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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Parking thread!

18 replies

BigUnicornsDontCry · 21/12/2017 14:35

After 6 long months and loads of pushbacks, we moved into our new house last weekend. I was stressed and have just been diagnosed with severe anxiety and depression so wanted to ask AIBU in the situation.

It is a new build so half the site is still covered in railings and work vans.

I’ve attached a photo as per the rules.

My direct opposite neighbours (House 4) Park their car every day on the small pavement outside their house despite having a garage and a double drive along the side of their house. This made moving in a nightmare as their massive 4x4 made it difficult to get the space to angle onto our own drive. The houses perpendicular to us were also moving in so it was a busy day on the road.

I was with my father and husband and needed to reverse onto the drive to unload the boot of my car. So I drove a little onto the curb of the drive for house no 2 who live opposite us (note I did not go onto his actual drive, just the pavement) to reverse.

Cue loads of angry beeping from the guy with the penis extension car behind me shouting ‘hey love that’s my drive’ as I was reversing onto the path.

I smiled (in my head I was raging, hate being called Love) and explained that it was just this one time to reverse. I’m not planning on making it a regular thing and hopefully will be speaking to House 4 and asking them if they can use their own drive so we can actually access ours.

My dad was with me and unfortunately he is an angry little man too so was shouting at the bloke and me and I was stuck in the middle trying to descalate the situation.

A few mins later I walked over to try and explain the situation as I didn’t want to get off on the wrong foot with our neighbours.

The guy was so rude and aggressive to me but I stood my ground though. I eventually pretty much forced Him to shake hands and move on but as is typical me I burst into tears when I got into the house as I hate confrontation and my dad kicking off is a massive trigger for me. He can get very scary and I’m a nervous wreck at the moment.

My AIBU is was I wrong to use the pavement to reverse? Or is angry neighbour from house 2 right?

OP posts:

ivykaty44 · 21/12/2017 14:39

have a housewarming and enjoy your new home

Let the parking issue go

That’s my advice

honeysucklejasmine · 21/12/2017 14:40

Well it's not ideal, but it's not his property either. He needs to calm down. Well done for talking it through with him.

Sirzy · 21/12/2017 14:40

It was moving day. Everyone was stressed. Let it go.

Original poster

BigUnicornsDontCry · 21/12/2017 14:43

Photo

OP posts:

Original poster

BigUnicornsDontCry · 21/12/2017 14:44

I’m happy to let it go and I have but just wanted to know if I was wrong to mount his pavement is all.

OP posts:

swingofthings · 21/12/2017 14:45

Everyone stressed everyone overreacting. Definitely time to suggest coming over to get to know each other with tea and cake.

By the way, I'd wait before telling house 2 not to park in front. They can do that if they want. If it means you have to do a bit of a maneuver, so be it as long as you can get in and out of your drive. My next door neighbour at time parks in front of their house rather than driveway which means I have to reverse and be careful not to touch their car. Annoying, but they are free to do so and I would never say anything to them about it.

swingofthings · 21/12/2017 14:46

It's not that you were wrong to mount the pavement, it is that he assumed you might want to reverse all the way. Maybe his comments was tongue in cheek and you and your dad missed the irony and it was your dad's aggressive response that got him going. Who knows!

Chowmum · 21/12/2017 14:55

The pavement is not, in fact, his drive.

He's a git. Sounds like the guy at No 4 is a git. I would probably say your Dad's a git too.

Have a drink and try not to let it bother you, safe in the knowledge that you were right.

Original poster

BigUnicornsDontCry · 21/12/2017 14:56

swingofthings no he was angry from the offset. He was beeping aggressively and looked very angry. He wasn’t being ironic unfortunately. My husband was in the car with us and my best friend were stood at the front door and both agreed he was incredibly aggressive from the off.

I will admit I’m incredibly stressed and on edge and feel like everything is just too much right now. I’m not normally like this, I work in a crazy job dealing with aggressive people with ease day in day out. Im just not able to handle things as well as possible and I’m panicking in case we have caused problems with our new neighbours. Normally we keep ourselves to ourselves and haven’t had an issue.

OP posts:

Original poster

BigUnicornsDontCry · 21/12/2017 14:57

chowmum my dad is very much a git. That’s an entire thread in itself. If he hadn’t been so angry himself it wouldn’t have escalated. I felt very much stuck in the middle.

OP posts:

GabriellaMontez · 21/12/2017 15:05

Yanbu.
It's not his pavement. He was out of line.

Sometimes apologising to people like this just encourages them and although I hope you've de escalated the situation I wouldn't do it again.

GabriellaMontez · 21/12/2017 15:06

I mean I wouldn't apologise again. You may need to drive on the pavement again.

Hidingtonothing · 21/12/2017 15:10

He sounds like a twat OP, you did nothing wrong. My advice though is to accept that he's a twat and abandon any expectation of good neighbourly relations, avoid him where you can and don't let him bother you or get into rows with him when you do encounter him. Trying to argue your case is just fuel to the fire for people like him so just refusing to engage is your best strategy.

loobyloo1234 · 21/12/2017 15:12

YANBU - he sounds like a total dick tbh

DivisionBelle · 21/12/2017 15:12

He doesn't own the pavement.

Ideally no-one should drive on the pavement, Number 4 shouldn't be parking on the pavement, it isn't their pavement, and Number two needs to cool his jets.

He was probably having some sort of territorial crisis, seeing new people moving in on every side, and doing a bit of tom-cat spraying.

Good luck.

Tapandgo · 21/12/2017 16:13

Number 2 is an idiot (can’t imagine treating a new neighbour like that). Number 4 are inconsiderate - they must know they are causing a problem. Your dad was idiotic - but as his was in response to No 2’s verbal aggression, less culpable.

I’d let it go for now - enjoy your new home. (I woul ask No 4 if they would mind not parking there as it makes getting out your drive very difficult and exacerbates your bad back).

ivykaty44 · 21/12/2017 20:10

www.highwaycode.info/rule/145 Rule 145 clear gives you an answer to your question

SavoyCabbage · 21/12/2017 20:27

I have much experience of this. Sadly.

Our neighbours always park their car over their drive. Even when the drive is completely empty. On a good day it takes me fire manoeuvres to get off my drive. The record is twelve.

They seem to do it as it’s easier than turning the steering wheel. Anyway, there is nothing I can do about it, so I just crack on.

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