AIBU Not unviting inlaws for Christmas

[Craftylittlething]

Pil spend every year with sil, I’ve invited a couple of times and they have made it clear they would rather go there, spend time “with family” fair enough. Our plans have been made since early October, going to my parents. Sil decided not to invite inlaws this year as she wants a quiet family Christmas. This was decided the first week in December. We always have them for breakfast and will do this year, I feel bad that they will be alone but I would like to spend the day as I had originally planned. DH thinks they’ve made a rod for their own back by declining our invites in the past. AIBU to not cancel plans and invite them here?

Getting "teary" FFS.

Have them for breakfast as planned, be cheery, ignore any digs about them being alone or respond truthfully by saying "yes it's a shame, but you declined our invitation for years and we have other plans".

Same as Trojans
It isn't so much the never having wanted to come before, as the fact that the arrangements have already been made.
It isn't you that has let them down, it is their daughter.

Don't succumb to emotional manipulation! It's not fair of your MIL to make you feel guilty after repeatedly turning down your invites. Hopefully she and FIL will spend the afternoon alone reflecting on how they've treated you and resolve to do better next Xmas.

We have been in the exact same situation. Invitations snubbed by the in laws for years in favour of dh's sibling. Until they started going elsewhere for Xmas and the inlaws weren't invited.
I have invite them to come to us since but only because we always host. I wouldn't have turned down another invitation to accommodate them or invited them to someone else's house!

No, I wouldn't change my arrangements. Many years ago, we invited MIL to spend Christmas Day with us. She said she would 'unless she got a better invite', ie, from one of dh' siblings. Do told her we are not second best and that she'd better hope one of his siblings did invite her as our invitation was rescinded. We've never asked her since.

No it would be a shitty thing to do to your parents, and what have they done to deserve it? Your DH has it right.

I wouldn't worry, OP, just like she didn't worry when she said she wanted to spend Christmas with family. I'm like Trojan and wouldn't be able to resist a not so sly comment. I am shocked at how ghastly some of these parents are to their own children. at BacktoworkonMonday

My parents have chosen to spend Xmas day, Boxing Day And New Year’s Eve with DB and his family for 10 years plus
This year DB has only offered to have them Xmas day - after having been rejected all these years - I genuinely have already made plans n won’t invite them

DM invites my sister and family for Christmas every year

Me and another sister have never had invitations -

This year Sis is going to inlaws and low and behold and invite- we No thanks

Serious I will not be doing this ever

Let them have an xmas alone, bet they will love it

I agree with your DH and every other poster. If you do this they won't appreciate you or love you more, you'll just be the stop-gap before SIL crumbles and invites them again next year.

Hold strong!

And enjoy your christmas.

If you can't be completely honest you can say we would love to invite you next year.