To hate smokers

[Elsouth]

Out with the in laws today and both mil and gmil smoke and I hate it. My youngest suffers from viral wheezes and currently has a cold so I'm paranoid about him ending up in hospital again and one thing that can make him worse is smoking. DH smokes at work and when they are in bed (it's a big issue!) but I hate that these two women can't go a day out without smoking. DH would never smoke near them because I'd flip at him. As soon as they get out the car they smoke, I walk ahead to avoid him inhaling it but if they go to hold him I know he will breathe it in and everyone will act like I'm a twat. Both these women have granddaughters with asthma and they stay at theirs too. And neither seem to see it as an issue.

Am I being completely unreasonable to detest this? I know I don't smoke and can't appreciate it being an addiction but how hard is it to go half a day without really

YANBU at all.
I have poor health at present and going into town becomes really stressful having to evade the people smoking outside buildings or as they walk along so that I don't get a lungful of their second hand smoke.

YANBU

The smell is fucking disgusting.

I had severe asthma as a child and my parents were extremely zero tolerance on having anyone smoke anywhere near me. I will be the same with my children regardless of whether they have asthma or not.

Smokers, as a group of people, are largely inconsiderate in my experience. The fact that you are outdoors does not mean people stood/sat next to you can't smell it and it's not unpleasant for them. Never fails to amaze me how if a group of you go out and are sat outdoors and only one of the group smokes, they will often light up without asking the others if it's okay first....

I'm surprised by the measured responses so far - most anti-smoking posters get flamed from what I've seen on here!!

Probably because the OP was sensible and didn't contain things like

"It was like walking through a thick cloud of fog"

"It was so smoky I couldn't see a single thing in front of me"

"The smoke was that bad that I was coughing and spluttering on my hands and knees trying to crawl away"

etc etc.

If smokers knew how horrible stale smoke hanging on their clothes and in their hair was, I can't believe they'd continue smoking. My BIL borrowed our car (we don't use it very often). When DD got in the car two weeks later, the first thing she asked was who'd been smoking in the car.

Thank you for the responses. To address some of the points my DH only smokes at the bottom of the garden when they are in bed and he knows he cannot go near them until he's showered. I wouldn't let him in bed either! He didn't smoke when we got together, just when he was out drinking, last few months he started again mainly due to stress and he is trying to quit so far he's cut down a lot. But it is an issue and he knows I'm unhappy about it, in fact it really pees me off

In laws are aware of how I feel and in fairness mil is the better of the two. She knows it upsets me so won't go near him if she's just had one but as someone else said smokers don't smell it as much. It doesn't just fade after ten min and when they are walking near you it's still passive. I did actually speak to her about it later on and said I wasn't trying to be funny when I walked ahead and she understood. She also did try and quit a few months ago and did really well but then I find it really inconsiderate that gmil would come and sit in her outhouse and smoke. If someone quits they'd need to avoid it. It's little things like gmil bought a toy around last week and the box reeked of stale smoke, when my eldest visited his other gmil who chain smokes I had to wash his coat after. And she is a lot more oblivious to it and her granddaughter who stays on weekends has awful asthma too.

I obviously don't hate smokers I was just irked when I wrote that and I do feel for them as it must be hard to quit, after 35 years my mom said she still misses it. I just wished more places were smoke free so I didn't have to worry. It's like when I go to a local supermarket the smokers all stand by the entrance! And I didn't intend to cause any arguments either I just needed to rant

You had a child with a smoker tho.

Ask your MIL & her mum not to smoke anywhere near your child. That's it.

*I wouldn't date a female who smoked.
Women. We're called women.
You sound like a charmer. *

My choice surely just as it is my choice not to date a heroin addict, a drunk, or any number of attributes which do not appeal.

charmer Well i've had no complaints so far. Dont chase women,not really bothered. I suspect many would consider me a reasonable catch :)

You had a child with a smoker tho.

In fairness he was an ex smoker when our children were born. I didn't expect him to start smoking again. I hate it because I never wanted my kids to grow up with smoking around them.

YANBU. Smoking is a disgusting habit-if one is going to do it it should only be done in one's own house where it won't impact anyone else.

YANBU to hate smoking and the tobacco industry.

YABU to hate smokers, they're people, provided they are considerate about it. Although I often think if they knew how badly they smell to a non smoker they might think twice. You can tell instantly at work which lift or toilet cubicle the smokers have been in!

I’m with you OP. My mum used to smoke and I refused to take DS into her house when he was a baby. He was born with severe breathing difficulties.

I don't hate smokers but detest the habit. I have clients who smoke come in to my clinics and the smell lingers for ever. If they leave forms/ paperwork behind for me that stinks then makes my work bag stink , it's just horrible. Not to mention that the majority of these poor people are suffering terribly from smoking related illnesses. I understand it's very hard to give up but it is a truly disgusting habit. I feel sorry for smokers the same I do for anyone with a serious addiction.

Rebeccslicker I did say in my follow up I don't actually hate smokers in that sense. I feel sorry for them as I imagine it's hard to quit, I was just having a rant. It annoys me that they can't see how their smoking habit could directly impact their grandchild's asthma. But my mil was very good about it once I spoke to her . It's not an attack on her or anyone else as a person. I just wish more places were smoke free