To leave this party early.

[MrsNacho]

My partners family have a party every year around Christmas time. This year it is on Saturday. I don't really want to go but have agreed to go anyway. I don't want to go as he stands outside smokingwith his sister and her partner all night and I get left inside with all the children as I am the only non smoker.

However also on Saturday my young child is coming back from spending a week at his dad's. He is due back between 9pm and 10pm, it's a very long journey.
My sister will be at mine so I don't HAVE to be there when my son gets back but I want to be. I have missed my little boy. He only goes away for this length of time once or twice a year so it's a big deal to me.

So AIBU to want to leave early? I am not asking my dp to leave early with me, I am happy for him to stay there.

He is having a strop saying fine I will tell my nan we won't go then. I don't see why you have to be here when he gets dropped off, it's not like you won't see him when We get home/the following morning.

Yanbu I would leave early aswell. It's not like you've said you won't go your just saying you'll leave early and he can stay.
If he's going to spend it all outside smoking it's not like he'll be missing out on time with you.
But I will say it's a bit of a red flag that he doesn't understand the importance of seeing your child, is he usually like this with regard to putting your son first?

I would leave early too. In fact, I would be unlikely to go in the first place.

He can be a bit sully over the kids but I just put it down to him not having any children and ignore it. To be honest I think his problem is the fact my ex will be dropping our son off and he would rather I don't see him. Again behaviour I just ignore. Ex and I get on well and will continue to do so.

Yanbu at all, to leave early, or not to go at all, sounds boring.

He sounds painful. I'd not be going personally, regardless of the fact your son is returning. That would seal the deal for me.

I wouldn't go at all - sounds like hell. But if you must, definitely leave early - of course you want to see your boy.
And have a bit of a think about your partner - he may not have his own kids, but is he so completely lacking in imagination that he can't understand why you'd want to see your son? Or is he stropping because you're paying attention to someone other than him?

dwdinitely leave early. I would be leaving a family party with kids at about 8/9 PM anyway with no reason other than I’d want to get them home to bed. Getting Home to see your son who you haven’t seen for a whole week is perfectly reasonable. Your DP may get in an arse about it but how will your son feel if you’re not there? Imagine thinking your mum couldn’t bother to come home from a party to see you after a week away. If you’re partner can’t see that point of view he’s immature and selfish.

*definitely! That first was word should say.

*your partner. And excuse any other typos!

Why do you put up with a man who is sulky about your relationship with your kids and their father?

Don't go! Stay at home and welcome your child. Bin your partner. He sounds dreadful.

I know it’s easier said than done....

.... but a grown man getting sully over your child seems a little red flag to me.

Traits like this song go away over time... they get worse .... just something for you to consider if you stay with this ‘man’.

• don’t go away that should say

Also * sulky not sully.

Sorry for the typos

Are you sure he's not pouting over not having anyone to watch the children so they can all be outside?

How many kids do you have OP? don't forget to include the big one who wants to strop if he can't get his own way.

I have 2 children, one who is away with his dad and one who will be home with My sister.

To be honest I can see this relationship wearing thin but a break up over Christmas would be harsh and he does have some redeeming features too.