My Neighbour feeds her child out on the street

[KittyM13]

My next door neighbours are from Vietnam. They are very pleasant if not a little loud. We live on the top floor of an apartment building. 4 times a day the mother takes their toddler out on the street to feed him. I live in central Birmingham on a main road. She sits him at the bus stop, or generally chases him about the road dodging cars as she tries to feed him. When it rains they have their feeds on the communal stair well. It's pretty filthy outside and he picks up rubbish whilst dining al fresco. Has anyone else experiences this. She basically will only feed him out of their home. I have caught her in the car park before having feeding time when it's been colder ... in fact I nearly ran him over when he darted out in front of me. They were out in the snow last Monday as well on the street having a a very cold brunch .... is it me or is this odd?

Very odd! No idea if it is cultural or not.

I can't speak for the whole of Vietnam but I'm pretty sure this is not usual! My old next door neighbours were Vietnamese and didn't do this anyway. Seems an extreme way of not getting weetabix on the carpet!

Somewhat odd - please call her HV if you know who it is.

Is she alone with him when he's eating? Because my mum used to get really bad anxiety about us choking on solid food - her pfb was on jars of purée until he was 3. Maybe she's nervous of that and wants to be near people in case he chokes? Or he could be fussy and refuse to eat unless it's outside so she's doing it for a quiet life?

I wonder what's going on at home that she feels she can't feed him there. I spent a long time in Asia. That doesn't seem particularly normal to me.

Maybe she doesn't want him to make a mess...

Sounds very strange and unsafe.

There is a full family so she not on her own. She is really nice and keeps bringing over food to us. She cant speak english at all but gives it a go. I think she is at home all the time. I never see her go out so I am assuming it's more so she gets a break from her home.

I'm not Asian (I'm Latin) but in my country parents are obsessed with making sure their children "eat enough" and it's not unusual to see them feeding children on the street.

I think the idea is to distract them so they'll eat. The level of commitment you describe does sound odd though

She is totally commited to it i do admire that to be honest. He is very healthy looking child and seems very happy tbh

I think that if there are no signs of neglect, and the child is healthy and happy, then I'd just put it down to her individual quirk and leave it alone.

I know we eat outside most nights (although at an outdoor table and chairs) because for one thing, the weather and the view is nicer outside, and secondly, because if there is any mess, I can just hose it down (assuming the dogs don't do hoover duty for me first).

Do you mean breastfeeding him or that she's chasing him around giving him solids as he dodges cars?

I have lived in SE Asia where I have often observed small children being chased around by mother with a bowl & spoon trying to get them to finish what they are eating - what you have written reminds me of that. Also, my DH is Chinese and my sister-in-law would sometime follow my children round like this and I had to ask her to stop because I wanted to encourage sitting at the table, sociable mealtimes, etc. I think it could be as LaLaLolly says a concern that all the food should be eaten and not wasted.

I wouldn't notice what anyone was doing really. Are you watching this woman and child all the time or what.

Each to their own.

That sounds a bit erm odd

Awh. I would hazard a guess at it maybe being a combination of not wanting to make a mess (my rented house has a tiny kitchen and all other rooms are carpeted so I sympathise there!) and wanting to get her toddler out. Until the recent birth of my second baby I was also obsessed with the idea that toddlers need to go out every. single. day - no matter what. Maybe that's it?

It's different but she's not neglecting him.
The only red flag for me is the dodging traffic. What's up with that?

Yes. Sure she does.

I would imagine she's probably lonely, going stir crazy and trying to get out more so she has a sense of local community around her. Perhaps befriend her and see what happens.

The woman’s a genius. I must start doing this. Along with painting and glitter useage.

My friends ds had the attention span of a newt as a toddler. She had to plonk him at the table in front of the tv and spoon feed him well into school age as he wouldn’t bother to eat otherwise. Let alone feed himself. Perhaps this child is the same.

Dodging traffic and darting out infront of your car seems genuinely dangerous, tbh...

The other stuff is a bit ‘odd’ but I wouldn’t be too concerned about it.

I have seen similar in South Asia where in some families children are more or less followed around constantly with food rather than having regular mealtimes as I’d do. I’d bet the same thing is happening at home as well.

My MIL lived in Singapore for years and said all the nannies would follow the kids around with bowls of food feeding them...