doesn't sleep through very often and can be unsettled getting to sleep (but he's 13 now).
Some of his issues are the muscle spasms and he takes baclofen so we don't use melatonin at all now.

Just an aside though - you aren't meant to crush the slow release ones and the coating on the tablet is what makes it slow release

I did though because it got him to sleep still!

If you can get the tablet in him keep with that one. It's slow release so will help them sleep for longer. The liquid only gets them to sleep so they still may wake in the night.
Melatonin replaces a hormone that is needed to fall asleep when you have difficulty producing it yourself. I bit like being given medicine when your thyroid isn't functioning properly.
I hope it works and helps him sleep. The difference sleep makes is huge to the child and the whole family.

Hey there!!! New melatonin Mum here too!!!

I must admit I felt awful about giving it to my son but the Xmas period is so hard for him, and us. He doesn’t sleep and we are all left feeling exhausted.

You are not a shit Mum. At all.

Try and rest yourself xxx

Just a warning about the tablet form. Both the doctor and paed said it could be crushed.

Got the tablet and it clearly says on the box, DO NOT CRUSH. I asked two pharmacists and they both agreed that it would be as effective if you crushed it. Obviously it depends on the tablet. We were prescribed Circadin.

We switched to liquid which my son can take xxx

Yes we had circadin and was told it would t be as effective if crushed.

We crush the baclofen but that says you can and it remains suspended in water etc.

My 10yo takes melatonin and it has completely transformed her life. She was diagnosed with autism in June and started taking it in September. We were only allowed it because we had tried everything else to help her sleep for years and years - when we went to a workshop about it the specialists were amazed how strict we had to be - far stricter than their rules on things like screen time and caffeine. But no amount of bath book warm milk bed worked because she just wasn’t physically ready to sleep (despite being utterly exhausted) and the anxiety just ramped up. It is actually much easier to do the bedtime routine now, because she is not so terrified of what her brain does to her when she can’t sleep.

I felt so crap too. Not sleeping was destroying her and us. But then she took it and it was a revelation. The fact it worked so quickly showed that it really was what she needed. She is now sleeping better and it’s even helped her anxiety during the day, not just at night. She is catching up academically (possible LDs) and is far happier. Even through the change and inevitable noise of her baby sister born in October she has continued sleeping well.

We had one night without it last week - she forgot about it and when I realised I decided to see what happened because she has to take a break from it soon anyway. I didn’t tell her because I didn’t want her to worry about it and have any sort of placebo effect from knowing she wasn’t medicated - the effect was astounding. The anxiety set in and she was totally unable to settle for hours. Again, it just shows it is the right thing to do and that she needs it. We have to do a 1-2 week break after Christmas and I am dreading it.

I really don’t think it’s any different from a diabetic not producing enough insulin naturally and therefore needing to supplement it. It is just that the effects can’t be measured in the same way like blood tests etc. Also right from birth, a child’s sleeping/bedtime routine is a much more subjective thing and, like all things parenting related, people judge and assume you are doing something wrong and can’t understand that it’s just as much a physical issue as a dodgy pancreas, thyroid gland or whatever. It’s nobody's fault she doesn’t make enough though, it’s just bad luck. My 8yo son and I are both autistic too but we don’t have any sleeping issues.

You are NOT a shit mum for getting your child the medication they NEED.

I have ASD and suffer terribly with insomnia. I bought melatonin last time I was in the US and it helped me fall asleep but it didn't keep me asleep. In fact, I woke up at 4am every single time I took it and was wider awake than without it!