To ask if you would stretch yourself financially for the sake of a pet

[holdinoniknow]

My current situation is that I'm able to keep my horse somewhere for free and I don't need a car for it. But over the last few days various things have changed and I'm no longer in this position (nothing I can change)

So my current options are as follows:

1. Keep my horse, move him to a stable which would be around 250 a month all in, and buy a car (I'd have to, nowhere local), which would really stretch myself financially BUT enable me to not have to say goodbye to my horse

OR

2. Sell/loan my horse, be comfortable financially BUT potentially regret it

It sounds like such a stupid dilemma but I'm really torn between my head and my heart. I really don't think I'd be able to afford keeping my horse and a car, but at the same time, I feel like I'm giving up.

I haven't had my horse long and he's difficult so he's not going to be an easy sell either. I keep thinking I know I need to be sensible, but then I go to write his ad/look at pics and feel awful

Sorry stupid first world problem I know.

I'd put the horse out on free loan to save on costs.

The horse will still be yours so it's not permanent and you will have the option of having them back when your finances are better.

You say he's not easy but I'm sure an experienced rider would be fine.

You have to weigh it against the emotional cost, it feels normal to me to have terrifying vet bills and financial pressure from time to time (although my dog recently took this to unimaginable extremes after surgery for 2 cancers and some complications - it worked, he’s worth it) horses are a little easier because sharers can help ease the workload and the costs.

Is there really no grazing within cycling distance? Can he live out?

You probably should have thought about this senario before taking him on though as I think Horses fall into the ‘luxury’ category and most of us can’t afford to own one.

What a very helpful comment Strawberry. How lucky we are when we can see into the future and know which responsibilities we can undertake and which we can't.

Horsesforcourses suggestion sounds a good one - part-loan if you are able. But I totally agree with this comment she made

If you are going down this route, make sure you put together a loan agreement and get a decent insurance policy for vet's bills, to safeguard against any difficult discussions if anything bad were to happen.

And to this I would add insurance in case there was a horse-related accident that affected someone's ability to work, particularly if he is a feisty one. Even the best of riders and the gentlest of horses can have serious accidents.

Stretching yourself to the extent that a vet/farrier's bill, or indeed big house bill, would lunge you into very dire straits would not be good for you or your horse.

What breed is your horse? You can reduce costs drastically by going grass livery. Will the car help you in other ways? I think struggling to keep a roof over your head or food on the table is a no brainer. Only you truly know your situation. There are also people on here that have no idea of the bond between horse and owner.

Loan the horse out at least if circumstances change you still have him

Maybe working livery at a riding school/agricultural college?

I have stretched myself in the short term for my horse, when things have gone wrong elsewhere or with her, but never gone into serious debt I knew I wouldn't manage, and I wouldn't. I had a hairy two weeks this time last year when I needed to relocate and I had to wait for a weeks in hand pay. Yes I used a card, but I knew I was earning and could pay it off almost straight away and did. Had I not been lucky enough to get a job straight away and it had gone on for a month, I'd have loaned or sold her. As much as I'd be devastated, she deserves an owner that can afford to pay for what she needs, and livery yard owners, farriers and vets need to be paid.

I don't and can't drive, so for me I have always walked and used buses. So the horses are always within a 20 minute walk which also walks the dogs effectively! I live rurally, with currently 5 yards (small but with everything you'd need if no fantastic facilities) within walking/bussing distance, I realise I am lucky in that regard - but would there be somewhere like that for you? I buy a pass and it works out £18 per week for the bus - I don't know but I suspect that's cheaper than a car? I have been on yards with no electric and no school etc, and made it work. The only thing I can't do is water. I've also always worked shifts, and therefore can do one end of the day, I've usually palled up with someone else and we take turns doing things, cuts down on spending on help.
My horse however is not a hobby, it's a lifestyle and I do nothing else. And I'm happy with it. The stables are my social life, the horse is my exercise (riding and care) I don't have holidays, maybe a short break (to a horse show!) in the summer months. I have a few 'decent' clothes for anything I need to go to and the rest is work uniform or jeans and jumpers for the stables. No point getting nails done or expensive hair cuts etc. It's not my thing, and horses are. I didn't do those things before I had her so I'm not sacrificing anything in that sense.
BUT if me keeping her was going to cost me another £250 a month, and then the cost of a car just for seeing to her (?£250 again a month?) I could not sustain that at all, and she'd have to go. I would try part loaning, or full loaning but ultimately even with those options, you always have the risk of getting the horse back unexpectedly and sometimes ill or lame and with a potential vets bill to boot.

If by stretching yourself you mean going without a night out once a week, buying own brand groceries instead of branded and cancelling your gym membership and you actually want to, then I'd say yes do it. If it means going without basics such as heat, food or getting into debt then I'm afraid I'd advise you to sell.
Oh good luck OP, it's an awful decision to make. I feel for you.

I have and would stretch myself for mine. Whether I would for a horse I'd just got would depend on a few things, but mainly the chance of finding it a good home.

Your idea of difficult could be nothing more than an experienced child's idea of fun, in which case full loan/ sale would be easy. Or your idea of difficult could be deadly dangerous to many experienced adults, in which case you have almost no chance of a good home.

Difficulty with loaning/ sharing is that few people experienced enough for a project will risk putting in the work when you could take it back/sell once they've increased its value. So could you get him reasonably sorted with a few months of scrimping & hard work & then full loan? Assuming that is you don't decide to sell.

If you’ve not had yor horse long, did you not consider what would happen if you couldn't rent the place he is at now long term?
I guess it’s easy to say this now but it seems as though you let your heart rule your head before you bought him.

I would either consider asking a riding school (if there is one) if you can do working-livery. So even though you’d still need a car, the rent for the horse would be reduced as the school could use him once you had brought him on a bit.

I do stretch myself for my animals (two dogs one horse)

I go without nice things and nights out to keep them. Basically any extra is spent on them rather than other luxuries. My friends spend money on shoes and I spend on horse shoes

However if it meant I couldn't afford basics or general living then I probably wouldn't keep the horse. I love my horse but I do think of them as more of a hobby than a pet and I do think if she was causing us to be in financial difficulty she would be sold.

The dogs I would remortgage for

Hmm is there a third option? With the place you’re keeping him for free, is there absolutely no way you can negotiate keeping him there?

Would do, have done, would do it again. Four Thoroughbreds in our household OP so I feel your pain! My advice get the cheapest livery package you can and do the slog yourself (in winter my alarm ranges from 4.30-5.30am), get organised on your days off so farrier, hay, straw, feed etc... is delivered (wherever possible but in bulk), make friends with local farmers will save you money on bedding and forage. If he's a character no point paying fancy full livery you'll end up doing most of it yourself (made that mistake with my old boy, £125 a week full livery but they wouldn't turn out or bring in or be in stable as he was "dangerous." No he was used to throwing his weight around and very quickly realised that eats back teeth gnashing rearing when led gets you utterly ignored while goodbehaviour equals carrots!). Get the cheapest car you can (check running cost before parting with cash too) and good luck, he's lucky to have you x

I'd do the loan if you can find somebody, otherwise I think I'd have to say sell him. Sorry it's come to this for you, horses really are part of the family aren't they.

Sorry, but I'm another who thinks that you should have thought this through a bit more. You've not had the horse long and are already struggling at the first obstacle - you banked everything on having free livery and not needing a car. Horses aren't cheap, they always throw up expensive problems - you always need much more money than you think.

I'd sell him. You've not had him long, it's not like selling a horse that you've had for years (although I appreciate it's still not nice to see them go). The odds of a riding school wanting a working livery that is a quirky project horse are low, and finding a good loaner is not easy, it could take months. You'd be better off selling and finding a horse to share.

Are you moving him to part livery? Is it possible for you to find a sharer for a few days a week, that could bring in a few quid (I had a sharer who paid me £15 twice a week)

I too have a horse and sacrifice quite a bit to keep her. I don’t buy myself clothes or basically spend any money on myself. She is however vital to my life as a person. The time I spend with her and my friends at the Yard is my special time and I won’t give that up.

Perhaps there’s a cheaper livery nearby?

No I wouldn't get into debt. I think the best thing is to either look into trying to find cheaper livery/grazing or part-loaning. If neither are possible/viable, then I think you have to loan or sell. Agree with PP that if loaning make sure you get a proper loan agreement stating who pays for what (farrier/vets/insurance etc) and what the loanee's responsibilities are. I've seen loans without this go very wrong.

Horses can be expensive to run. My DCs pony costs £100 month just to insure- never mind running costs (though as we have our own grazing and stabling, this does cut down costs considerably). My old mare is impossible to insure (she's over 30 years old) but as much as I love her, I wouldn't spend a fortune on her as I feel invasive treatment would not be in her best interests. I think if you can't afford it, then you have to loan or sell.