To not understand how to be happy.

[Purplesky2]

I have a nice life. Good friends. 3 DC. A rewarding career with flexibility. My marriage is in a down phase at the moment but we are working on it. We have some lovely holidays booked for next year.
I think I am preempting feeling bad about having an empty nest way before it is happening. Oldest DC turned 10 this month and it has made me feel panicked about them growing up and leaving home and me feeling unfulfilled even though I could focus on my career and my friends and my marriage may survive. I’m on antidepressants but still have such a flat anxious feeling and am not enjoying the he here and now. Anyone have any tips or experience of being more positive?

Tell us more about your marriage/relationship.

Hugs. Sounds like you could benefit from some counselling, could you get a referral from your GP? Depression is horrible and debilitating, you may even need a higher dosage or different medication. This time of year can be stressful anyway without the added pressure, I would ring and try to get an appointment ASAP. Good luck xx

I think perhaps some talking therapy to supplement your antidepressants may be worthwhile OP. And perhaps a sit down with your DP to explain how you're feeling.

You might find this interesting / feel it resonates somewhat- I know I did:
theoatmeal.com/comics/unhappy

Def try some counselling, but also, check out the book The Happiness Trap. It was really useful for me with this very thing.
I had a good life, but was desperately unhappy. This book put a lot into perspective for me.

Hmmm....it seems as though perhaps you are lacking a sense of meaning in your life. You need to create meaning; discover what matters to you. I appreciate that this is hard when you’re feeling flat and depressed which is why talking therapy may help you to explore this more. You seem to be projecting forward negatively in your life toward an imagined empty future (empty nest), which hasn’t happened and isn’t real apart from in your mind. Perhaps the emptiness you feel reflects your experience of your inner world right now.
Relationships and connections are very important; real relationships with people you trust. Do you have meaningful friendships in your life? It can feel scary but taking some risks to discover what it is that you like, want to do, who you want in your life are steps toward discovering fulfilment and meaning.
But as a general day to day way of tackling spiralling negative thoughts and anxiety, may I recommend a book called ‘the 5 second rule’ by Mel Robbins. You can also check her out on YouTube. It’s a very simply written book, easy to read and digest that explains how to stop that kind of negative projection and anxiety.

I'd also say that a therapy would help.