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Original poster

Time off work with ill children

18 replies

FiremanSamsBitch · 18/12/2017 09:28

I went back to work 2 weeks ago after maternity leave. Both kids have been poorly on and off. I'm off with both of them today and feel so guilty. What else can I do? There are no grandparents available, no relatives and no close circle of mummy friends to help out as we are reasonably new to the area. What do other people do?? DH had time off last week.

OP posts:
WishingOnABar · 18/12/2017 09:35

Honestly op there isnt much you can do but pray for good health. Young kids get sick, especially so when they go into childcare as they pick it all up from others.
They do tend to get less bugs etc as they get older so it will improve. Flowers to you x

Mooey89 · 18/12/2017 09:38

There’s nothing you can do.
It’s horrible, you feel guilty, but they will get Ill! You might then catch it and need your own time off after... work will get over it.

I tend to offer to take leave where possible, usually if it’s just a day or so they give me parental leave, more than a couple of days and I have to add annual leave, I also offer to work from home even though they don’t let us for childcare reasons, but I think it shows willing!

Im currently off with DS who has chicken pox so I feel for you!

yorkshires · 18/12/2017 09:41

I am off with ill child today, she is 8. I can tell you that she hasn't been off sick for 1.5 years, they do get less sick as they get older.
I don't know what you do for a job but I used to take flexi sometimes if DD was ill so that my employer didn't get pissed off, or I would swap shifts with someone so I wasn't actually taking time off.

yorkshires · 18/12/2017 09:42

Yes, also offered to work from Home but don't think that works so well when they are really little and need attention.

Original poster
FiremanSamsBitch · 18/12/2017 09:43

Thanks for reassurances. I'm a teacher so no flexible time or annual leave unfortunately. Just feel so guilty.

OP posts:
FitBitFanClub · 18/12/2017 09:57

Well, I suppose if anyone knows about sick children and germs, it's a school. I sympathise but it does get better. And the holidays are nearly here!

yorkshires · 18/12/2017 14:28

How are all your children doing? Mine is asleep Smile

fairytaleof2017 · 18/12/2017 14:32

that's a tough call being a teacher - it does get better. I was in this position and DH also finds it hard to take time off as he teaches etc. I remember being in tears the first winter back as I'd clocked up so many sick days and felt awful.

My DD hasn't been properly sick in at least a year now, they are few and far between, I found the first 6 months at nursery the worst for both children and it got better just as I was ready to throw in the towel.

I returned to work in winter too -worst time as bugs are already high this time of year. One friend's DD has been sick on and off since Sept!

fairytaleof2017 · 18/12/2017 14:33

also, up your quack cures/vitamins/probiotics/try and go to bed early because the little angels will also give you the revolting germs :)

thenewaveragebear1983 · 18/12/2017 19:03

It sounds obvious but hand washing really really really helps. Wash your hands more than you currently do (even if that's already lots) and use hot water and soap, and encourage the dc to do the same. It will massively reduce the amount of germs you are exposed to. Particularly before you eat, before you go in your car, after using the computer.

I worked in a men's prison, probably the dirtiest place I have ever seen, and the prisoners were often coming in with all manner of coughs, cold, and let's just say their personal hygiene wasn't always great. After a year of catching every single bug going and passing to the dc as well, I adopted my rigorous hand washing regimen and it reduced the amount of times I was ill hugely.

Barbie222 · 19/12/2017 22:06

Absolutely hand washing. I really think that has made a huge difference in my house. Not sure what age you teach but having a few things up your sleeve / on your desk so someone finds it easier to step in quickly helps if you get the call. My children got better as they got older, and having them at my school has been a bonus here as no one argues when they really need to go home! Can also give them calpol in school day etc. But little ones at nursery - you need to pray for good health! At our school leave taken is unpaid which makes me feel a bit better but I have learned to try to budget for this a few times a year.

9toenails · 19/12/2017 22:33

FiremanSamsBitch Don't feel guilty. Take the time off and cover your back as best you can. In any half-civilised society, such time off work is simply a parent's right.

Check out, for instance, Sweden's tillfällig föräldrapenning: This temporary parental leave is available (by law!) for up to 120 days per child per year for children under 12 years. (Children aged 12–15 require a doctor’s certificate.) (Link here)

Why don't we have this sort of thing in UK? That's a long story, of course. One day? We can but hope. Meanwhile, as I say, there's really no need to feel guilty because you live in a country that is so backward regarding parental rights.

Not your fault! (Unless you habitually vote for ... well, we all know who. Sorry, but yes, it is political, in the broad sense.)

Middleoftheroad · 19/12/2017 22:41

9toenails - reading that makes me realise how backwards this nation is.

ilovesooty · 19/12/2017 22:49

up to 120 days per child per year

Really? I thought that might be a typo.

PinkyBlunder · 19/12/2017 22:53

You’re damned if you do and you’re damned if you don’t when you’re a working parent.

I’m finding 4 years on, the guilt is subsiding because I refuse to give a shit. It’s not like it’s anything I can control!

ilovesooty · 19/12/2017 22:54

I can see it isn't a typo. But surely that means if people had several children and took the maximum leave they would virtually never be at work? Or am I missing something here?

Pinky14 · 19/12/2017 23:20

I have been off this week with my dd. It is a nightmare I don’t have any grandparents to call on and would hate to ask a friend as I think when a child is sick all they want is home and comfort. I’m lucky I work part time but am self employed. I just try and jiggle my days round and work from home in the evenings when they are in bed! Easier said than done if your a teacher! Good luck and don’t feel bad. X

9toenails · 20/12/2017 08:23

ilovesooty
if people had several children and took the maximum leave they would virtually never be at work? Or am I missing something here?

No, you're not missing anything. And you're right, not a typo. But remember this is parental leave on account of sick children: if your child/children were sick for that length of time, wouldn't it be sensible to allow you as parent time off for essential looking-after duty? I wouldn't wish that on any parent ... but if it happened, I'd be more than pleased to accept a parent being 'virtually never at work', as you put it.

That this seems so bizarre to people in UK just goes to show how we, as a nation/society, have swallowed the propaganda of 'economics before people'.

Of course it's even worse in the US in this regard. (And will be here, too, presumably, post Brexit. Sorry, again, but, yes, it is political in that way!)

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