I've been so upset at losing my mum who meant the world to me and was only early 70s and it was such a shock. Didn't have a dad. Noticing now, how fucking awful it is to have no parents. My mum always gave my hubby his own Xmas gift, never forgot, carefully chosen, nicely wrapped. My husband's father does money in envelopes for each of my 3 DCs and for my DH, not me. To be fair, he has always been a bit of a twat like this but I noticed this year, and wondered why he wouldn't be more sensitive since he went on and on and on about losing his own DF and the pain, in his own way of trying to be sympathetic to my grief. So if he knows what it feels like to be so alone without your mum, why not make an effort this year? My DH says the money is intended for both of us. But if that were true, why not write my damn name on the damn envelope? It would have meant so much this year. Or AIBU and just get on with it?