To think I don't need to inform MIL that DD has vomited???

[greenapplesplatter]

DD was sick last night before going to bed & a couple of times during the night. She's woke up right as rain this morning.

DH's aunt called this morning with a xmas card & present for DD so obviously DD said she'd been sick.

MIL has just rung DH & said 'we are out of order! She found out DD is sick from her sister' DH just stood pulling the face while she was on the phone & said well yeah she threw up but she's fine.

I'm just not sure what I would of achieved by ringing or texting to inform her, is that the usual protocol??

I should point out we don't have a close relationship with her, no bad feeling but she's not really involved in our day to day lives or anything. She sees DD for roughly an hour every 3 months maybe speak on the phone once a month.

I just find this bizarre

Oh should of said she hung up on as the end of the call

The only reason I would inform somene of mild sickness is if they were planning on coming to visit, or in passing as part of a general conversation. I don't know why it would require a special call either!

She sounds nuts. Ignore!

Bag up the sicky clothes /bedding and shove her nose in it next time she visits.
Sounds like she is miffed aunt got a visit and she didn't!!

How very odd. Unless she coming round and doesn’t want to catch a possible bug, why should she be told. She’s being unreasonable and you know it.

This is not about you, your DH or your DD. The sister and pulled a 'I know something you don't' over on your MIL and now your MIL is taking it out on you. Don't rise to it, or get involved on their rivalry.

Oh I thought you were going to say she was babysitting and you didn't tell her in which case ywbu but no not in this case, she sounds crazy.

Are you sure you haven’t misunderstood. Your MIL might have meant you were out of order allowing visitors with a vomiting child in the house. Your DH’s aunt might have told your MIL because she was annoyed that you didn’t tell her before she turned up.

Sounds like a bit of chinese whispers went on - maybe your daughter made it seem far worse than it was and then her great aunt made it sound even worse to MIL? Also - gonna get mumsnetted for this, but old people generally have nothing better to do than worry about everyone else's problems

Are you meant to be spending time with her in the next 48 hours? If no then nope there’s no reason why you should be informing her.

Are your MIL and her sister particularly competitive? I usually find my in-laws only tend to give a shit if my family/our friends have helped out or told them of a problem we’ve had

@nutnerk she's only 51 😂!!

Well tbh @MrsGWay I could if understood that more, DH's aunt hadn't arranged to visit she just turned up on the off chance that we were in but tbh I don't think it was meant that way. I think MIL was just generally fuming that her sister had told her DD had been sick & she hadn't known but the aunt only knew with calling I wouldn't of felt the urge to contact her & tell her or anyone else. All very strange!

aslong as you told your aunt before she came in the house or before your dd gave her a hug etc, then i dont see what business it is if anyones ill

Actually, OP, the relationship issues with your MIL notwithstanding, if your DH's aunt called in person, then, yes, I would have stopped her from coming in, and in that specific case I could see it would be grounds for your MIL to be upset.

My ex MIL used to get upset if I did not tell her if the kids had been ill. She lived miles away and only saw them every few months. She felt I was cutting her out of their lives if she was not told.

I saw no need to call her every time they were sick, as then she would call every day.

She is probably upset that her sister knew something about her grandkids that she did not. Her problem, not yours.

I thought you were going to say that she was going to be looking after DD!!
No of couse you dont need to tell her

No need to let her know, even if you did speak to her sister on the phone. Perhaps this is a good reminder that extended family can be tricky to manage.

I'd be telling MIL that her reaction is inappropriate. This is the sort of boundary pushing BS that snowballs if not nipped in the bud from the start.

I threw up last night. Tell her quick, OP.

My ds has medical issues and spent most of his early hears throwing upl.ften several.times a day all over me. If I had rung family every time he did it I would never have been off the phone.

How ridiculous of her!

Sounds like my MIL, she recently spoke to one of our neighbours who happened to mention that DS had been a bit poorly. Next thing she's ringing us up sounding really pissed off that she didn't know he'd been ill. I think it's something to do with feeling "out of the loop". The fact that we'd imparted this vital tidbit of information to a neighbour in passing seemed to infuriate MIL but she is generally bonkers.

Why was it ‘out of order’? For not keep her in the loop or for possibly infecting your aunt?

KC225 has it.

My mum used to get offended that I didn't ring to inform her when my kids were ill - she lives in a different country!

She felt I should need to turn to her immediately for advice and reassuring, and was offended I didn't, instead of being happy to have raised a daughter who is perfectly capable of getting on with things without needing to phone her mother! also although she is a retired health professional her child health related advice is generally outdated and unreliable, and she can't admit to not knowing anything so makes things up if she can't remember or its not something she knows about, and is less reliable and more alarmist and dramatic than googling-

Apparently some people think you need to tell them about every fart. YANBU.