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AIBU?

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Original poster

"My daddy punched me in the face last night"

33 replies

Originalfoogirl · 22/12/2017 11:46

Dropping our girl off in the morning, one of her friends told me her daddy punched her in the face last night. I asked her if he was playing about. No apparently, he did it on purpose. I asked what her mummy said, and she had said just to stay away from him.

It's not the first I've heard about things like mummy and daddy shouting at each other and at her, but most of it has been heard second hand through our daughter. There was once she was over here playing and she said she was glad to be out of the house as mummy and daddy were shouting.

Thing is, she can be a bit of an attention seeker and has a bit of a mean streak, but that could be symptomatic of what she is going through or she could be making it up. There was no mark on her face at all. Her friend who was with her did say "yeah her daddy is really mean"

What would you do? Call the school, or Social services? The school are really good and would take things like this seriously, and I have a good relationship with the deputy head, but I'm not sure if that is appropriate?

OP posts:
Sirzy · 22/12/2017 11:48

Have a word with the School

FizzyGreenWater · 22/12/2017 11:48

Yes I think I would report to the deputy head.

IrisAtwood · 22/12/2017 11:50

I agree. Report it to the school’s designated child protection officer.

ColonelJackONeil · 22/12/2017 11:50

I think you should tell the school. It would be awful to just leave it if it is true, but in a way it sounds a bit made up. I can help thinking a child who was really being abused would be scared to tell another adult just off the cuff like that.

hackmum · 22/12/2017 11:51

Gosh, yes, tell the school.

AdalindSchade · 22/12/2017 11:51

Tell the school and they will report it. Don't hang about though

lalalalyra · 22/12/2017 11:57

How old is the child? Have a word with the school. Don't say nothing.

It could be innocent (my 3yo told people her daddy hit her in the tummy and left a big bruise omitting the fact she was falling from a slide and he grabbed her to break her fall). But it might not be. When I was little I told at least 3 people my father was violent and they just assumed it was made up or exaggerated.

Please tell someone.

AnnetteCurtains · 22/12/2017 12:07

you need to report this
Its not uncommon for children to tell just before a school holiday when school is their safe place

Librarybooksandacoconut · 22/12/2017 12:07

I'm a school designated safeguarding officer - please report it.

ReanimatedSGB · 22/12/2017 12:11

Report to the school. It may not be true as DC sometimes make this sort of stuff up - but it needs investigating.

happypoobum · 22/12/2017 12:11

Definitely report it. The Safeguarding team will have relevant training and will know how to take it forwards.

This little girl has trusted you enough to tell you in the hope you will help her.

Original poster
Originalfoogirl · 22/12/2017 12:16

lalalyra

She will be 8. I get that things can be said which aren't quite right. I recall everyone being told "mummy kicked me off my chair" which was her version of me stubbing my toe on the chair which knocked it and sent her flying. Or those times where a head goes down and a hand comes up at the same time "oops, just punched you in the face" But I did ask a couple of different questions. If it happened, it was no accident☹️

OP posts:
PineappleScrunchie · 22/12/2017 12:20

You’re reporting that she said it, not that it happened, if that makes it an easier decision.

sizeofalentil · 22/12/2017 12:22

My parents were abusive and I would have (and did often) tell other adults in a similar manner almost to test if I was correct in thinking that it was abuse.

Sadly, no one ever took it further.

DownTheChimney · 22/12/2017 12:24

There would be no harm in reporting it, just in case. But I imagine if he had punched her she would have a mark/bruise.

brizzledrizzle · 22/12/2017 12:28

Please do tell the school, this little girl might be really in need of help and they will know how to deal with appropriately. She could be saying that he hit her because she can't say what really happened and is saying something that she thinks is easier to say.

Fruitcocktail6 · 22/12/2017 12:30

Report it, it's not up to you to decide if this girl always exaggerates or lies. Why do you even need to ask? Seriously.

MsHarry · 22/12/2017 12:31

OP TELL THE POLICE OR SOCIAL SERVICES. SCHOOL IS CLOSED! It's up to them to look into it. Don't leave this on your conscience over the Christmas hols. We all have a duty to report and leave it to the professionals.

NotSuchASmugMarriedNow1 · 22/12/2017 12:32

An adult male punching a small child in the face would leave a mark or a bruise. Tread carefully.

MsHarry · 22/12/2017 12:34

Help for adults concerned about a child
Call us on 0808 800 5000

kaytee87 · 22/12/2017 12:34

Report to child services. Did she have a mark on her face?

NeilPetark · 22/12/2017 12:36

Report it. It’s not up to you to decide if it’s true or not. We all have a responsibility to protect children.

TammySwansonTwo · 22/12/2017 12:37

Please tell them. As a child I was characterised as an "attention seeker" too - I was being abused by my father and acting out. No one noticed or particularly cared. Absolutely tell the school, or call SS given the fact it's the school holidays. The fact that your daughter has seen worrying behaviour makes it even more urgent. If he's like that when others are around, what's he like when they aren't?

A couple I know were reported to social services when their little girl mentioned a completely innocent game they played in a way that sounded concerning to one of her teachers. SS swiftly investigated and closed the case. After what I went through I would much rather SS checked us out if someone had concerns about my kids.

lalalalyra · 22/12/2017 12:38

She will be 8. I get that things can be said which aren't quite right. I recall everyone being told "mummy kicked me off my chair" which was her version of me stubbing my toe on the chair which knocked it and sent her flying. Or those times where a head goes down and a hand comes up at the same time "oops, just punched you in the face" But I did ask a couple of different questions. If it happened, it was no accident☹️

You have to tell... Even your gut is telling you that if it happened then it wasn't an accident.

Please don't leave this. Christmas can be a stressful time and arguments can happen in even the happiest of households. School holidays are a very vulnerable time for children in abusive situations.

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