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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To hate Christmas

36 replies

missiondecision · 21/12/2017 11:44

Several reasons why...
And yet, I still become a sheep following “tradition”.
Anyone less?
I hate it because it’s forced, I know I don’t “have” to strictly speaking but my dc would suffer and feel different. Like they had been too naughty for presents.

OP posts:

araiwa · 21/12/2017 12:12

Tis the season to be jolly

MissionItsPossible · 21/12/2017 12:13

You're not BU if that's how you feel. Christmas is a bit hit and miss with me in general.

DanielCraigsUnderpants · 21/12/2017 12:16

I hate receiving presents and people looking at me all expectantly. And i never know if my face looks grateful enough. I hate the pressure of enforced jollity. And the rubbish tv. And people coming round to visit and not leaving

yeah - I'm not a fan. But I do the same, fake my way through it, pretend to love it because its not about me and how i feel. I try to remember its about showing other people what they mean to me. I usually fail miserably and cry in the loo between courses

Namechangetempissue · 21/12/2017 12:17

Well, its up to you clearly -you can hate it if you like. You can change things though. You don't HAVE to do the turkey dinner stuff. Go on holiday or have a take away or whatever you like. What is it exactly you hate? The presents? Food?

alletik · 21/12/2017 12:21

Yeah YABU...

Unless, there are circumstances like a family member dying on Christmas Day, or being alone etc...

That aside, think about what you don't like about Christmas and make it into something you like. For example, I have friends who hate the cooking - they traditionally have curry now on Christmas Day. They love it and why not?

Don't like all the presents? Do something else instead...

Christmas is yours to make what you want. I get that if people lose someone at Christmas it totally changes things. I know someone who lost her mother Christmas Day.... but she still liked and enjoyed Christmas - they just made it a very different type of Christmas.

Mooncuplanding · 21/12/2017 12:23

It's like a mass psychotic episode. People literally lose sense of reality - spending more money than they can afford, eating more food than is humanly necessary, drinking into oblivion, spending time with people who they hate /are harmful to them, and it culminating in being one of the most stressful times of year when divorce rates shoot up and mental health issues escalate.

I'm just sitting back and observing this year from a distance. It really is a type of madness.

And the weird thing is, I don't really see people having this 'magical time'' they talk about - they seem stressed and overwhelmed by all their christmas responsibilities.

I have a better time most Sundays with a good walk/cycle/run followed by a good laugh round a pint with people I want to be with.

AnnieOH1 · 21/12/2017 12:25

I got to that point until circumstances helped me convince my DH we were having Christmas Dinner on Christmas Eve. We get to enjoy a nice meal, the kids are excited for the next day and we are slowly adding in our own traditions for it. The next day we can then all enjoy the gifts, going out for a walk, and a cold turkey buffet. I'm no longer stuck in the kitchen or getting short with people. It really has transformed the practical side of Christmas for me! :)

Twoweekcruise · 21/12/2017 12:28

I don't hate it but find it so stressful that we are kind of pushed into this idea (created by the retail industry imo) to have a fabulous day when the reality is that life isn't like it is in the fluffy TV commercials. I suffer from anxiety at the best of times and although we always have a nice quite family Christmas and don't have to travel or meet up with too many people (my choice as it helps reduce my Xmas anxiety!) I still feel stressed and to make matters worse dd has been throwing up all night with a bug so that's made me feel even more anxious in case it spoils the 'big day'. Roll on summer.

Chattycat78 · 21/12/2017 12:28

I don’t hate it exactly- but I don’t find it easy and yes the enforced Jolity is tricky. I have specific reasons though- both of my parents are dead and I miss seeing them at xmas.

LagunaBubbles · 21/12/2017 12:30

Well I dont agree with you but yanbu if thats how you feel. Personally I love it, love all the lights and decorations, love all the eating and drinking and love spending CD itself with my DH and children. I dont spend time with people I "hate". Love cooking the works for everyone to and am never stressed doing it as long as I have plenty wine!

laudanum · 21/12/2017 12:30

I hate it too.

Namechangetempissue · 21/12/2017 12:30

But it is only like that if you let it be! I spend Christmas how we like to as a family with who we love. We don't get forced into anything, go mental buying everything under the sun or get into debt. We eat nice food, have a great laugh and enjoy each others company. Yes, we have been asked to do things we wouldn't enjoy, so we just politely decline. No big deal. No need for martyrdom. It is what you make it. If you don't like it, make it into something you DO like. A family a know go abroad every year as a group present to themselves and spend Christmas in the tropical sunshine -no presents, no traditional dinner, no extended family. It suits them and that's great.

LagunaBubbles · 21/12/2017 12:31

chattycat my sympathies are with you, Im the same, my Dad died when I was 18 and my Mum has been dead 14 years now and I still miss them both to.

ofshoes · 21/12/2017 12:34

People literally lose sense of reality

Reality is shit though, give me a week off work and all the mince pies I can eat any day

Smeaton · 21/12/2017 12:35

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MissUnderwood · 21/12/2017 12:37

YANBU.

The part I most dislike is people posting multiple pictures on FB of their DC opening their roomful of Xmas presents. Completely fake, show off and unnecessary.

IMO Xmas draws out all the fake people.

Lolly49 · 21/12/2017 12:43

Loathe it with a passion.Got 12 coming for dinner and really can't be arsed the Indian is open up the road may well get take away.
Both of my parents deceased and db ignoring texts as I will not keep him in the life he became to rely on .
Feeling bloody miserable with the whole palaver.

oldcrownie · 21/12/2017 12:55

I have hated Christmas but coming out the other side now. When the children were tiny it was lovely and easy, we stayed at home and no one minded because they were little. Then it started to suddenly get stressful when eldest was about 7. The pressure to make it special, children must behave, it might be the last year he believes etc was just too much, adding in a family bereavement just meant I associated Christmas with feeling stressed and sad.
As the dc grew up, now 18,15 and 11, it has got better and I have learned to just let everything go and relax. It doesn't matter! I don't get drawn into complicated plans and perfect tables and decorations and presents. Everyone is happier for it and I will happily tell family to get a grip if they start making a fuss about things.

Christmas is okay. I am even starting to enjoy the build up a bit this year.

Lottapianos · 21/12/2017 13:11

'It's like a mass psychotic episode. People literally lose sense of reality '

Totally spot on. It's also the season that taste forgot. All the tinsel and gold in my office is giving me the icks

I hear you OP. I hate this time of year, and I'm really looking forward to next week when the madness is over. All the pressure to be jolly and wacky. Ugh. DP and I don't have children so we get to opt out of almost all the craziness but we will be spending a few days with DP's parents, which has the potential to be so awful that DP is already having trouble sleeping. It's daft really

I adore Easter for all the reasons I hate Christmas. There's no pressure to have a 'magical' anything, no decorating to do, no gifts to organise, no expectations other than eating chocolate and hot cross buns, the days are long and the weather may even be slightly warm and you still get a double Bank Holiday (if you're lucky enough to have BHs off). Can't wait

Chattycat78 · 21/12/2017 13:56

laguna - thank you. to you too.

Original poster

missiondecision · 21/12/2017 15:55

Thanks for replying. Thanks for the different perspectives. Yes I need to do Christmas how it suits us as a family.
to all those who miss loved ones at Christmas.
I’m just miserable at the forced nature of it all.
I like you poem SMEATON I wish it was about something jolly instead.

OP posts:

Selassi · 21/12/2017 16:45

The Grinch is looking for a buddy

TittyGolightly · 21/12/2017 16:47

Have always hated Xmas. Recent events have made this year harder, so I’ve cancelled most of it. No xmas dinner, don’t even know where we’ll be on 25th.

Have had to stop opening Facebook, listening to the radio etc due to the joy expectations. They mean well but I wish people at work would just fuck off with it all.

Insomnibrat · 21/12/2017 16:55

I'm hating it this year. It's been awful.

ifcatscouldtalk · 21/12/2017 17:52

I find Christmas is great if mentally you're in a very good place and life is going well. I always try to make it a relaxed and enjoyable time. Some of my closest are going through tough times and that has taken the shine off somewhat. For me, I think it depends what's happening in my life at the time.

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