Feel like I'm missing out on everything

[PipLongStockings]

So DS2 started reception in September. The school are supposedly outstanding.
We had missed 2 non school uniform days and 1 parents invited in to classroom.
The school have "soft drop off" where children arrive from 8.45 to 9am and walk straight into class so we don't see other children/ parents in the morning. At this stage spoke to reception who said it's on paper newsletters and to let them know if we miss any more.
Yesterday another non uniform my boy missed out on... Spoke to school teacher, she said she absolutely with no mistake puts letters into school bags and I should check in more often
I said it is emptied every evening, no-one else collects my son and all school communication goes on magnetic board. She said she doesn't know but it was definitely in there... Fine
This morning, spoke with head and class assistant to ask what time parents are expected to collect children. She said normal time. Turned up for collection, no parents, no children. Walked straight to reception, after considering whether I'd missed a GMT time change or something. She said go round to the classroom the children should be there.
They weren't, all parents were invited into class for the afternoon and were allowed to take children home early.
I was fuming/tearful. The teacher was patronising taking Ds1 school bag and putting an imaginary piece of paper in it to show me that she does indeed put newsletters in. Does she think I'm upsetting my child on purpose?
Not sure on next step
Sorry that's pretty long! Just venting too

Most schools now have EVERYTHING on email, Parentmail.

Have you definitely signed up for this?

I would make an effort to be friends with a parent and ask them to forward letters to you to make sure you get them.

I cannot believe any teacher wouldn't want you to have the letters and to not be there for your child.

I would be upset too. How patronising to blame you for not finding a newsletter that was never in the bag.

Do they by any chance also publish the newsletters online, or do they have an option for you to receive it by email?

My two are teens but even when they were at First School we had email newsletters.

Also do they have a school FB page?

Tell them to get with the times and set up a text messaging system and/or school app with notifications, like DD3's does. Or if they're going to have so many non uniforn days, maybe ditch it all together. DD3 is lucky to get more than 2 or 3 such days in an entire school year.

IIRC we also had reminder texts about non uniform days/bring their wellies etc

How do they notify you if school is shut because of snow etc?

Have you made friends with any other parents who could remind you?

Have you thought about setting up a WhatsApp group or Facebook group for your class if there isn't one?

Is there a Class Representative for your class who you could befriend?

Make friends with other parents who can share stuff - WhatsApp or Facebook helpful for this kind of thing. It is odd that none of the letters are coming home though - ask the office about email/text - their communication generally must be rubbish!

That's crazy. Our school have newsletters, but they also use twitter and send texts ... we get so so many reminders (mind you I have 4 children so could be down to that). I have had some "reminders" which were actually the first time I had ever heard of it, but we still have enough notice.

I would be upset too. Do you have any contact with any of the other parents?

To update,
No online newsletters
No Facebook page/WhatsApp
Text service seems to be for snow days/ staff vacancies only
Very small village school
There is a online learning portal, signed up to that but nothing on there about special days.
We recently received a parents communication feedback questionnaire. On that I strongly suggested switching to an online option.
It was the fact she didn't apologise, just blamed me and clearly thinks I'm a shocking parent.

That is very odd. The school got an Outstanding although their means of communicating with parents is archaic?

Last Ofsted 7 years ago. As I understand it once they get outstanding they don't get reinspected. Someone else may be better placed to clarify this

Thats incredibly unprofessional of the teacher and I would complain about that. Also complain about the verbal misinformation that morning. In writing. Request newsletters be sent via email.

Is there a possibility that someone is taling the letters out of ds bookbag?

I would start a WhatsApp group if I were you, just ask a few parents as you come across them and word will get around to the others, I think you'll find you've created a useful thing for everyone given the school relies upon letters in bags! Definitely better than the mum guilt when you child turns up in uniform to a non uniform day...

Our local primary (small village school, listed building etc etc) has a huge chalkboard on the wall outside, divided into the 5 days. At the beginning of each week, it's updated with all the gubbins. I don't have small DC anymore, quite glad too because I'd have been run ragged this week with all the stuff going on!

They also have a website and a FB page though.
But maybe the chalkboard would be a start....