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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

AIBU about credit card or is DP?

17 replies

Peanutbutter98 · 19/12/2017 14:10

So me and DP live together and are thinking about buying a house soon, neither of us have great credit scores as we’re both young. I checked my credit score on Experian and used their credit check to see if I was eligible for any credit cards, just something I could use to build some credit up (wouldn’t be spending anything I couldn’t afford), and was eligible for a aqua credit card, so I went through with it.
Now DP is annoyed with me because I didn’t discuss it with him before hand and rather told him after the fact, I don’t quite see what the big deal is, so I guess my AIBU is was I wrong to not discuss it with my partner beforehand?

OP posts:

ItsAllGoingToBeFine · 19/12/2017 14:12

If your finances are entirely separate from your DP, then YANBU.

If your finances impact on each other (including getting a mortgage togethe /living together?) then I think YABU.

gamerchick · 19/12/2017 14:14

I think it’s personal. I discuss stuff like credit cards with the husband and visa versa, I may not be impressed if he just got one without me knowing I have to admit. I think it’s important to be transparent about stuff like that in a relationship.

He on the other hand wouldn’t give a toss what I did.

Maybe this could be a start to having the financial conversation if you have differing views. He obviously thinks differently to you.

Willswife · 19/12/2017 14:14

Your finances your business. It's actually very sensible to build a good credit history if you want to obtain a mortgage in the future.

Make sure you have a direct debit set up though so that your payment is never accidentally missed.

speakout · 19/12/2017 14:16

My OH has no idea about my credit cards. ( I have 4)

I wouldn't even think of discussing it with him.

LittleMe03 · 19/12/2017 14:18

Many people make the mistake with credit cards of spending more money than they usually would because it's easy on credit.

Maybe he has done this before, or knows someone who has. Or maybe he is concerned you might do this and get in debt and financial difficulties.

I think he is maybe just concerned about the financial trouble credit cards can cause if not used sensibly. It's easy to say you will, nobody gets a credit card with intentions of spending beyond their means.

However, I don't think you were BU as it doesn't seem as thou you were keeping it a secret from him, just hadn't mentioned it before making your decision to do this.

bumpysleighride · 19/12/2017 14:22

Having a credit card, buying things in it and paying it off again will help a lot towards having a good credit rating and getting a mortgage. If you want to buy together you need to sit down and draw up an action plan together.

thelastredwinegum · 19/12/2017 14:22

His he worried you might get into debt that you may struggle to pay off?

Capelin · 19/12/2017 14:24

I don't get why he's upset either.

thelastredwinegum · 19/12/2017 14:25

*is he

ThePinkPanter · 19/12/2017 14:25

It depends if you're finances are linked. If you're entirety independent with money, never be subbed by him and have no linked financial products YANBU

PineappleTits · 19/12/2017 14:33

I got a credit card for the same reason. And after loads of hard work my score is now excellent. Just be sensible

Bringbeboback · 19/12/2017 14:38

I don’t think YABU as a credit card can really help bump up your score. Make sure you pay it off in full every month and only spend 30% of your limit each month too if you want to improve your score

GetMeOutOfHerePlease · 19/12/2017 14:44

If you had a history for uncontrollable spending, or if your not so good credit score comes from not paying debts off I can see why he may be worried about history repeating itself. If this is the case though, him worrying about you not paying a credit off should make him question your ability to pay a mortgage off. If he isn’t worried about you meeting mortgage payments, why is he worried about you meeting credit card payments. (A first credit card, or credit card for someone with not good credit history isn’t gonna be a massive credit limit, probably around £300/£500)

Also, if you’d secured against something that he jointly owns like a car, then yes, it should have been discussed but if not, it’s none of his business. The days of women needing a mans agreement for credit is long gone though, it’s not up to him to decide if you’re allowed a credit card.

Are there other things he feels you should discuss with him first?

CuriousaboutSamphire · 19/12/2017 14:44

is he worried you might get into debt that you may struggle to pay off Is that the same as "Does he treat you like a child who can't be trusted to make sensible decisions?"

DailyMaileatmyshit · 19/12/2017 14:51

I think if you are considering buying a house together you should be discussing financial decisions. He shouldn't get the last say on your financial decisions however they do impact on him (re mortgage).

Original poster

Peanutbutter98 · 19/12/2017 15:02

Thanks everyone for your replies, just to answer a few questions, were not financially tied, no joint accounts, we rent a place from his friend where bills are included and we split rent 50/50. Both have separate bank accounts, etc.

And I'm definitely don't have a problem with uncontrollable spending

OP posts:

AngelsSins · 19/12/2017 16:17

I don't think it's any of his business then. Has he explained why he's annoyed?

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