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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be homesick for the UK

142 replies

twiney · 17/12/2017 14:17

I'm a little hungover and had a rough day yesterday and it's triggered a bout of homesickness for the UK. Any other expat MNers feeling homesick for their country?

I miss...

The humorous trashy aspect of Christmas

The free-form approach to womanhood

Pubs

The love of newness and creativity

The acceptance of difference

My friends

The sea and the faded kitschness of coastal towns

The flexible playfulness of using English

There are more. But as Christmas draws nearer and nostalgia kicks in, having tried to integrate here and doing an okay job ploughing on with it, I just wanted to say it out loud: I miss you, UK, I miss your no-nonsense women, an attitude I can still just about hold onto through the various personalities on MN.

I miss you and love you!

OP posts:
RainbowTint · 17/12/2017 19:57

Evelyn Grin it is funny when things like that turn up isn't it GrinGrin

I'm also curious Chardonnay I have friends that have moved to Switzerland and rural France, they've made lives there and love it, both have been living in those place 12-17 years now.

TDHManchester · 17/12/2017 20:05

I know i'm off at a bit of a tangent here but some people have said "i love my country". This isn't correct. It isn't anyone's country least of all the ordinary people. The masses of ordinary people are simply tiny cogs in a capitalist machine. They think they belong and own something but they own nothing. The really owners of the UK are the welathy landed gentry who stole the land from the common people and hold it as their own.

They and state force the rest of us to pay feudal taxes and charges in order to settle upon their land. Fail to pay and you will be punished.

Smitff · 17/12/2017 20:07

Everyone always has to bring racism into everything

Oh, how the other half live Hmm

RoseWhiteTips · 17/12/2017 20:10

I think you have issues.

The last resort: a bit of psycho babble! Lol

RoseWhiteTips · 17/12/2017 20:15

Re. Austria:
I liked Vienna but the recent political jolt to the Far Right is a tad off putting. The smell of the ghastly sausages they eat, though, was not pleasant.

RainbowTint · 17/12/2017 20:17

Grin No babble. Just what I think. Bit sad that you feel the need to be so horrible to posters with a different view to you. A PP said you were childish and sneery, I agree. Not a last resort, just fact.

Eolian · 17/12/2017 20:21

I love the UK, but... hot summer?! Seriously? I live in Cumbria. Summer here mostly involves the rain being slightly less cold than it is the rest of the year (but not much less frequent). Grin

TheweewitchRoz · 17/12/2017 20:32

The UK is fab Op & it's a pity so many people focus on the negative.

I've been where you are as an ex pat & felt terribly homesick every Christmas so my only advice is to try to embrace where you are, make your own traditions & find other UK expats to reminisce with.

You have to make the most of where you are & you'll miss that one day (assuming you move back to the UK).

Merry Christmas!

TroelsLovesSquinkies · 17/12/2017 20:58

I lived abroad most of my adult life, and the homesickness never goes away fully. I used to go out of my way not to have British things at Christmas as it made me worse. I got into the traditions and type of Christmas local to where we lived instead.
Now we are back in UK and for all the negatives and all the people who harped on about "why in hell would you want to move back here for" We are loving it.

missyB1 · 17/12/2017 21:00

Another one here who lived in NZ but was glad to come back to the UK. OP I totally get your homesickness, I really struggled with it. Flowers

writergirl747474 · 17/12/2017 21:02

Hey OP. I read your other post and I know how you feel about trying to fit in with your partner's friends and missing your own. I am in Oz and in exactly the same situation. I feel like an add on to his life rather than having my own. Sometimes I can by lying on the beach on my own and I'd happily give a limb to be teleported back to rainy old London.

On the plus side, my family are coming for Christmas and we're moving back to the UK next year anyway - can't wait. It's the people you miss - living abroad can feel like being in witness protection. You're not sure who you are or how you fit in and your past life seems irrelevant to many.

LucilleBluth · 17/12/2017 21:28

We lived abroad for six years and Christmas just never ever felt 'right'. I love being home. Everywhere has its problems. We are a tolerant nation, we have excellent Television, supermarkets, music, culture, humour. The UK really isn't that bad, in fact it's amazing.

EnthusiasmIsDisturbed · 17/12/2017 21:48

I wasn’t terribly homesick when I lived abroad

It never occurred to me that I would miss the history and richness of culture and being so multicultural as London is

EnthusiasmIsDisturbed · 17/12/2017 21:49

Meant to type I was terribly homesick

That that I wasn’t ....

ferntwist · 18/12/2017 08:50

Did OP ever come back? twiney are you alright?

Original poster
twiney · 18/12/2017 09:41

I'm here @ferntwist thank you for caring! Flowers

Getting a warm glow out of reading these.

And was wowed by how insightful @writergirl747474 is. I reread your post several times. So accurate - witness protection indeed!

OP posts:
writergirl747474 · 18/12/2017 09:53

@twiney ha ha, thanks. I really feel you and me and are in similar situations. It's quite a niche situation to move countries for love. PM me of you like although I don't have all (any) the answers.

corythatwas · 18/12/2017 10:10

Ex-pat in the UK and I do love this country. I just think it's hit a bad patch at the moment, like a much-loved relative giving way to addiction.

But having a foot in two cultures makes it easier to see that there is something that is British that goes beyond the political decisions taken at any given time, beyond the prevailing media climate. The way people joke, the way they use common references, the way they deal with discomfort, the wit and gentle sarcasm. And I love it. Like you love the way somebody walks or the way their mouth curves downwards when they smile. It's personal.

And it's not a competition.I love my old country too. I love the way they still live close to nature, the closeness they have not to a National Trust countryside past, but to actual hands-on memories, the way they still do things with their hands, the way they like to involve children in everything.

It takes time to love two places like that, and it took time before I could feel Britain belonged to me. The first few years were lonely. Not because people did things wrong, but because I hadn't found my way in.

girlwithadragontattoo · 18/12/2017 10:39

Where are you based? This is my first year in Portugal and so far i don't miss a thing. For the first year in a very long time i don't have a cold, we've had about 3 days of rain this month and for the most part has been sunny it's warmer than the UK

bluetongue · 18/12/2017 11:20

I’m homesick for the UK even though I’ve never lived there. I live and was born in Australia but have always felt strangely out of place here. No doubt plenty of those in the UK think I’m mad Grin

Believe it or I hate summer and swimming at the beach. Walking on the sand on a brisk wintery day is lovely though.

HelveticaVanBuren · 18/12/2017 13:36

The United Kingdom is the best place to live in the world. If anyone can suggest a better place then why aren't you living there? If you already live there then good for you, but the UK is still the bets place to live in the world.

ferntwist · 18/12/2017 13:39

Glad you’re doing okay twiney. Great post cory. I love it here. But I’d love to live in the French or Spanish countryside for a year.

Melony6 · 18/12/2017 13:59

Good things about the UK
Varied and beautiful scenery a few hours drive away
No sharks in the sea
Great radio
Reasonably polite drivers
Variety of international food in restaurants
Weather suitable for outdoors all year round (although rain gear might be required)
Dark nights at this time of year so ideal for fairy lights and cosy evenings indoors
........

danTDM · 18/12/2017 14:06

I miss the food soooo much at this time of year.

Iprefercoffeetotea · 18/12/2017 14:30

I think that if you live in a nice area and have a decent income, anywhere is a good place to live (within reason, not sure I would eg pick Baghdad).

Poor people get the short straw in any country, even somewhere like Norway. In fact perhaps it's even worse to be poor in a place where most people are very affluent.

If you could take away Brexit, I'd be more than happy to stay here. As it is, I am very concerned about my son's life chances. But that's one aspect, and although I like visiting other places, I find being defined by my nationality a bit tedious - ie everywhere you go you are introduced as Coffee from England, whereas in the UK I am simply Coffee from workplace/running club/other hobby etc. Ultimately I could have settled in another European country but I'm happy enough here.

And I don't like hot weather, so somewhere like Australia would not have worked for me.