Refusing to take in neighbours parcels

[Enwi]

Hi everyone,
I feel like a real grinch now but I’m just so, so tired of this happening and I’d really like some opinions from someone slightly less sleep deprived and emotional than me right now.
I’m a childminder and almost every day I am at home between 12-2pm as it’s nap time for my mindees. The post almost always comes about 1pm, which is fine. Every single day, the post man knocks on my door and asks me to take in a parcel for a next door neighbour (almost always the same neighbour, but we’ve had a parcel for most houses on the street at some point!). My usual postman is pretty good and knows I have babies sleeping, but still as the nursery is directly above the front door babies get woken. We also have loads of other delivery drivers from DPD/Hermes etc who aren’t as considerate, and knock so ridiculously hard on the door it frightens the life out of me. The parcels from one particular neighbour range in size, but sometimes take up my entire hallway which is already tight with children’s bags, coats, car seats etc. Neighbour then comes to collect the parcel at 5pm, which is the same time most of my mindees are being collected so said hallway then has parents, mindees, bags, coats, car seats, neighbour’s parcels and neighbour who is trying to make conversation and never seems to see that she is in the way.
Today a post lady has knocked on the door. I was on the toilet so didn’t come immediately, so she hammered much harder and woke the baby up who 1) isn’t feeling well at the moment and 2) fell asleep 10 minutes ago. I went downstairs and she said that she had a parcel for a neighbour and could I sign for it. I said ‘I’m sorry I won’t. I take one in every day and my baby has just been woken up. Sorry’. The lady said ‘what?’ And I repeated myself. She then rolled her eyes, said ‘right fine’ and huffily walked back to her car.
I know the neighbourly thing to do is just to take the parcel, and I’m now worried that this could have been a present for someone that they wanted to arrive before Christmas, but I’m really annoyed that said neighbour just assumes I’m fine with receiving her deliveries every single day. DP told me to put up a sign saying ‘no deliveries please’ or something to that effect, but I don’t want to not be able to receive my own parcels if a friend was to deliver something to me/ my family overseas sent presents etc.
Am I a total grinch? Do I need to go and speak to the neighbour and clarify that I won’t be receiving parcels anymore? How do I do that without sounding like an unreasonable cow?

I have had exactly the same issue with next doors parcel deliveries. I took them in a few times, but then the few times became a regular occurrence. I was sick of the delivery drivers hammering on my door, like you said, frightening the life out of me. Finally, I got so annoyed, I asked each and every courier not to hammer on my door unless it was a delivery for me. I also told them, this is not a drop off point where the neighbour can click and collect. Stick a note on your door saying only deliveries for this address.

YANBU at all.

I'm happy to take the odd parcel but I wouldn't if it was every day and you're right about them knocking so hard, they do the same here.

You don't have an obligation to do it and it sounds as though it's a pain for you.

Hopefully I'm not being U though in feeling a bit miffed to come home to find a note saying that one of my neighbours (we all usually take in parcels for each other) has refused to take in a parcel which is now going to be sitting at a depot I can't get to this side of Christmas and for something I think someone has sent me ie I didn't arrange it! [OP: I know you're not my neighbour as there aren't many young children where I am!]

Don’t feel bad about refusing. I do loads of online shopping and there are lots of alternative options without needing to bother your neighbours. Amazon have lockers and lots of others have nominated collection points, normally local shops or newsagents. Just put the sign up as others have suggested and your neighbours will just have to find an alternative delivery point.

there is no excuse for this now. Even if work don't accept parcels, there are parcel lockers round towns. We have them even here and I live on Mars regarding most services.

sign says 'parcels for this address only, otherwise please do not knock. Thank you'.

teach the buggers to go shopping in a real shop, won't it?

Yes, I thought the obvious solution would be to put up a sign saying no parcels other than for this property.

Totally understand your frustration with this. When DD was younger, this also happened a lot, and they all get to know (and expect!) that you're the drop off house. One day I opened the door to a 50 inch TV, for neighbours who only ever collected at weekends, so I scanned my hand around my tiny porch and politely said no way. Enough was enough. Put a sign up for definite, polite but firm.

One house we lived in was in a group of 30-ish on the outskirts of town. I had an evening job and was the UPS delivery drivers go to house when he had deliveries and no one was home. It went well, till one day someone said the item they had bought was broken and it must have been my fault, and demanded I pay for it! They even complained to UPS about me. Next time the driver came to the door I told him I would no longer accept anyone else's parcels.

I took a huge box in for a neighbour once at Christmas. We could hardly get round it to get in and out of house. It took her 10 days for her father to come and get it. I left nites, knocked on door. When the dad turned up, I moaned and he said she had been busy.... I won't do this again

It's neighbourly... But there is a point where people are just using....

I too have been a 'good neighbour' and taken in parcels... But do find it a bit shit where obviously people order things where they know they are unlikely to be home and it happens continuously...

This week: because I thought deliveries for ME...

I've :
Jumped out shower and ran to door, almost nakid!
Interrupted an important business call.. Cos of the continuous knocking.
Interrupted a very upset friend whose mum is dying.. To answer the door...

To others' sodding parcels...

Then I have to ensure they're all delivered /collected and interrupt MY life and long list of tasks... before I GO AWAy for Christmas...

One year, a neighbour who I don't know got really arsey... I'd taken her parcel in... Tried to give it to her that evening, and first thing next morning... I left a message through door... Tried again next evening... Left another message through door...
Please come and collect...
I will be away soon...

She didn't... on the 5 days I had this parcel..

Then went apeshit at me after I returned in NY, as their loved one didn't have their presents...
She got really really angry when I said I wasn't taking responsibility for this... I had already done more than many people would... As in tried to deliver it 3 times and left 2 messages... And still she didn't collect...

She said that she hadn't had timed to collect... As it was 'inconvenient'...

Cheeky fucker

Don't bother explaining to the neighbour, you're not her personal depot.

Just put a sign up and if you're expecting a parcel yourself make sure you can see your window.

I am the only one in my street who is pretty much in all day (sahm) and I'm quite happy to take parcels but a couple of years ago I began to feel like an extension of the post office depot. At one point I had 7 parcels waiting to be collected by various neighbours up and now the street. Well, after so many of them didn't even say thank you I told the delivery people sorry I would only take for my immediate neighbours either side now.

Thanks everyone, I will definitely put a note up. As you say she is obviously choosing to order the parcels knowing that she won’t be in and you’re right about the postman knowing i’m the one who’s in as normally he doesn’t even bother knocking next door (the house constantly ordering).
Funnily enough, in the 2 years I’ve lived here no one has EVER taken a parcel in for me. If I know I’m not going to be in on a particular day I either make arrangements so that someone is in, or get it sent to the nearest store.
You’re also right about it being a health and safety risk with parcels blocking up the hallway so I definitely need to put my foot down.

I take in parcels quite often for neighbours but it's a bit different because I work from home plus I don't think anyone takes it for granted. I think it is a bit different if you are looking after sleeping babies/children though and the knocking wakes them up. Definitely, put a sign up stating that you are only taking deliveries for your house. I would let your neighbour know that they need to make other arrangements if they want something to be delivered as they seem to be taking you for granted.

I don't take in parcels & I make sure I'm in for when I order one for myself.

On the other hand, my neighbours take in our parcels occasionally (which is lovely of them), but we'd rather they didn't. Often we're out 7.45am until after 10pm, so it gets very difficult to claim them. However it's less than 10% probably that end up with them.

If they go to any of the 3 local post offices or sorting offices they are open first thing in the morning (and one is open until 11pm - though it seems random which one they end up in). Usually our post people are lovely and will leave them hidden in the garden instead. Amazon and HelloFresh have a safe place set up (so they rarely bother the neighbours).

I rarely end up taking in parcels (including my own) as I'm hearing impaired and can't hear the door. Of course that means any the post people do catch me to take in, I have to go and drop off, because I can't hear the neighbours either.

Luckily parcels only end up next door about 4 times a year, so hopefully we aren't annoying them too much.

YANBU

I refuse to take other people's parcels - it interrupts me taking them, then again when they bother to come round to pick them up. I'm not the post office, they can sort their own life admin and collect/rearrange/pay for delivery when they are going to be home just like I do.

YANBU. Just put up a note

I'm a childminder and have a pretty little blackboard to hang on my front door knocker
"Please don't knock or ring, babies asleep!"

The neighbour does not assume anything it's the delivery people who do. Don't blame the neighbours they cannot control if delivery companies knock on your door
Your choice if you don't want to take them in but what you should do is leave a note on your door there is a baby sleep and to knock quietly

Not always. Sometimes there is the option for 'leave in a safe place' or 'leave with xx number neighbour'. Odd one off's i would possibly say yep down to the discretion of postman/delivery driver but when it becomes a common everyday occurance because the neighbour helped out once in a while then that to me smacks of the supposed recipient assuming that good old neighbour xx will take it in for them and save them from having to be in, or arrange a pick up from a local pick up point etc.

I've had a similar issue before. I work shifts, most weeks it's night shifts so would be home sleeping during the day. Throughout the year at least twice a week I would be asked to take in parcels for the neighbour. Except they weren't even for him, they were addressed to his partner who didn't even live with him. He also regularly worked away from home, so would have their crap cluttering our home for up to a week, after I was woken to take it in.

I agree with putting a sign up, although in my experience it doesn't always work. We also had a word with the neighbours, but again that wasn't totally effective either. So in the end I started knocking on his door when he was trying to sleep to deliver his partners crap to him. That seemed to work.

Also a cm and I have sign I stick up at nap time that says do not knock door as children sleeping, leave parcels for this address only behind gate. Works a treat.

YANBU - put a sign up for no parcels except your own. I’m happy to take in the odd parcel for neighbours and them for me - but that doesn’t really work if it becomes totally one-sided.
I fail to see the logic of “please knock quietly” - so that no-one can hear?

I would put up a sign saying 'no deliveries between 12 and 2' as a compromise. I think declining all deliveries is a bit mean tbh. I often take in deliveries for neighbours, both the postie and neighbours are usually very grateful!