WWYD - preventing chaos in the car!!

[TeaAndAMarmiteSandwhich]

So we r in the car on way to holiday. Kids initially excited, then DS age 7 says "I'm bored". Daddy said, ok let's play a game, who can spot the red car first. We have played this before and every time it ends in tears as both DS 6 and DS 3 like to win, but there can only be one person to spot the car first.

Anyway, heart sank. But I didn't know what to do - couldn't suddenly intervene and stop the game as that would b tears. Also didn't want to undermine DH.

Anyway - as predicted lots of angry words and tears and 'no he didn't see it first I did' etc... so I said, 'ok no more game, it always ends like this and we're not playing anymore until the day you kids can play it without crying and causing a fuss'.

I indicated to DH the harmony turned to chaos was his fault for suggesting the game. I know that was wrong of me and I feel bad for blaming him. He meant well. So yes AIBU for that!

Anyway, just wondering, after DH announced the game, knowing how it would end - is there anything that I could have done to prevent the inevitable ending??? And keep DH, and two DS's happy???

(just asking because there WILL b a next time as DH often does this sort of thing - he's a lovely DH by the way, just no memory of how his games tend to end)

(By the way, all happy now with tablets on and headphones in! And we r nearly where we r going!!!)

“Ds1 you look out for red cars, ds2 you look out for blue. Let’s see which there are more of”

Each choose a colour, first one to get to ten of their colour wins

Our son struggles with games like this. We say before we start that it is not a winning game, or give them a team goal to get. They do have to learn eventually of course but if one or both of them aren't emotionally able to cope, just try and take the winning element out of it

One...it's not your job to "keep DH happy"

That's HIS job because he's an adult.

Two....children always argue over games like that. You just distract them...no big deal.

Sing instead.

What about animal blackjack?
1 point for a dog
3 for a field of sheep
5 for cows
10 for a horse

You have to get to 21 or as near as possible and declare and the winner is the one closest to 21.
If you go over then you're busy and out of the game.

My sanity (or what little remained of it) was saved, on long car journeys from Essex to Scotland, by Harry Potter story cds.

I also used to pack them each up a selection of suitable-for-eating-in-the-car sweets and drinks, so they could help themselves.

Oh - but whatever you do, do NOT introduce them to the Mini Car Punch game - where whoever spots a Mini punches the other player and declares 'Mini Car Punch - no returns' - which means they win that point, and the other player can't punch them back - until they spot a Mini first.

If yellow car descends into chaos, this would start WW3.

You need a collaborative game, like shopping list “I went to the shops and I bought (something beginning with A)” etc that you take in turns to do.

Or tell a story a line at a time.

Red car/blue car works better than something where someone is “first” but still can get fighty.

Audiobooks are best!

Suggest different games to mix things up.

I spy with colours or letter sounds

Animal, vegetable, mineral (20 questions)

Alphabet spy is always a winner - look for items beginning with each letter of the alphabet, no turns, anyone can shout out something they see, no winners. Adults can join in or not. For 3yo you can give him the beginning sound.

Pass the parcel story where you each add a little bit to the story and keep it going.

In Grandma's Suitcase where you each add an item and try to remember the whole list.

Also- red car/blue car best if an adult each goes on a team with the DC. So Mum/DC1 on blue cars, Dad/DC2 on red ones.

Your job as parents is to teach them how to play the game without it ending in tears. It’s not out of your control. You are parents.

Oh - top most favourite car game in our family & popular with other kids too: Guess The Animal

Player thinks of an animal. Other players take in turns to ask yes/no questions (Do you have fur? Do you eat meat? Do you live in a hot place?) Fun, and time-consuming which is good for journeys.

We do this but instead of who can spot it first it's just "who can spot a red car?" The older ones tend to count how many they spot and the littlest just shouts when he sees one.
If they fight I ignore it and shout over then "Ok we're looking for tractors now" (or whatever)

The best way to stop DC fighting if they are competitive is to let them team up together to beat you.

So they have to find twenty blue cars and you and DH have to find twenty red cars. Same principle can apply to various games.

Singing! And when that starts to lose their attention, making up silly/'rude' words to the songs. My DGD is endlessly entertained by singing Old MacDonald with the wrong noises for the animals!

I sympathise, as my DH also starts games like this without thinking it through, and is surprised when it all turns into complete chaos.

Try a collaborative game instead. Like "Car Rainbow". So you have to spot a red car, then orange, then yellow etc, until you have all the colours of the rainbow in order. See how many car rainbows you can get on the journey. For a slight competitive element, everyone could predict how many rainbows you'll get.

Pub cricket, if you aren't on a motorway?

If it starts as a competition, put them on a team together against you and DH. Then they can win (if you want them to) and feel good together as a team.

Or go for the game my father loved when we were younger...... "Who can be quiet the longest?"!

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius

You are referring to 'pinch wagon' it should be played with VW Beetles, although I suppose there are not that many about these days.

3 DC - journeys only became bearable when we bought a 7 seater and they had a bit of room

Otherwise it was carnage

My boys played Punch buggy yellow. Drove me mad.
Every time one spotted a yellow car he'd punch the arm of the other one (not too hard mind, no one got bruised) Thing is the game never ended they did it for what seemed like forever. They'd yell Punch Buggy Yellow and wack!
I used to try and persuade them to play he who makes a noise first loses.

We used to play
Mrs brown went to town, basically 1 person starts off by saying Mrs brown went to town and bought (ie) a loaf of bread, 2nd person says Mrs brown went to town and bought a loaf of bread and (ie) a pint of milk, 3rd person says Mrs brown went to town and bought a loaf of bread, a pint of milk and a packet of biscuits, you just keep adding an item and the adults help the kids to remember all the items that Mrs brown buys (a notepad and pen is extremely helpful). Mrs brown always ended up buying the most bizarre things (we still don't know how she managed to buy a T-Rex .

It's a time consuming game and there are no winners or losers and anything that you can think of can be bought. You can adapt the game by starting off with the kids names and their favourite food/toys/books etc.

We also used to play spot the bubble car/E type Jag/TR7 showing my age now again no winners or losers, on each journey we would try and beat the total spotted on the previous journey.

We do a lot of alphabet games

Alphabet animals: first person says an animal beginning with a, second person b, third person c. Just keep going around the family. Can also use different topic such as food, cartoon characters etc.

Another is to start a word with the last letter of the last word. For example, egg, goat, tiger, rabbit, tomato, etc