to post this here for traffic ? Xbox related

Squaddielife · 2017-12-18T13:41:44+00:00

Apologies in advance, I had no idea where was best to post this ... After much deliberation we've bought DS age9 an Xbox S for christmas. He currently has a WiiU and Fifa18 was the only thing on his christmas list but WiiU doesn't support it so we plumped for Xbox. Anyway, I'm wondering regards to how much screen time to allow him? If any of your kids have xbox how much time do you allow? Thanks :)

shoeaddict83 · 18/12/2017 13:45

my DP's kids were getting ridiculous with their screen time on ipads/games etc, it started causing them to be moody if we took it off them, and almost obsessed with being on some form of game or technology. We now impose a 2 hour limit per day maximum on the weekends we have them. They kicked off massively to start with but are fine and accept it now.

They have a million toys, games, books etc to play with but it was all untouched for favour of technology. It drives me mad how obsessed some kids are these days, coupled with online safety concerns (we had wobble with DSD over some online contact with a stranger) we just thought it best they be limited.
Ultimately its up to you as the parent, but for us that 2 hr maximum works.

Original poster

Squaddielife · 18/12/2017 13:53

Thanks Shoeaddict :)

He's really good at the moment for stopping screen play when i ask as he knows he just won't get the tech back (be in WiiU or 3DS)

2 hours on the weekends sounds good. I was thinking maybe a 3 hour total throughout the week and he can choose which days... for example mon/wed/fri and hour each. This is of course after homework is completed.

I'm going to include a letter from santa outlining what screen time he's allowed hehe

OP posts:

keepondreaming · 18/12/2017 14:00

Bit of advice if you've bought new Xbox - get it out of the box, plug it in and let it download all the updates which can take hours. Otherwise the chances are your DS will not be able to play with it until Boxing Day!

Original poster

Squaddielife · 18/12/2017 14:08

Ha yes Keepondreaming I thought of that so it's all ready to rock & roll.

I have zero experience of xbox so needed to get my own head around it as i'll need to lead DS on it and don't want the hassle on xmas day !

Thanks for the heads up though

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Mulberry72 · 18/12/2017 14:14

My DS is 11, he has 1 hour a day max, although this can be a bit longer if I’m ill (chronic illness) or we’re no doing anything at a weekend.

It’s definitely worth setting ground rules, it makes for a much easier ride. Although I suspect we’ll have fun & games over Christmas as we’ve bought him a big TV for his bedroom so he can take the Xbox up there, but we’ll see!

Angelicinnocent · 18/12/2017 14:18

At 9, we allowed DS 1 hour per night after homework and dinner but before bath etc so he had screen free time before bed. Weekends, we allowed as much time as he wanted after lunch and before dinner, provided we weren't doing anything else.

We also had a rule that arguing when we said time to come off meant he lost it for the rest of the week however, a polite request to finish his current game was fine if he could give a realistic timescale eg about 10 minutes was fine, 30 minutes was not.

EmilyChambers79 · 18/12/2017 14:41

I've a 10 year old with a PS4.

He's allowed an hour on a Saturday and an hour on a Sunday. Not allowed on it during the school week.

He did get a bit dependent on it at one point and was right moody and was ting to get home just to play on it so I stopped it and made it weekends only. He's ok now though.

It's also in the living room so he can't sneak on it during the week even if he wanted to!

DianaPrincessOfThemyscira · 18/12/2017 14:47

We have an Xbox and have just bought a Nintendo switch. They play in the morning (before we get up) and might play for an hour after school?

I tend to impose cool down time every so often rather than a strict daily or weekly amount, although we have similar freedoms as @Angelicinnocent. Mine (three of them) are fine with that. I think the important thing is keeping it in a common area or being vigilant about taking away the controller if you think they might abuse it if you have it in their room!

Honestly I kind of think what’s the point if you’re going to only allow an hour every Saturday and Sunday? Movies are longer than that! It’s an expensive piece of kit as are the games for such limited use.

EmilyChambers79 · 18/12/2017 15:21

Honestly I kind of think what’s the point if you’re going to only allow an hour every Saturday and Sunday? Movies are longer than that! It’s an expensive piece of kit as are the games for such limited use

Because the longer DS spends on it, the more stroppy and moody he gets when he has to come off. Sometimes he uses the two hours in one go and when he comes off after, he's almost in tears that he can't play longer and it's unfair.

I also don't understand children who have screen time morning, evenings and weekends but different strokes I suppose.

Mousewatch · 18/12/2017 16:27

My DC (10 & 12 ) can go on tech at 6pm (bed at 8:30) as long as all homework is done and their bags are ready for the next day.

If they need their phone or computer for homework then that's fine and I 100% trust them not to piss about with it.

At weekends they can do what they want as long as everything is done for Monday. If they get moody whilst playing their Xbox or whatever they know to get off it for a while.

AlmostAJillSandwich · 18/12/2017 16:35

If the only game he will have for it is fifa, take in to consideration the length of a match. I don't know what it is myself, but if matches take 20 minutes for example, and theres set up time in between matches etc, hes either going to end up playing 2 and having no time to finish a 3rd within his allowed hour and lose 15 minutes off his allowed time, or hes going to keep over running and have to turn off mid game, which could affect his game either progress wise, or even corrupt it if you insist on switching it off without completing.

Honestly think its a bad idea buying such a big shiny expensive tempting present then limiting to such a minimal amount of time to actually use it. 3 hours a week is nothing, once you actually start playing an hour goes in what feels like minutes, then you wonder why they get upset at being made to turn it off and getting stroppy.

EmilyChambers79 · 18/12/2017 16:57

Honestly think its a bad idea buying such a big shiny expensive tempting present then limiting to such a minimal amount of time to actually use it. 3 hours a week is nothing, once you actually start playing an hour goes in what feels like minutes, then you wonder why they get upset at being made to turn it off and getting stroppy

DS doesn't get stroppy after an hour.

What does happen, the longer he spends on it, the more he wants to go on it and he would happily sit on it all day and night.

When he first got it, there was no limit as such. He would constantly ask to go on it, purposely misbehave on days out so he could get home to get on it, cry and throw things until he could go on it, literally sit there rocking until he could go on etc.

So I put my foot down and made it half hour and upped it to two hours a week. Now his behaviour was back to how he used to be. He doesn't live for the PS4 anymore and is back to his normal activities he enjoys.

So while you think I'm making him stroppy by not allowing him unlimited access or more access, I've actually got his behaviour sorted and I'm building up the time he has slowly and what he can handle without getting to how he was.

I also don't think screen time for hours a day is beneficial for a child. Now, he played with his other toys, he draws, he writes, he builds with Lego and his concentration and behaviour is brilliant again.

shoeaddict83 · 18/12/2017 23:14

I also don't think screen time for hours a day is beneficial for a child. Now, he played with his other toys, he draws, he writes, he builds with Lego and his concentration and behaviour is brilliant again
Couldn’t agree more with this, exactly the reason we limit to 2 hours. There’s more to life than sitting in front of a games console and I don’t think it’s wrong to limit kids time on them and instead do other activities with them.

LadyLoveYourWhat · 19/12/2017 00:37

Once you've decided, you can enforce the limits automatically, using Microsoft Family accounts. I found there was a lot less protesting when the "computer says no" than when we did!

support.microsoft.com/en-gb/help/4028244

DianaPrincessOfThemyscira · 19/12/2017 10:35

Yes Lady I came back because I remembered that! I get weekly emails about how long the kids have played on their accounts - totted up its averaging between 4-5 hours a week (each).

And I agree there’s more to life than games consoles, but equally I was the type of child that would read all ten of my library books the same day I got them!

Ilovehamabeads · 19/12/2017 10:44

I get an email each week telling me how much time DS spent each day on his Xbox, and on which games. It's very informative. We don't set any mad limits on time unless we have other plans, but equally if the email shows he was on it for ages I'll ask him to reign it in a bit. I love listening to him chatting with his friends over live, and working together in games.

Original poster

Squaddielife · 19/12/2017 14:35

Thanks everyone for your feedback, it's really helped loads.

AlmostAJillSandwich - I take on board what you say about match time... didn't think of that.

LadyLoveYourWhat - that's brilliant I will take a look thanks

Ilovehamabeads - how do you set up this notification? Do you know? That would be really helpful.

So, I've made a letter from Santa to go with the xbox saying that he recommends 2 hours max each day on the weekends and that there are a list of expectations for example, homework done, other toys played with, bedroom tidy and so on. Also included that it's up to mum and dad how much time he gets in the week dependent on his attitude/behaviour. More time can be allowed as and when

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DianaPrincessOfThemyscira · 19/12/2017 15:07

@Squaddielife when you set him up with his account, make sure it’s a kids account with you as the appointed adult. We don’t have anything locked down as the Xbox is in the living room and also there’s no card attached so they can’t buy anything!

If you’re the appointed adult you get the emails automatically - I don’t think you need to set them up.

Ilovehamabeads · 19/12/2017 19:02

Try looking on account.microsoft.com/family - when I type that in it automatically takes me to our own account so I'm not sure what you will see, but that's where you manage all the permissions, screen time, notifications etc.

Glittertwins · 19/12/2017 22:55

He will need a Microsoft live account setting up so that he can play the games. Make sure it is locked down so he can't access what you don't want him to (eg chat) and I think you can also limit Xbox screen time through this too. Failing that, you cookie set a password that has to be entered before he can log on and play it therefore effectively being in control. The Microsoft help forums are very useful and helped me no end staying one step ahead!