To be sick and tired of parental pressures

[StrugglingAlbion]

My parents and in-laws. Just as bad as each other.

Competitive grandparenting. Pressure to go on holiday with them every bloody year when we just want to go by ourselves (we have the only grandchildren on each side of the family you see). My dad being all hurt that we live a couple of hours away and haven't been to visit as often as usual me because it's too hard with a toddler and new baby in spite of the fact he has a car and is perfectly fit and able to drive.

Travelling across the damn country on Christmas Day and then back again on Boxing Day. Pressure over new year.

They are kind and generous people who dote on the grandkids and we don't want to hurt anyone but sometimes I just want to tell them all to give us peace!

/rant

Some real food for thought here. It's too late to cancel this year but I'm going to need to take some control next year.

Hard though. They are good people and we are all close, but yeah they just don't seem to want to make any effort and I'm feeling resentment growing suddenly. It is so much easier for them to visit us than it is for us to go through there.

I think their view is that, as it was me who moved away, it is up to me to do the running.

start by not visiting as often over the year.

if you would usually do 'the tour' once a month, do it every other.

book a family holiday on your own and don't tell them.

Stop visiting so often, have Christmas at home but do not invite them, invite them after Christmas that way you don't end up needing to play hostess, same with easter/birthdays. As for your in laws hand all responsibility over to your DH to contact/visit ect.

Next year your DC will be 17 month. A great time for saying you want your DC to have memories of being at home for Christmas and not to have to spend hours in a car. Start saying this soon so everyone has a whole year to get used to it.

OP - where did you spend Xmas growing up? Your house or at GPs? If at yours then it adds strength to your argument. If at GPs say you always wished to be at home - still adds strength to your argument!