Christmas in the office

[myusernameisnotmyusername]

My office is very petty and childish. Things have been going on all year which are quite close to bullying against myself and other colleagues at times. Now cards are being exchanged and myself and another colleague have not received cards from 3 of these people when they have sent everyone else one. I got a tin of chocs for everyone but was going to send cards to everyone except these 3. DP said I'm being as bad as them but I don't think I want to send cards to spiteful people. WWYD? I appreciate this is a 'first world problem' and very childish but this is what it's like in this office.

Your colleagues sound like 12 year old girls.

You see these people every day, they do not need to be given cards - our office have a "no cards" general policy which suits everybody well.

Would just say to people "no cards this year, doing our bit for the environment - so ... Merry Christmas..." but only to those you care about.

I totally understand where you're coming from, but in this situation I would write a card for the nasty people. I'd probably buy cheaper/less nice cards to do it, would write more than their name and your own, but I think you take the moral high ground if you do.

They really are! And the FD has assured me this will be resolved in the New Year. But I am where I am with them. At this point I don't even want to speak to them because they are horrible but I'm not sure if it will be less petty to just give them a card or ignore them entirely. I have brought the chocs in and my other (nice) colleague brought biscuits.

I did stand up in the office and say I'll bring chocs instead of cards but I think now some people have given me some I should give back. I would like to see their faces if I gave them a card but I don't know if it will make me look a bit two faced.

Either cards for everyone, and not cheaper ones for the 3 horrible ones, or chocolates and no cards for anyone. Don't play their game.

Seeing as I've said chocolates instead of cards and I've bought chocolates shall I just leave it at that then? It is getting even more ridiculous now with one person sending cards to everyone then buying small boxes of chocs for select people. Then one of the three sent a Christmas present to the other two! My four year old is more grown up!

Rise above it and be the bigger person. Give all cards or none. If you exclude them you're all as bad as each other but if you don't then everyone else will see that and notice as well.

Your office sounds like my old office, minus the drugs and constant sexual harassment.

After about 6 months of trying to smile through the shite I adopted the mindset that if the building caught on fire I would be more interested in getting out first so I could lock the doors behind me. Fuck them. Keep the chocolates.

I put up a notice at work inviting people to donate to breast cancer research ( am a sufferer) instead of sending cards and give money to me which I then donated, very successful!

I’d reciprocate to those who’ve given them to me.

I wouldn’t give it too much head space.

Actually Lyne’s ides is brilliant!

That is a good idea Lyes but they wouldn't do that either. We had Christmas jumper day last week and they refused to donate on the grounds we can 'dress down' every Friday. I have a feeling there's going to be some changes they won't like coming up after xmas.

Sorry Lyn I mean!

I should add as well that I do have anxiety and everything like this gets to me. I massively overthink it.

I've not done anything at work - some people have chosen to do cards/ food and I haven't (can't afford it and have only done cards for parents) and it really doesn't matter.
I have got a Christmas hat on & am joining in anything going on in the office though including a bring and share lunch tomorrow.

That's ok. At least you are getting in the spirit of it. This just feels like they are using it as a deliberate excuse to be nasty. I can usually be professional and rise above it but last week they went out for breakfast for someone leaving and they are just acting very childish. I don't want to stoop to their level but I don't want to invite them to think I care either.

I'd just leave it, you've got a present for the office, you don't need to do anything specific to include/ exclude them.

You have already said you are bringing chocs instead of cards, so stick to your plan. It is also a great idea as you dont have to give someone you hate a card, but no-one can bitch about being left out.

That was why I did it in the first place really! But like I said- overthinking!

One of the women who hasn't sent me a card- the first one (I think the others just followed) looked really surprised this morning when I brought them in as well.

Oh badfeminist that made me laugh out loud today in the office!

Thanks everyone. This morning was the first morning I didn't think about the office dickheads!