To feel left out at work?

[moutonfou]

I think I am BU but I can't seem to stop.

A few months ago I went on secondment to a different team at work. I'll be going back to my own team in a few months.

I still have reason to see/work with my team on a weekly basis and we still get lunch now and then, but I feel like something's changed. It's clear I'm missing the 'in jokes', and they're sometimes quite dismissive when I ask what's going on (they'll say 'oh nothing much' or 'it's just so busy you wouldn't believe' but then give no further details'). In particular, there's one person in the team who there was a certain degree of tension with when I was in the team, as we were both at the same level development-wise and both going for the same promotions, although we did get on. I'm now getting a weird territorial vibe from her as if to say 'you're not here anymore, back off'. She is the one who most frequently brings up the 'in jokes' and other things she knows I can't be part of.

But the thing is, I am here! I'm going back in only a few months. AIBU to feel a bit left out?

(P.S. My new team is very small - only me and one other person - we get on but it's not the same).

And yes I know it's 'just work' but I have to spend 40 hours a week there and it's a stressful job so the social element/being able to share frustrations etc is really important to me.

I think once you've been back a few weeks you'll fit in again. You'll know the in-jokes and how busy the team are, etc. This one woman might continue to resent you, but hopefully the rest of the team won't and it won't be so noticeable.

Sure it'll be fine.

Don't over think things at work,they're work friends not true friends. Did you choose the secondment? Are you 100% sure you're going back to your old team? In my company they use secondments as a way to move people on that otherwise wouldn't move on! "Just go for a few months then you can come back" they don't tend to come back.