To ask how involved your other half is at school?

[Happyhappyveggie]

I have 2 kids at primary school aged 5 & 9. School is small for an inner city school & has a strong community as a result. In the 6 years my 9 year old has been there, I think my partner has been to the school 10 times. He does work away but when he is here - I kind of expect that he will take the kids in because he wants to as is never there- but no, he makes a massive fuss. I do EVERYTHING school related- he’s never been to a parents evening, never arranged a play date, doesn’t want to speak to other parents etc etc.
Aibu to be really fed up of it? I feel like every single parent or school related thing falls to me and it’s putting me under so much pressure. I work full time aswell and could do with some support but he makes me feel like I am asking for the world when I even ask him to occasionally walk the kids to school.

That sounds tough, my DH was very involved, always went to parents' evenings, enjoyed activities at the school and ended up a School Governor.

Does your DH give a reason for not walking the DC to school or is just that he 'can't be bothered'.

My husband does the school run when he is at home at school time. Ans he'll go to nativity plays and school fairs etc. But he has never been to parent teacher interviews, or volunteered to help with PTA. I've never really given it a second thought.

But what I'm happy with isn't the point. If you are feeling that all the burden falls on you, then I think you have every right to feel aggrieved.

OH goes to all parents evening and the xmas play,so about 3 times a year. If for whatever reason he's off, he'll do drop off and pick up as well,but that rarely happens.

I think it’s a mix of things- I have made lots of friends at the school aswell and he doesn’t speak to anyone! He’s not very sociable but to be honest, just taking the kids to school would help but he won’t even do that unless under duress. I can’t understand why he wouldn’t want to be a part of his kids life as they are there a lot of the time!

On the vary rare day DH has a holiday day, he will do the drop off (while i go and buy coffee and bacon sandwiches 😁😁) and come with me to pick up because he doesn't go that often and dd has a few different teachers they probably have no clue who he is so maybe wouldn't let her go with him.
He doesn't do school assemblys (Although neither do I because I'm always at work for them)
I do parents evening
I do nativity plays
I do most things
But that's how it is. I dont care that he isn't there for these things and neither does dd.
He's coming to watch her sing at Manchester arena with young voices in January so thats the big one.

DH does drop off and pick up once per week same as me from school. Does most of drop off and pick ups from wrap around (just better logistically) unless he’s working away. Attends all school concerts/parents evenings/sports days. Volunteers for stalls st fayres. Used to be on PTA but was apparent it was run solely for SAHM. We both work. His work is generally more flexible with shorter hours than me. He’s definitely a 50:50 parent. From talking with other mums perhaps he is not the norm. Parents who both work seem to have much more dad involvement ime.

When the DC were at primary school, he dropped off and I picked up from after school club. I did 3 years on the PTA and then he did 6. He came to most parents' evenings. I went to all of them. He did any events in the school day, we both did any after school.

My dh went to all parent/teacher meetings (bar a couple when he was away). Would have gone to all concerts/plays/fairs etc.
Dropped to school when they were young (that would not have been very often though, maybe once or twice a term). I was a SAHM at the time so did all collections.
He never arranged playdates. Would speak to anyone he met!

My DH hates the school run, hates going there, will attend events but looks and feels uncomfortable most of the time, it's like walking around with a plank of wood. My mil is the headmistress as well . Maybe that's why!

Neither of my parents were especially involved as they worked long hours and I was in childcare before and after school.

When my childminder retired when I was about six or seven, my parents split the school run but just dropped and ran so they could get to work. They couldn't come to plays or events during the school day, but attended ones in the evenings.

I remember hating it - but more because I was stuck in after school care everyday when all my friends got to go home and see their parents.

DH is involved when he's not away. I'm the Mum who gets regularly told how wonderful he is cos he drops his own children off at school and occasionally picks them up! He also goes to some of the school plays and the odd parents' evening, though I do the majority of that stuff. It's a shame that it seems remarkable that he's invested in his children.

DH picks up the children from school each day (I drop off). He goes to parents evenings and is the class rep this year. He's also usually the one who goes to parent nights out as he enjoys these things far more than I do. Most of the other practical stuff is done by me (uniforms, admin, diary updates etc).

I would say overall it's probably about 50:50.

He does quite a lot, especially now as I’m having an awful pregnancy. I do drop off and pick up mostly but that’s because I’m at home in the week more. He picks up on my work days if he can. He did parents evening this term as I was at work and he will try and get time off for shows. He does the majority of reading and homework now as I’m usually exhausted in the evening.