Overnights

[Kyliesized]

Ok- so my LO has just started staying over at her dads. Dad pays cms- but has had it adjusted to take into consideration she stays with him 4 nights a month. However he is demanding I provide everything for these and any holiday stays- clothes, PJs, hairbrush, toothpaste etc.
I’m inclined to tell him to do one as that’s what his reduction in CMS is for, but I don’t want my LO to be unhappy. Any advice?

I didn't think the CSA (old one) reduced payments for only 1 night a week?
I understand why you're annoyed, I would be too, but in the interests of your child I would be tempted to send a new toothbrush/toothpaste & hairbrush. Along with a set of PJ's & 1 change of clothes.
Tell him he can replace the items when they are finished, and you expect ALL clothes returned at the end of each visit?

Don't enable him to be a lazy twat please please.
A judge would be telling him he needs to provide everything to give the correct care for his dc.
Or you will be forever keeping him right - and in his time it just isn't your responsibility.
It really is in your dc best interests to make him step up from the beginning.

He’s stated he will return them ‘ for washing’!!!!!
He also wants 2 weeks worth for his holiday with her in the summer. I just don’t understand why he needs to be so vile!

So keep telling him he needs to provide the essentials.
Don't pander to him, it's not about your dd really is it? He is still trying to control you!

He IBU but my BIL had his kids every weekend and they were wearing their school uniform on Saturday and Sunday. I always thought they looked a bit neglected. I would buy multipack leggings and long sleeved t-shirts and knickers and socks and just be glad your DD has something to wear.

Sorry LO, I don't know where dd came from!

For 1 night a week and the odd longer stay I am afraid I think yabu regarding clothes. Your lo will out grow anything he buys too quickly for it to be worthwhile.

As for toothbrush and toothpaste tell him to fuck off and buy them himself.

Yep, maintenance is reduced because you aren’t providing for them for those days. Tell him to use that money to buy what she needs

I feel like you know me! He is a massive control freak and I’ve had a hell of a year in and out of courts with him. This ain’t about the clothes but about control I know that- I just want the best for me my LO. I don’t understand why her dad doesn’t want his house to feel like her home too. Surely sending her with a suitcase isn’t going to achieve that! I’m happy to provide extras for longer stays because I see that him keeping 2 weeks worth of clothes isn’t ideal- she will grow out of them before she gets the wear but- It just doesn’t sit well that I should have to provide overnight stuff to include toiletries and activity clothes ie swimming kit. Surely he can do that!

He does sound a total pain and very difficult. If he wants you to provide the clothes then he has to wash and iron them and return them to you clean If not then he provides them himself. Don't have loads of washing returned for you to do. That would be too cheeky. I don't think he's U to want the two weeks holiday. I agree it's not about the clothes but about being a total pain.

I can see why he’s an ex!

What a useless idiot.