Boyfriends Mum and Christmas

[Pickledonion24]

Boyfriends Mum lives 4 hours away so he dosnt often see her. we live together and have been dating for two years I’ve known him for 3. Our parents have never met and I said he could invite her to stay for Christmas. He kept putting off inviting her so I said if you don’t want her to come don’t worry. He kept saying he did and eventually asked her after my Mum and step dad said you better ask her before she makes other plans. My boyfriend after that said she’s coming for Christmas so I asked when. He said he would find out when he was off for Christmas and message her. My mums asked him daily since the start of December I’ve asked a few times so we can make the spare room and calculate dinner plans we have 11 of us coming on Christmas Day. I gave in and finally texted her today to ask when she was coming and she replied that she was waiting for my boyfriend to let her know when he’s off work he’s know for a week. I then asked him again if he wanted her to come and got all annoyed and said why would I not want my Mum to come i will ring her after dinner. He hasn’t rang her says he’s got a headache and will do it tomorrow ffs it’s not that hard

If it was me I would have Said to my Mum do you want to come for Christmas come down on the Friday and told Christmas host when she is coming

Agree op, it would really annoy me if DS or DD had invited guests to stay but wouldn't organise things and tell me when they were arriving. Especially at such a busy time of year when other people want to visit, go out etc.

I find it really rude of him.

My DP is a bugger for not making definite arrangements. After an occasion where he rang his mum to ask what time we should at hers, a 90 minute drive away, and was told ... in 90 minutes time, when I was still in my pyjamas, I now take matters into my own hands and make all arrangements myself.

It sounds like your BF may be of similar ilk.

I'd just heat the house etc anyway, after all, you know she's coming.

Your dm should be asking your dp when his mum is coming. Its her house and she has a right to know when her guests are coming so she can prepare and he should be able to do simple stuff like this all by himself being an adult and all.

Tell him to get his finger out tonight or you will organise his mums visit tonight and he will do the picking up from station etc if she cant drive.

I say fuck him and ring and ask her if she wants to come then make arrangements with her re days etc saying your mum needs to get things ready. Hes Not actually said he doesn't want her there so there shouldn't be a problem.....

And that's just how the OP will end up back here in 10 years time ground down by a life of sorting out things for him!

I'd tell him - it's my parents' house, they want to know even if in your view it's not necessary. You need to speak to your mum then confirm to my parents this evening. If not, her visit is off. End of. If he doesn't do that, I'd seiously consider why I was with someone who didn't give a shit.

If your mum is anxious to know then get her to ask your DH and explain to him that she needs to know the details now. I expect he would react a bit differently to your DM rather than you.

I don’t think it’s unresenable to want to know when a guest is coming down

That's fair enough, but then why did you start this thread in AIBU at all then if you're sure you're not BU, and you will argue with anybody who says otherwise?

He phoned her last night she’s letting us no if she can make it down on Friday as she’s broken her car