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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to not find this funny?

75 replies

KnowItNo · 15/12/2017 13:18

Got a spam/marketing email today from an online site to find local professional services with tips on how to avoid stress over the festive season (e.g. use our service to find x, don't go shopping in department stores, don't bother with wrapping presents in the guise of being environmentally-friendly etc.)

I would never normally read these emails and go straight to 'unsubscribe', but they have put a gif at the top of the email to catch your attention. It's a gif of a woman throwing bits of popcorn at a man and as she doesn't stop when he tells her to he smashes her in the face with the Christmas tree.

Although you don't see this in the email, turns out It's staged and there seem to be a couple of other scenarios (same actors, same outcome) on you tube.

Obviously I'm going to unsubscribe as normal from their marketing mail list, but feeling tempted to send them a message too... Just don't appreciate the "joke" of a festive comedy sketch about DV Xmas Confused

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Original poster
KnowItNo · 15/12/2017 17:14

I've stumbled across a news item about a tv "personality" (seems to be a game show host/humorist type - I barely watch telly here so not seen him) getting sacked by the channel France 2 for telling the following joke on live tv 2 weeks ago:

"Guys, what do you say to a woman with two black eyes? Nothing - you've already explained it to her twice."

Wow, perhaps I completely missed the fact that I'm living in a country where DV is funny - a fair few men commenting in the paper under the article about how this PC culture has to stop and we should be free to make and laugh at whatever jokes we like. It's just a joke blah, blah, blah.

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MrsLupo · 15/12/2017 17:59

At least he got sacked, I suppose.

ArchchancellorsHat · 15/12/2017 18:05

That's horrible. Three clips of this crap.

Ameliablue · 15/12/2017 18:06

If this is an unsolicited email rather than something you have subscribed to, I wouldn't reply or unsubscribe but block sender and delete, otherwise you just confirm the email is active and you will get even more spam and potentially viruses.

ReanimatedSGB · 15/12/2017 18:32

I suppose the intention could have been to send the message that 'stop it means stop it' and whoever made the film thought that it would be more effective if it showed a woman as the initial aggressor (nope, not particularly)... but I am more inclined to think it's just idiots. Mind you, the Jackass and Dirty Sanchez idiots generally hurt themselves/each other rather than outsiders...

Original poster
KnowItNo · 15/12/2017 18:43

Thanks Amelia - you're right and I did think about that too, but have realised I think I did go on this site a while ago looking for a driving instructor as finally making the move to getting a car with the steering wheel on the LH side and I've never driven a car like that before and wouldn't want DH to teach me in case we'd argue (and maybe I'd get so angry I'd end up smashing up the car and him too "ha ha" Hmm). So I think they probably have my email address legitimately and have automatically added me to their mailing list.

I really doubt whoever created this mail shot saw it as "domestic violence" and, like one or two posters here, thinks it's ok because it's NOT REAL. But I can't believe there wouldn't be some people opening that email this morning who would be pretty upset by it due to personal experience of being in a domestic situation where things can suddenly take a very nasty and dangerous turn, and as a pp said, DV is often escalated at this time of year.

Mrs Lupo - yes, he did get sacked and that is clearly a step in the right direction. I want to say that it seems like a sort of "Bernard Manning joke" (not that I've ever seen anything by him as too young) that you don't get in the 21st century, but the impression I get is the guy is more like a prime time Saturday night type of TV personality and that people are quite shocked that the Minister for Gender Equality put in her complaint asap and he's been sacked - definitely seen by some as a huge overreaction... but I just can't see how anyone could ever find that joke funny Confused

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MrsLupo · 15/12/2017 18:54

I suppose the argument would be that it was said in a postmodern, ironic, knowing way... context is everything, etc. I'm trying to imagine it said by, say, Frankie Boyle rather than Bernard Manning. But actually even Frankie Boyle has greater finesse than that, and I do find him very funny.

I think I must be getting old. I just want the world to stop being so horrible.

Original poster
KnowItNo · 15/12/2017 19:06

I think I must be getting old. I just want the world to stop being so horrible

Me too, and to stop being told to 'lighten up' about stuff like this. It's not like I can't laugh at 'edgy' or 'outrageous' jokes but this just doesn't seem to have any funny side no matter how you look at it. I've never posted in AIBU before and was bracing myself for a lot of that, but actually I think there was only one, maybe two.

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InternetHoopJumper · 15/12/2017 19:13

The comments are pretty chilling too. There are quite a few commenters who feel the violence is totally justified. I know it's silly of me, but it makes me so relieved not to be in a relationship anymore and I was never treated that badly.

fibrecruncher · 15/12/2017 23:19

Not at all funny. You can also report the video on YouTube.

WillowWept · 15/12/2017 23:26

happylab

I don’t think you understand what slapstick is.

Original poster
KnowItNo · 16/12/2017 11:11

Got an email back this morning:

We sincerely apologise. We admit it was a bit too violent and we had no intention of offending or upsetting anyone. Thank you for sharing your comments with us and we will think twice about the images we use in our newsletters.

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HappyLabrador · 16/12/2017 13:18

I understand it perfectly well thanks Willow. I’m just not offended (or disturbed) by all the things that seem to offend most mumsnetters. Which is pretty much everything it seems..

BoneyBackJefferson · 16/12/2017 14:08

what bothers me about the video (and some of the responses)

Is that no means no and stop means stop, and violence isn't an acceptable response.

That anyone cannot see that (whether staged or not) is beyond me.

TitaniasCloset · 16/12/2017 16:11

That's just not funny at all, yes you should complain. I would never buy a product from a company who used that as advertising.

TitaniasCloset · 16/12/2017 16:12

Oh well done OP! Good response.

ButchyRestingFace · 16/12/2017 16:25

Can’t see how his violent, totally disproportionate response is remotely funny.

Does he use male actors in any of his skits?

Because, if it’s all just women on the receiving end, the subliminal message seems to be

”Hey boys! Is your woman really annoying you? Well, don’t just sit there and take it! Belt her one really hard with a big ol’ Christmas tree and send her flying! Sorted.”

Original poster
KnowItNo · 16/12/2017 16:27

I am pleased they cam back so quickly, and on a Saturday, actually (France is not known for it's prompt customer service and especially not outside of the 35h working week)!. My written French is good but not great so I made it short and a bit sarcastic (not the approach I would have taken in English) and wondered if in fact that would mean they wouldn't take it seriously so was going to back it up with an English email to the heads of company, but they obviously have taken the message on board.

This morning I was wondering if I had been wrong to take it so seriously but in fact the clip was still in the email chain between us and was still just as unfunny and uncomfortable when I opened it today.

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Bluntness100 · 16/12/2017 16:30

WTAF is that video, why would anyone think that’s femotely funny and act it out for the lols. It would be bad enough if they took it in turns of a man or a woman being attacked but why is it only women?

I’d not buy from anyone who thought this was funny.

Original poster
KnowItNo · 16/12/2017 16:31

Butchy (love your username btw) it seems now his career is taking off he uses Mike Tyson in his YouTube skits, a convicted rapist and man whose former girlfriends and ex-wife have said was abusive to them Sad

The video appears on another YouTube link and has lots of comments underneath like "oh yeah, she wanted pain".

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Original poster
KnowItNo · 16/12/2017 16:36

^ so even if the guy who makes the skits is trying to claim that he is somehow trying to send some message about man and their anger, his way of going about it and use of Mike Tyson means it doesn't pass.

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NinonDeLenclos · 16/12/2017 16:47

Wow, perhaps I completely missed the fact that I'm living in a country where DV is funny

You are living in a country where dv is more acceptable and there's much less provision for women to get out...

I agree the use of the video is obtuse.

Maelstrop · 16/12/2017 17:38

Father Christmas being used to frighten children is a French thing, yes, Papa Fouettard (Father Whipper!) will whip naughty children. Better be nice, not naughty!

Original poster
KnowItNo · 16/12/2017 18:53

You are living in a country where dv is more acceptable

That's interesting - trying to be careful about not being too outing (for other people's sake rather than mine) but we rented out our place (like air b n b) and the (English) couple who stayed there apparently got very drunk, sweary and shouty in the early hours of the morning.

Our male neighbour sent a message to my DH the next day, telling him and saying that, although the children don't speak English, they'd heard enough "Fuck!"s to know it wasn't right and they'd gone and slept in their parents' bedroom. Our neighbour, who we only knew enough at the time to have a very limited 'chit chat' with suggested to my DH that he tell me and get me to speak to the female partner, which was excruciating because she wasn't a friend at all but I also felt that - having been given the information - I couldn't ignore it. She told me it was fine, no violence, just shouting and she was as drunk and sweary as her DP, and sorry from both of them, so not much I could do from then on, but I was grateful to our male French neighbour that he had broached the subject with us and very much not in a "this was inconvenient for us/upsetting for our kids" and very much "I'm worried about that woman" attitude. Did wonder about him not going and knocking on the door, but then have friends in the UK who've had this with neighbours and known they needed to do something but not sure what to do for the best. Sad

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