Aibu that DH asking how much I spent so he can match is a bit tacky????

[Serendipity12]

Hello again!
With Christmas approaching the same old same old dance of disappointment seems on the horizon! The reason I say this is that DH has, after trawling the Internet, asked me what I'd like for Xmas. First two suggestions - contributions to a new piece of furniture I'd like, a perfume I'd like, all blown out of the water. Too expensive. A pet (cost, £10) likewise - 'nothing alive, unless it's a plant.'
So the question again today and now he asks whether I've bought his already, which I have. So then he asks, how much did I spend, so that he can match it. It's Christmas, FFS! Not a match penny for penny, buy one get one free or competition type drama. I just think that this is becoming such hard work that any joy (aka the whole point) of Christmas is ruined. Or AIBU??

I’ll tell him to fuck off or go & buy a gift that he thinks you’d like without reference to cost. FFS you’re not 16 year olds.

I keep getting caught out. We have 3 young kids so I've had 3 maternity leaves and therefore my own bank account balance looks awful. We usually agree to just buy gifts for the kids and not get each other anything and then he goes and gets me things. He makes a big deal of getting the kids to give me the presents and then the kids are confused as to why I've not got anything for him. It makes me feel dreadful and when I try to talk to him about it he gets angry at me for being ungrateful. We're pretty skint so I'd really rather not have anything.

My husband and I have never discussed budgets for birthdays or Christmas gifts. I'd find it really odd to be honest. What if what he wants is 3 times the amount of the thing I would like? Does that mean he shouldn't get his? Or I should get tat I'm not interested in, just to make up the difference?

Last year DH gave me emeralds and I gave him a jar of Marmite.

Best Christmas since the dog died. For both of us.

We Tend to buy in the same price corridor. But we don’t and have never discussed it and it doesn’t matter what the difference is.

We've been together a long time and don't really need or want much, and while I think it's nice that someone wants to give me a present generally speaking it's rare that anyone gets me something I actually like. I know this so I behave appropriately when opening presents and look enthusiastic whatever it is. The other issue I have is I love putting up a tree and hate seeing it devoid of presents. So we set a small budget, offer guidance and usually get a little something that's a small surprise. Every christmas and birthday ends for me with a bag of stuff to take to charity!

"Most people would just expect that sometimes as a weekend gift, or if they're coming back from a work trip"

Huh? Who the hell buys "weekend gifts"? Would never expect any such thing, and happily married for over 30 years.

We set a vague budget or basically say what we want with a surprise thrown in. We aren’t well off though.

We always set a budget, which I stick to there or there abouts. He always spends more on me, and justifies it by sayibg the guy should always spend more on the girl. Im ok with that

Dh and I always agree a budget...I would have thought that’s a pretty normal thing to do.