To find it hard being alone

[Whataboutblue]

My friend was over yesterday and just doing ordinary things were fun, in a weird way and could be sort of bulked out, like having a cup of tea in the supermarket cafe and so on.

But that’s the exception so I do find most days drag on a bit.

I suppose I’m wondering how most people get around this?

Could you have a pet?

Thanks, I’ve got cats - I don’t exactly feel they alleviate isolation. I do love them but as cats, if that makes sense.

Do you work OP?

Off at the moment.

volunteer? apply to crisis at Christmas if they have a shelter near you

Well you're probably a bit bored as well as a bit lonely. Do you have many friends?

I'd think about volunteering if I were off and bored.x

I'm sorry that you find it so hard.
Are you able to do anything that would give you more social contact? Join a class or work for a few hours in a charity shop?

Volunteering is lovely but I kind of have to love my normal life as well and it can be a bit empty, I don’t know.

Are you Ill, is there anything stopping you working? Do you have no partner? What about dating? Is that out of the question at the mo?

The thing about volunteering etc as that you meet new people, and give you opportunities for new friendships.It's not just about the every day interaction, it's about the potential for widening your social circle.

I was exactly the same at this point last year. In the New Year I joined a little local 'running' club (i'm very unfit!). It led to a few of us going to a little local yoga club, and sometimes to a bootcamp together. This Christmas, not only am I a (little) bit fitter, I have some lovely friends who I meet for coffee and turns out they were a little bit lonely too. And it was all on my doorstep the whole time. I just had to get myself out there, which was scary but no-one is going to come knocking to see if you want to come out with them, the effort has to come from you and I think you'll be surprised that lots of people feel just the same as you.

No I know. But I’m not trying to sound difficult but people are busy they haven’t got time to hold my hand and I get that I’m just saying it’s lonely

if you do want to make new friends try meetup.com. I split up with my husband and lost friends at the same time. I've been making a real effort to go to meet ups and have met some lovely people who are now proper friends. It's daunting at first but worth it.

It can be.

Time-consuming, taxing hobby? Quilting was what I did when I couldn't work.

Also podcasts with people speaking. So there's someone 'chatting' in your house.

And volunteering.