Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2

Original poster

To think I can be a mum and a police officer

45 replies

Fairylights29 · 15/12/2017 09:33

Last year I got to the final stage of police interviews not long before I found out I had passed I found out I was pregnant. I was told they were doing intakes into next year so I could postpone so there is a chance I could still join next year. I would be taking a fairly big paycut and changing from normal 9-5 hours in my current job so the sensible side of me is saying I shouldn't do it I'm also worried about shift work and potentially missing time / big events with DS. But this is something I really wanted to do so anyone have any experience of police or shift work and how well this works with childcare? Thanks

OP posts:

PinkCrystal · 15/12/2017 10:49

I don't think it is possible unless the other patent is a sahp or has regular hours or grandparents as back up.

The worst things are...
Shifts changing at the drop of a hat
very antisocial shifts
Weird shifts such as 6pm to 4am
Work most weekends and Xmas
Many benefits now been vastly removed or watered down
Stretched resources meaning more risks of assault etc
Many sideways move areas have been civilianised

Original poster

Fairylights29 · 15/12/2017 10:53

Scurry really sorry to hear about you were assaulted it's disgusting the way police and other support services get treated and I have to admit that also really scares me. My attitude before baby was try and it and see and I have my old career to fall back on but more difficult now with a child to think about

OP posts:

Original poster

Fairylights29 · 15/12/2017 10:54

Excuse the terrible writing not sure how to edit

OP posts:

CesareBorgiasSkeletonOnesie · 15/12/2017 10:55

DH is a police officer. The shifts are a pita but actually in some ways he probably sees more of the DC than if he worked Mon-Fri 9-5. DS1 is due to start school next September and as DH’s shifts are 6 on, 4 off (2 earlies, 2 lates, 2 nights) we worked out he’ll be able to take DS to school 60% of the time and pick him up 80%, which is better than he’d manage with a lot of jobs. Also sometimes you unavoidably miss things but you do with any job. You still get annual leave which you can use for important family stuff unless some sort of dire emergency occurs. It’s easier if one of you isn’t a shift worker - I’m not at the moment but will be a junior doctor the year after next which is going to make childcare etc much trickier, but I do think with shift work there are payoffs.

HidingFromTheWorld · 15/12/2017 11:00

My hubby and I met at work 18 years ago (he’s a PC and I was civilian staff). We both worked shifts.

Once we fell pregnant with our daughter (now 16), we decided that I would change roles to ease the issues that surrounded shift work in that environment.

I continued in the force, working around his shifts so that one of us was always with our child. It was the best arrangement for us, particularly when he encountered cancelled rest days, overtime due to incidents or custody matters, etc.

It’s not impossible, but it’s not easy to do. I ended up working in a variety of departments and loved it (major crime, intelligence research, control).

I wish you luck.

LipstickHandbagCoffee · 15/12/2017 11:01

Okay,you need to lose the mum guilt this missing out notion.its a stick to beat mothers with
I’ll tell you if you let that missing out om precious moments enter your thinking you’ll suffer
You’ll feel niggled when other mums comment,such a shame you’ll miss x event and there’s a type will comment
Kids who are loved,held in regard,thought about,interacted with miss out on nothing
Parenting isn’t a turning up competition. Who can attend most events

NC4now · 15/12/2017 11:09

We’re in the police, DH as an officer, me in comms. Shift work means you need to be organised but the beauty is you know your shifts up front and get days off in the week.
Often school things fall on rest days, which doesn’t happen with a 9-5, and for things that don’t there’s reasonable annual leave.
I found things like after school club were prepared to be flexible with the days I booked in as long as I could tell them a half term in advance.

NC4now · 15/12/2017 11:11

Oh, be prepared to become a bit over protective of your DC though! You see all the bad in the world and it’s hard not to let that affect your parenting.
The flip side to that is you’ll be a great role model to your child.

FruitCider · 15/12/2017 11:23

Hear hear. My child will never be allowed to play in the street, use social media or have a mobile phone. I’ve seen parts of society most even don’t know exist...

Anyway, my sister in law is a police officer, I’m currently a nurse and contemplating the jump!

LipstickHandbagCoffee · 15/12/2017 11:29

I have seen,heard,read,experienced things unimaginable to many others
Of course one becomes overprotective but you strike a balance cause kids need street smarts too
Having said that am aware of risk and unsavoury human proclivities so I manage risk for my dc

FruitCider · 15/12/2017 11:35

You can give you kids street smarts without putting them at risk of grooming, just my thought x

LipstickHandbagCoffee · 15/12/2017 11:38

it’s a balance,too laissez faire is slack.over bearing they have no savvy

Mulberry72 · 15/12/2017 11:53

My BFF is a Police officer and has two DC.

She’s separated from her EXH (he’s a Police officer too), so the care is split between them both but the poor DC are here there and everywhere especially when they are both working nights. I honestly don’t know how she does it, some of the tales she tells me make me feel ill.

Good luck if thats the path you choose.

Cath2907 · 15/12/2017 13:29

My sis is a cop and has been for over 10yrs. She has an 8yr old and a 4yr old. She works shifts. It is hard but not impossible. Our parents do school pick ups and drop offs when my sister is working. Regularly she has to look after the kids when she is straight of night shift or hasn't slept well. The job can be scary, sad and traumatic. There is no guarantee you can book off Xmas and other special days. The reimbursement for things like obligatory training courses never covers the actual cost of travel and living away from home for a week. The pay is pretty bad these days and there have been years with no pay rises.
On the plus side the job is varied and interesting and the team spirit gets them through.

EmilyChambers79 · 15/12/2017 13:49

My friends a full time Detective and a single Mom. She relies heavily on her Mom but she can get it to work.

She loves her job and started off on the beat.

NC4now · 15/12/2017 15:37

Oh I do let my kids out of my sight. I’m just very aware of the risks and take steps to protect them, also online. I’m much stricter about social media than a lot of their peers parents for example.
They do have a good life though, and know where there is danger.

LipstickHandbagCoffee · 15/12/2017 15:40

Sounds like you’ve got it just right.its a tricky balance doing the right thing
I have no twitter,no fb,no online photos,no Instagram. Nowt like that

Ralphie2019 · 30/04/2019 18:44

Hi Fairylights29, I saw your old post and was wondering what you decided on in the end and whether you did pursue a job as a police officer and, if so, how it has worked out for you juggling the shifts and a family? I am in the same predicament now as you were back then and wondering whether to leave a 9-5 job or go for it so it would be great to hear from you.

BarbarianMum · 30/04/2019 18:49

With a supportive partner and family it'sperfectly possible. Go for it!

nanamia40 · 28/07/2019 10:36

Hi. My daughter is specials at the minute and I also work nights. My grandson is DS and I have him when she's at work.
But she forgets I also work and I'm up looking g after him while she works or sleeps.
I carnt see what she has to work so much on specails.
Think she forgets I to have a life and she says when she's full time it gets worse. If that's the case I carnt do it.
I feel she lies to ne.
Can u please give me info on shift etc. Shes GMP

Thankyou

Flip

1 2