About DH not wanting to do Christmas?

[moutonfou]

DH and I still do Christmas separately (we don't have kids) i.e. spend the day with our respective families. We see each others' families on other days.

This year all DH's family have colds and he doesn't want to go because last year our Christmas break (one of the few times we get off together) was wiped out by mutual horrendous colds.

But nor does he want to come to my family's day. He's said he'll be perfectly happy staying home while I go, and not to feel guilty.

The traditionalist in me is unsettled, I feel like his family will feel hurt and I will feel guilty, even if told not to, knowing he's at home alone on Christmas doing nothing special. But he assures me he feels differently about Christmas and it's just not that special a day to him.

Do I encourage him to come to my family's day (or even to go to his family's day) or just let him do his thing?

Let him do his own thing.

Ask him to your family. If he is insistent that he doesn’t want to go, don’t try to press him. Don’t feel guilty, why should you?

Christmas isn’t compulsory. Leave him to it (sounds like bliss).

He's an adult - he can choose for himself.

Ok I can see why you're feeling off about it, I wouldn't like to think of DH spending Christmas by himself but he's said he doesn't mind spending the day alone. If you spend it with him or go to his family will you feel you're missing out and feel a bit resentful? Because it wouldn't be fair to change your plans under sufferance and hold it against him if he truly doesn't mind. Do you think he means it or would he bring it up in the future as a criticism?

I don't have kids and and am not in a relationship and I finally plucked up the courage to not 'do' Christmas three years ago.

A few friends were horrified, but last year I got a few texts of the 'Arrgh, stressed, wish I didn't have to do this' variety.

On the 25th I will be spending the day in my pyjamas eating crisps, chocolate and a Chinese party platter, watching festive telly with the cat and loafing about.

My parents live a good distance away and we agreed it's lunacy to be driving a long way in winter. Last year they had beans on toast followed by Christmas cake and custard for dinner.

I do send cards and presents, but my days of trying to keep everyone else happy while inwardly resenting it are over.