or just over sensitive?

[badgerread]

It was my birthday a month ago and my DB said I would have ro wait until nearer Christmas for my present, 'all will be revealed then'. I have just exchanged on a new property which needs a fair bit of work doing to it so when asked me what I'd like and I asked for some John Lewis vouchers to get something for the house. I've gone up to my absolute limit on this place, I work full time and am single parent to DS8 and DS13.

So this morning (day of DSIL birthday) I woke to find an email entitled Birthday present from him. It is a link to £40 worth of vouchers (wayhayyyyy).

From a sports clothing and events brand.

In the email DB states I am only allowed to use the vouchers to enter a cycling event of my choice with DSIL in 2018 (apparently she got her vouchers this morning as it's her birthday).

I used to do these sorts of events years ago but haven't for about 2 years now.

I just burst into tears. As if I haven't got enough coming up in the next year without having to train for a 50/75 mile cycling event. All my spare time is going to be spent on the house. I can't get out in the evenings as I have the children. I just feel as if this is for DSIL's benefit as she wants to train for something next year.

AIBU?

So really what he did is buy his wife a cycling partner as a present? I’d be annoyed too. Has she recently taken up the hobby?

YANBU. I would have cried too. Poor you, I'm sorry.

Give it him back for Xmas explains you haven’t got time so they can do it together!

Just email back saying thank you but I don't have time-obviously. You go ahead and use the voucher yourself x

What a rubbish present.

I'd send them back with a strongly worded note! Very selfish.
Or ask when brother is babysitting and doing up your house...

Perhaps he thought he was doing you a favour getting you out of the house and into your hobby again.

Send him them back and tell him it's a waste as you have no time or intention of cycling again and if his wife wants someone to train with he can go himself.

I honestly think it sounds like your brothers thought of a gift for you that's out the box. He's not gone for the usual stuff a brother might think of he's gone for something which he knows you've liked in the past. I bet he thought he was doing something amazing for you both. I'd say thankyou and just explain with everything going on you're going to really struggle so if DSIL or him know of anyone that would find it easier you'd happily give up your spot to them.

I dont think he was being insensitive on purpose. I think he thought you would be genuinely excited to be prompted back into a hobby. Bless you.

But see this is why i never buy people experiences or tickets for stuff etc as gifts.

Often it puts unsuspected pressure on people, or it ends up being a hassle for them, etc.

Happy belated birthday and have a good christmas!

He's hugely into triathlon and these events. DSIL got into them about 3 years ago but probably only does 2 a year. I used to do a few but wasn't that into them as I was pretty rubbish 😀😀

Maybe he did do it to try and get me out again but I'm really not interested and have far too many other things going on. He doesn't understand I can't just drop everything and go out on a bloody bike ride like he can....

Send it back with a thank you but all your time and money needs to be spent on the DCs and your new home. Say you really won't have the time to participate and that you hope that he and SIL will enjoy training together.

Wow, I wouldn't dream of replying as harshly as some other posters have suggested. It's both thoughtless of him and thoughtful. Thoughtless because she hasn't thought of your kids and babysitting etc but thoughtful because he think you might enjoy doing something you clearly enjoyed before.

I'd call him and tell him it's a really lovely thoughtful present but that you don't think you can use it and would he like to see if your sister in law can use it or give it to someone else who can race with her.

I think yanbu to be disappointed but I think you would be unreasonable to be cross with him about it.