AIBU, Christmas gift- petty?

[Cheekylittlenumber]

DH and I agreed to spend no more than £20 on each other this Christmas due to me being on maternity leave, an imminent house move and money being generally tight.

We discussed budget including any postage too, and although I've not had a load of time to think of something I thought I'd done a good job of sticking within budget with something thoughtful.

We're going to stay with family tomorrow so decided to open up the presents this evening. He has spent almost double the agreed budget with a 'box' of thoughtful things (something he had made came from the US and had £8 on postage alone) and I feel really shitty now. We've also had a big row now as I said it was unfair to double the budget without talking to me, as it's made me feel bad for just giving him one little gift and also reinforced the fact he's not good with money at all at a time when finances are super tight.

AIBU? I know this is really petty but I'm upset and embarrassed with what I've bought him and am generally stressed about money, the burden and budgeting is generally down to me on that front.

Life is too short. Say thank you. Put it behind you,

Seriously. Say thank you. If this is all you worry about you very lucky.

Dear god, why didn’t you just accept with grateful thanks? Was it really worth having a row about?

Honestly? Just accept the present and move on. You made an agreement, you stuck to it so no need to be embarrassed about spending the agreed amount. I assume he saw some special things he thought you would particularly like and hasn't just done this to "one up" you.

Really?! Just say thank you

Is his the only time he’s done something like this? I get the feeling it isn’t, since you say it’s indicative of how he can’t ever stick to a budget etc.

I feel for you. My stbx always does similar. We agree a budget, I stick to it, he goes over the top on something for me which I can’t object to as he is ‘treating’ me, he ‘thought I’d like it’ etc etc. Any compliant makes me look petty and ungrateful. But quiet acceptance means I am condoning a situation where I have to scrimp and save, stick to budgets x4 (3 dc and him), eke everything out, then he sweeps in with a grand gesture.

This year he objected to something I wanted to buy for dd2 ;usually costs £100, I’d found it for £60, he said too expensive) and then phoned me yesterday and asked if I wanted Apple earbuds as a stocking present! Ffs.

If this is a pattern, then address it. If it’s a one off and you snapped because you are stressed then try to find a way through it.

I agree with you on the money side of things of your budget is really tight and now you're left short for other things.
On the gifting side tough, you say the gifts were thoughtful, so he wasn't trying to show u up, throwing lots of money at gifts just to show off. He tried to make u happy with things ypu might like and appreciate.

Thanks for the comments there's a big part of me that feels really petty but he does do this all the time. He's incredibly thoughtful but very bad with money and it stresses me out. I'm sleep deprived at the moment with a 12 week old so probably more sensitive than usual but I just wish he would think more about our finances as I feel it's always me who's the 'bad guy' iyswim.