My boss

[HarryLucasMummy]

I work as a Palliative Carer and told my boss at least two months ago that I couldn't work Christmas Eve to Boxing Day. That there was no way possible because I have my Sons while their Dad unfortunately has to work himself.

This morning whilst my youngest son was napping I got a call from my Boss. We spoke for a while until she dropped the bomb that I'd be expected to go to a few calls on Christmas Day

Normally I have daycare covered - The boys either go with their Dad or to Nursery School. But since neither are available I've had to tell my boss I can't work. I even told her to check the rota and see for herself that I wasn't on the Christmas rota

My boss then proceeded to tell me I'd be fired after New Years - She won't, she's all talk and no trousers, she also said I was selfish to have two children and let her down.

I'm not looking for advice or anything. I just needed to vent because my boss's temper tantrum is frustrating and baffling me. She's a grown woman and yet she's making a fuss because I unfortunately have to look after my children.

With 2months' notice and not your working days yanbu

I am currently working as a carer after being made redundant and nothing else available. We had a meeting a few weeks back and we have to work 2/4 Bank Holiday days. Most people I work with don't have young kids so we're happy for me to have Xmas and boxing days off as I am more than willing to work new years. The way the op is describing it is how most community care firms work ime.

Your boss is a massive twat. I would be emailing a formal complaint to your hr people. She had no right whatsoever to speak to you in that way especially as they are not even your contract days!

Anymajordude the shifts were assigned 2months ago, which was when the OP decided she wasn't going to do them rather than mske appropriate arrangements for the kids! I work in a 24hr 365 day industry and I've worked many a christmas with kids, its part of the job. Bullshit should colleagues without children do it all as she is suggesting

She's not stuck for someone to work. There are four other girls she can ask who have no children and are lazy little madams

Your boss can ask them but you have absolutely no more of a right over having that time off than someone without children if your working days/contracts are the same as eachother so they can also say no.

Honestly though, your turn of phrase, 'lazy little Madams', gives me all the insight to your attitude I need though.

From what I can tell OP asked for Christmas off, which was approved, two months ago.

However, in healthcare, staff are expected to be flexible at very short notice. However, a good manager would honour what was agreed unless very, very, very desperate.

Agree with others, boss is unreasonable but OP has lost my sympathy for the attitude towards her colleagues.

I can't stand people that think parents have more right to Xmas off than other workers!

Except in this case the OP does as Xmas isn't one of her contracted hours.

the shifts were assigned 2months ago, which was when the OP decided she wasn't going to do them rather than mske appropriate arrangements for the kids

(A) Xmas isn't one of OP's contracted days. (B) the boss accepted that she wouldn't be able to work on one of her off days.

I am 100% of the opinion people with children have no more rights to have Xmas off than people without.

In this situation OP is not being unreasonable.

Boss shouldn't have left it until 3 days before Xmas to try and sort

There's got to be more to the 'lazy little madams' comment, surely?!

People without kids are just as entitled to have Christmas off as anyone else - there is no hierarchy.

'Lazy' colleagues - fair enough to be annoyed. That those colleagues have no children shouldn't come into it. Having no children doesn't make working over Christmas any more congenial.

Well, obviously there is a 'hierarchy', in as much as whoever books it off first and gets it approved.

Sorry, couldn't be bothered after "no children" and "lazy".

are four other girls she can ask who have no children and are lazy little madams

This is where you've lost most people and attracted a flaming OP. Especially the no children bit.

And actually OP states that she works sat and sun, but requested sun (as Christmas eve) two months ago and it was granted. Mon and Tues are not her shifts. The manager is at fault here for going back on the agreement and threatening the sack. She would have had 2 months notice had the request been denied, but as it is she has 2 days notice - that's unreasonable. She isn't demanding Christmas off with the entitled attitude of I have kids, she's pointing out that she has had an agreement of 2 months cancelled at short notice, which leaves her with no childcare.

As an observation, a few weeks ago there was a thread on here about a lady with no children in the same situation of having approved leave cancelled when she'd made arrangements because everyone else dropped out. She was supported (and should have been) to refuse to work. I suspect OP may have got the same if it weren't for the 'lazy madams with no children comment' to have not would be saying she doesn't have the same rights because she has children, which surely isn't right either?

Lazy little madams also deserve a Christmas break. I appreciate your boss has handled this badly but she should have just told you that you couldn’t opt out of working over Christmas and expect other people to cover.

Honeyroar, while I agree with you about people without children being as entitled as people with to holidays at christmas, I think it's a bit unfair to say :

If Xmas with your children is so important to you do a job that doesn't involve working on Xmas day

In this case op has been clear that the children's dad is working. Childcare is unlikely to be an option, so it reads to be more a case that she has nobody to look after the children if she is working.

Although op, surely their dad isn't working all day? Could you maybe do some work before or after he goes to work? Palliative care tends to be needed for a wide range of hours.