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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be really tired of slobby DS?

7 replies

Sanshin · 19/12/2017 07:23

DS is 18 (19 in Feb) and is at uni - supposedly full time but only seems to be there a few hours a week. He also works around 8-16 hours a week. The rest of the time he sits in his room in his underwear covered in a duvet at his computer desk. He is surrounded by crisp and sweet wrappers, pot noodle pots, takeaway wrappers, Coke bottles, beer bottles, mucky clothes and god knows what else.

He does absolutely nothing around the house. When he runs out of clean clothes he dumps piles of them from his floor into the wash basket and that's it.

Yesterday he was home all day, DH and I were at work. He'd bought some sausages and made a fry up leaving the pan in the oven with half an egg in it, oil all over the hob, sausages left open on the side ... the kitchen was full of mucky pots and he never thought to load the dishwasher - just added to the mess and then buggered off back upstairs.

I made DH and I lamb shanks for tea and told him to sort himself out. DH told him whatever he cooked he needed to tidy up afterwards ... so he ordered takeaway!! He after being lectured about the mess he's leaving every day, he went and left the takeaway wrapper slung across the kitchen work top.

He pisses all over the bog and bathroom floor, leaves wet towels on the floor or in the bath - the house is just a shit hole and the majority of it is him. He pays no board either so is slobbing here for free whilst spending his student money on gadgets and takeaways.

AIBU to tell him that he needs to start looking at student accommodation? We've had many a talk about the house and he just doesn't listen. He can't even be arsed to put a sheet on his bed so has been sleeping on a bare mattress for months.

I'm beyond fed up of it now and it makes me not want him living here anymore.

OP posts:
StripySocksAndDocs · 19/12/2017 08:06

What have you tried so far?

It's a difficult one, generally you can't shock or talk respect into people.

Where's his money coming from? Also has he ever done chores in the house?

BarbarianMum · 19/12/2017 08:08

Sounds like its time for him to move out.

stickytoffeevodka · 19/12/2017 08:12

Well, what housework did you make him do as a teenager? Has he ever been responsible for doing his laundry, loading the dishwasher or keeping things tidy?

I read a lot of threads where people don't make their teenagers do housework because they don't want to deal with the arguments, but if they're never made to do it growing up, it won't come naturally to them.

I would be sitting him down and explaining what you expect (new year, new rules) - he needs to do his laundry, take his rubbish out, clean up after himself in the kitchen and pay rent if he's working.

Is there any reason he didn't move out to go to university?

Tensecondrule · 19/12/2017 08:14

It’s a tricky one, being parent to two adults myself I can sympathise, although they weren’t that bad and would respond to a stern talking to! As he’s working he’s got his own money so you can’t withdraw that. The only thing I can think of is turning off the Wi-fi until he’s dressed/cleared his mess up, but this requires you to be hovering about over him constantly! Good luck.

DancesWithOtters · 19/12/2017 08:17

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

peachgreen · 19/12/2017 08:21

I'd give him two choices - move out or start paying board and sharing the household chores.

Tugtupite · 19/12/2017 08:23

I'd charge him board of he's working....paying for takeaway instead of cleaning up after cooking is a pisstake.

You're more than entitled to insist on basic hygeine in your house....so if he needs "help" meeting that requirement then I'd be charging him additional fee for cleaning services and laundry services. He'd also be charged for a new mattress Xmas Smile

I think my DS does more housework than yours. He's 9.

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