To ask how and when you set bedtime routines for DC?

[NomsQualityStreets]

Sorry posting for traffic.

Currently have a 3 week old baby so I'm not expecting any sleep anytime soon.

But can I ask how early did you start proper bedtime routines with your DCs?
What were they?
And most importantly did they work?

I have a toddler who sleeps through (2.5yo) but we resorted to crying it out when he was about 11mo as it got horrendous at one point (waking every 30mins) but I didn't like it and would really like to avoid it this time.

From the get go with mine. Bath baby after teatime with your toddler. Dress him read to them both amd pop them into bed. Never mind if baby dosnt sleep much yet he will soon get to know the routine

Yes exactly, start the bedtime routine with both DCs now, and put baby to bed first so DC1 feels more grown up (even if you have to listen to the baby crying through DC1's story).

I read somewhere that from about six weeks old babies start to understand and recognise routine. With both of mine we did a bedtime routine from about four weeks and both were sleeping for about 7-8 hour blocks from 9 weeks. No idea if the two are connected but I'm sure it probably helped.

It sort of naturally happened around 6 weeks with my older two and DS2 has just turned 6 weeks and is getting himself into their routine.

you probably wouldn't anyway but don't leave your 3 week old crying to read a story to your other child, totally unacceptable for such a young baby and there's no need to. You can stories with both of them, it's a lovely part of the day.

I started a bedtime routine at about 10 weeks with DD (she’s 5 months now). Bath at 6:15, story book and feed after. Rock gently and place down drowsy but awake... in theory! Usually down by 6:45/7. Dream feed when I come to bed at 10pm. Sleeps through until 6am most nights.

DC2 just ended up following his sibling's bedtime right from the get go, though when he was teeny he'd just be put down in the living room instead of the cot (then for a long time in the pram in the dining room). 14 months later and we still do the same bedtime for both of them. Sooner the better really, just see if they go with it

My 8 month old still doesn't have a proper routine. She still feeds at least every 2 hours anyway so we just follow her lead for bedtime. We organise dinner time depending on what time she has her evening nap, then vitamins, wash, teeth and bedtime story. If she's not sleepy we will just have quiet cuddles until she's ready for bed

Bedtime naturally happened at about 4mo (I noticed he was basically asleep from 7pm until midnight, so started putting him to bed at 7pm instead). Added in brushing teeth at 6mo. Change nappy, put on sleepsuit and feed to sleep.

That’s it for routine so far. We bath him in the morning because it over-excites him too much for bedtime. Had to stop stories temporarily because he goes mad trying to grab and eat the book, hopefully add that back in when he’s a bit older.

3w is way too young, unless it is helpful to you to be in a routine. I wouldn’t expect your son to particularly stick to it though.

So I noticed that ds slept ‘through the night’ (ie 11pm to 6am) at 10 weeks. I then remembered the ‘routine’ from previous day and replicated it for one week. It was a long shot but worked.

He had a bedtime routine but was easy as we co slept for years. No issues getting him into his own room/bed from about 6 years old.

The upshot of this ‘routine’ was that bedtime meant bedtime and even if he didn’t sleep for another two hours, he never got out out of bed.

Each child different though.

Got a 3 month old. Around 6 weeks she just started falling asleep for a good couple of hours (longer than any spell in the day) at around 6.30-7pm. So we took that as a cue for bedtime. Since then we’ve been bathing her and putting her to bed at 7ish every night, same routine (bath, bottle, bed) and she goes down like a dream. Dimly lit room, Ewan the sheep lullaby on while we get her into her jarmies and give her her bottle, she knows the drill and that it’s bed time. Put her in her own room from around then too (obviously not for everyone, I know the official advice, but our house is small and we have a baby monitor so felt fine) and she slept much better without us waking her. Am all for a good routine as soon as humanly possible! Even if your baby doesn’t send herself to sleep at a set time yet, you could dim the lights in the living room or wherever you are, and have a quieter atmosphere so she gets the idea that this time of day is different.

3 weeks for dc1 as they needed it, would just spend all eve crying otherwise.

Thought I could do the same with dc2 but they weren't having any of it. Kept trying periodically and finally worked at 9 weeks.

At about 8 weeks. BF was properly established, my dc had started to settle into some form of feed/sleep cycle that I could predict. We started a regular routine of bath, feed, put to bed upstairs. With my now 6yo I found that it has evolved with each age or developmental milestone. Dd1 now goes to bed at 7pm and reads for 35 minutes before we go up and have a cuddle before lights out. I feel a bit redundant now she no longer wants me to read to her. Although, she will sometimes read to me. Mostly she just wants me to leave her in peace!

Had bedtime routines (same things in the same order at roughly the same time each evening) for both my DS from around 2/3 weeks. It made absolutely no difference to how they slept at night. That didn’t really sort itself out until we stopped feeding and rocking them to sleep. But that’s a different story!!

Now though, when they’re ages 3 and 18 months, I would say it’s invaluable. They know what comes next in the routine and (mostly!!) get into bed and go to sleep on their own with no protest.

Ours was at 7 months as he co slept and we needed him in his own bed for me going back to work. Bath, bed, story time and milk. He's nearly 4 and routine still the same took about 2 weeks for him to settle properly in it but I admit we left it quite late.

Expecting DS2 soon, didn’t do a routine really with my first as didn’t really need to but this time I would like to try and get DS2 into sync with DS1 fairly early if possible. Just curious when people say that they put them to put at 7 do you put them in a separate room? I would like to stick to the SIDS guidelines and keep them with me so just wondering what people’s approaches were to this? Thinking maybe we’ll just end up hanging out in our bedroom where the baby is a lot?

Yes, keep the baby in your room, but establishing a routine. Our 3 are grown ups now so the details are a little hazy but basically it was at several weeks old as others have said. It’s not about forcing a rigid schedule, because many babies will still be feeding regularly and still night waking, it’s more about demarcating day and night and letting them absorb a routine which will help them to self settle, sleep well and be content.

I know with dc1, because I was returning to work at 3 months, we were focused on establishing a system and I have to say she was a brilliant sleeper. Dc2 and 3 less so, and i wonder in part whether this was because I had longer Maternity leave and didn’t establish routines as early.
I think it’s about creating a routine which works for all the family but not being a Slave to it. It’s about striking a balance. I hate the idea of being totally routine driven. On the other hand I remember staying with friends when our first babies were both around 9 months old and realising they had absolutely no routine whatsoever. They looked surprised (and a little envious) when we put dd upstairs in a travel cot, read to her and said night night. They would just leave their dd downstairs with them, playing or dozing on the sofa and eventually at some point she’d fall into a deep enough sleep that they’d put her in her cot.

My DD is 7 weeks and in a bedtime routine, she has either bath bottle bed or change of clothes bottle bed at around 9 and this settles her for the night, never be too early to start😁 just struggling with the day naps at the moment, any advice as she does not sleep during the day? X

Thanks for the replies.

Can I just ask for the posters who put them into a routine quite early on - did you feed to sleep or just put down?
At night ds2 falls asleep only on the boob regardless of whether he fed 15mins ago or not , sometimes in the day I manage to get him napping without it but not at night.

I'm not sure how/when to start trying to get him to self soothe?

I let mine find their own routine as that worked better for us as we don't follow any specific routine.
it was far less hassle than trying to get them into a routine we determined.
Only one of ours napped during the day after being tiny too, if you have one like this the non established routine works a treat.

Mine were around the 3 month mark - when they started to sleep 7-11pm...ish.
It would be bath, massage, story, feed and bed.

With no.2&3 I started the self soothing with the lunchtime nap because I knew they were clean and fed and it would be as stressful as night time. I didn't push for the evenings and they eventually fell into place. That said, all of mine stopped breastfeeding at 1 year or so.

I fed to sleep. Then onto my chest to wind before carefully transferring.

I started a routine around 3 months i think. Bath, change, feed to sleep as usually wanted to straightaway while reading a story. Later on story before feed. Feeding to sleep is seen as the cause of most sleep problems by sleep trainers but it is normal, natural and healthy. Can also be really useful if that's the only way they will sleep. Personally I think self soothing is rubbish and if babies need soothing they need us to do it for them. My daughter naturally started falling asleep off the boob a few times around 10 months and stopped feeding to sleep at night altogether around two. Totally biologically normal. She would still feed but not go to sleep with it. All led by her. All children will go at their own pace and get there without undue distress if we let them. I really rate the gentle sleep book and the no cry sleep solution for realistic and gentle ways to help re sleep.

8 to 12 weeks with both. Fed to sleep or very drowsy - sometimes I'd get a few hours oit of them and sometimes it was 30 mins and I had to rock them back to sleep again. Both slept through (12 hours) from 6/7 months, so it doesn't seem have taught them bad habits. Both still great sleepers at 1yo and 7yo, providing they have their special teddies! When they got a little older I did start to put them down awake but sleepy if possible (not always possible of course) but I followed their cues and they just seemed ready - from memory that was around the 4 to 5 month mark (after the dreaded sleep regression though - at that stage I just did anything I could to get longer than 1 hour stretches, including cosleeping and feeding back to sleep).

Start the routine now like others have suggested.

I didn't take my DD (2 YO then) out of her routine. Instead I stuck with hers and had DS on boob whilst I sang them both to sleep.

Then I'd put him in his cot.

Although he needed a feed every three hours, I persisted with keeping him in line with her routine and it worked out very well for us.

1 year on and they're both still in that routine. He doesn't know any different and I found that it was so much easier to get him into a routine than with DD when she was a baby.

There might be hiccups and they might try and wake up but I was adamant they were going to stay in a routine so eventually they gave in during those trying times.

DS is now 1.5, I'm now raining him to feed from boob in my arms and then I put him in his cot. Prior to that he's been sleeping whilst feeding.

With my first, just like you, I resorted to crying it out with DD and it worked but DS is very different and doesn't get the method. He needs me next to him. I usually feed, put him in cot and then lay on the floor so he knows I'm there. Takes about 10-15 mins to fall asleep.

Feeding a baby to sleep is normal. And works a treat. I did gradual retreat age around 12 months to help self settling. Takes time but works