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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be concerned and ask you for help

1 reply

B0033 · 15/12/2017 15:53

I've been a sahm for 14 years, more or less - we had a little business for a while, I was a clerk to the governors for a few years, just little side jobs like that. But now the DC are getting older I am thinking about what I'm going to do with myself and I am starting the process of getting qualifications for a career.

Part of my plans include a part time job in the industry so I can accrue some good hands on experience (me having this job has helped get me accepted into the access course).

I've had a week of training this week, and dh has taken time off work to watch the little ones, do the school run, etc. Everything has been fine, more or less, but I can't help but feel a bit resentful? Concerned? He'll be taking over in the evenings when I work but this week he's been complaining about all the to-ing and fro-ing for nursery and school pick ups plus all the other odd jobs and teacher meetings in between (I've missed a fair bit of school admin type meetings that he never has had to do), how hard it is to juggle to dog and baby and a sick preschooler, no time to himself, he's tired, etc. I'm also concerned that he isn't watching the baby as well as he could or changing his nappy often enough. I get distracted myself and I'm not sure if I'm holding him up to a higher standard than I would my own actions.

For years, the bulk of parenting and housework has been my responsibility. DH has worked many jobs with long hours but that had changed and I figured I may as well take full advantage and train up for a career that I can enjoy and make good money from. But I'm worried that we won't manage this change in dynamics and I'll end up burning out before I even get properly started.

But for now I'll be working evenings and weekends, and taking a course two days a week. I won't be fully qualified for about 4 years. Please tell me this can work out!!

OP posts:
JoJoSM2 · 16/12/2017 12:18

It can work out but it won’t be easy. Your DH needs a bit of support to get into a good routine. I can imagine that the first week could be stressful. It’s all about good communication and supporting each other really.

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