This year me and DH are doing an early Xmas dinner at our place for mainly my side of the family. One of my siblings lives abroad and is visiting for the weekend and the meal has been during this visit. I made a decision not to invite one of my siblings. Mainly because of their partner. This particular sibling and partner are both heroin users and alcohol dependent. The partner and family are well know to the service I work for. Earlier this year a colleague ended up dealing with the family's case after said partner physically assaulted their disabled adult daughter when drunk. I had to declare to my manager at the time that there was a family connection. I said to my mum st the time that I did not want to associate with my sibling's partner, mainly because of the conflict of interests re my job.
Fast forward to Xmas. I have excluded my drug/alcohol dependent sibling from the family meal. Sibling would be welcome but not partner. I didn't want to put said sibling in an awkward position by inviting them but not their partner so opted not to mention anything.
My other sibling has in recent days voiced objection to my actions. I have made things awkward because they are having to withhold info about the meal and be secretive. I have offered to telephone the uninvited sibling to explain the situ but was told "it's now too late". My mother said I am being a drama queen by not wanting to associate with sibling's partner, because of the work connection but also because I have said that I don't want that type of person around my children. In honesty, I'm not entirely comfortable with my alcohol/drug dependent sibling being there either - invariably it ends up with them drinking excessively and being a pain in the arse. My mother insists they'd more than likely behave themselves. I feel like I've caused an awkward situ which was probably avoidable. However, I don't wish to hang out with people that choose this lifestyle.
AIBU?