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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To hate smug round robins at this time of year

221 replies

lastqueenofscotland · 14/12/2017 13:45

Seriously, do people really think I give a shit if their insufferable teenager passed their GSCEs, their vile adult children haven't been fired from their jobs or their toddlers have successfully mastered the art of occasionally shitting in a potty.

Why do people send these? Does anyone care? Surely they are only the object of ridicule?

OP posts:
caoraich · 14/12/2017 17:58

Oh yes, these are awful! My parents still get them from mysterious distant relatives in Australia, who always elaborate in charming Australianisms on their mysterious distant relatives...

"John got bitten by a dingo, luckily we didn't have put him down. Alice has a new Ute but her aunt Lucy seems to have lost some kangaroos in the top paddock"

WHAT DO THEY EVEN MEAN!? Who are these people? Were they going to put John down, the dingo, I thought dingoes were vermin? Kangaroos in paddocks!?

Friends of mine who have started having kids seem to be including photographs of their babies wearing elf outfits in their normal cards. This would be fine, were we not rather sad at not yet having been able to have children of our own, but it's rather hard to say "lovely photos but please no more next year - we've already unfollowed you on Facebook" Sad

Judashascomeintosomemoney · 14/12/2017 18:03

YABU! I’m looking forward to our one arriving this year, we’ve getting one for about ten years now. It’s full of all the usual stealth boasting already mentioned but it is addressed to people we do not know (definitely not meant for any of our neighbours, I know all of their names!), and is from a couple we have never heard of. As I said, only started to get them about ten years ago but DH has owned this house for over 30 years so it’s not for a previous tenant. There’s never a return address, because presumably they think we know where they live Grin so we can’t even contact them to tell them. Bonkers.

2beesornot2beesthatisthehoney · 14/12/2017 18:05

I was gutted when I got home this evening. The Xmas card which for the last 26 years always included a RR was EMPTY !!!! NO RR Shock

YouOKHun · 14/12/2017 18:10

I love round robins and I’m a bit sad that Bragbook has slightly killed them off. However we did get two this year. The first one was from some weirdo cousin of DH’s who had written about her social climbing in the third person Hmm

The other RR was standard stuff; lots of stealth and not so stealth bragging about A levels and conservatories and holidays and liberally sprinkled with exclamation marks to try and lighten the tone. A scattering of self-effacing remarks to try and diffuse the bragging, “of course we didn’t expect Tarquinius to get so many A*s as he was only really expecting the predicted As”

Christmas entertainment at its finest.

YouOKHun · 14/12/2017 18:19

2bees that’s terrible, I’d be gutted too. Grin

Fruitbat1980 · 14/12/2017 18:23

I never get round robins, not even in the garden. Will someone please send me one?!

Hippee · 14/12/2017 18:53

I'd rather get them than a card that only has someone's name in it - especially if they aren't on Facebook - I have stopped sending cards to friends who only sign their names - all it tells me is that they are still alive.

Aeroflotgirl · 14/12/2017 18:54

Aghgh one of those, bah humbug op Grin

Hippee · 14/12/2017 18:55

P.S. I steal one from my MIL every year - it's my favourite - pages and pages about the sender, a paragraph each about the pets and children and a couple of lines about his wife - it's the highlight of my year.

Hippee · 14/12/2017 18:56

Judas - I would love that!!!

SylviaTietjens · 14/12/2017 20:23

I promise I will post ours on MN providing it arrives this year. I love that there are so many people who have no idea who the senders are. We’re moving house next year and I’ll really miss our wanky round robin letter.

kaitlinktm · 14/12/2017 20:37

@MararetCavendish

I'm sure your recipients like your letters, but I just don't understand why you'd want to continue a 'relationship' purely through unpersonalised letters sent once a year? Surely at that point you're not really friends?

I do consider them friends though, why would I not? I usually add a "personalised" handwritten few paragraphs to each one I send, but I couldn't possible write separate letters for everyone - it would take forever - and my news (if you can call it news) doesn't change for different recipients. I sometimes don't send one in a year if I know someone has been bereaved or through a very tough time though. In these cases I have usually heard from them during the year, and I just write a short note in the card.

I read that article and agree that completely unpersonalised bragging letters would be very irritating. I know mine aren't like that because I have nothing to brag about - I receive several RR letters and only one of them veers a little, occasionally, to the smug.

I still think most robins are good. Smile

GETTINGLIKEMYMOTHER · 14/12/2017 20:45

Dh gets one every year from a Canadian relative. Two A4 pages crammed with tiny-font waffle about people I've never met and don't want to, and every last detail about the 14 holidays she's been on this year.

Still, at least there's been nothing yet about 4 year old grandchildren passing grade 3 piano, or how much said grandchildren love reading Winnie the Pooh in Latin.

CitrusSun · 14/12/2017 20:50

They are great comedy value, haven’t received any this year, hugely disappointing

londonrach · 14/12/2017 20:56

I need new glasses...i read this as real robin! Yanbu by the way

CitrusSun · 14/12/2017 20:57

One of my favourites used to be from a woman I knew years ago when we were at the same school and we didn’t really stay in touch but she insisted on regaling me with the annual achievement list every Christmas and it was comedy cold along the lines of how many far flung holidays they’d had that year, pretty standard boasts, but what made it sublime was each trip was accompanied by details of which class they had travelled in - “The Gambia (world traveller plus) (smiley face), Mauritius (club class) (many smiley faces), South Africa (first class) (shitload of smiley faces)” How I miss those

ConkerGame · 14/12/2017 21:03

I love them! My mum gets a few and I look forward to reading!

Even worse than the smug ones is the one from this poor woman whose life always seems so miserable! Rather than "Jonny did so well in his a-levels" and "Sally passed her driving test", it's all "Jonny had a really bad cold in October, couldn't shift it for 3 weeks" and "Sally's exams didn't go so well so we're not sure whether they'll keep her on for sixth form" Confused poor kids' every knock back is recorded for everyone to "enjoy"! Although to be fair she also does herself down "as for me, nothing changes, year in, year out, still got a boring job and not been up to much socially but I'm still alive and that's something to be grateful for! Xmas Hmm

verystressedmum · 14/12/2017 21:07

I’ve never received a round robin but I’d quite like one!
Though why anyone has any bed nowadays to send them their whole lives are laid bare on Facebook I know it all

Pumpkintopf · 14/12/2017 21:10

@BeautifulLiar you properly made me laugh with that one!

pollydollymolly · 14/12/2017 21:22

I've never received one but I am actually interested in friends kids passing their GCSE's and people changing jobs etc.

chocolateavocado99 · 14/12/2017 21:28

My husband's relative sent out one a few years ago saying her ds ended his relationship with his long term partner and she was devastated. However, when he realised she was pregnant, he gave her another chance Shock. I always felt so terrible for that poor woman.

My dm gets a hilarious one from an extremely important ( in their eyes) American family she knew about 20 years ago. It is so braggy and cringeworthy.

santasleigh · 14/12/2017 21:50

Never heard of them...

papayasareyum · 14/12/2017 21:54

Omg gettinglikemymother, do we share the same Canadian relative? GrinShock

AJPTaylor · 14/12/2017 21:59

We had distant relatives who used to send one to us
It literally read.
Georgia got grade 8 piano this year, beating Williams record by 6 months at 13yrs and 2 months. Lily managed to gain grade 5 in flute and her efforts are much appreciated by the local care home where she plays on a Saturday afternoon. July saw the Smug family have a clean sweep at the village show where we won every class we entered. We were particularly proud of 4 year old Willows entry of a garden in a box which featured organic mushrooms with an elf she crafted out of salt dough.
New wheels all round with the Zafira being swapped for a new Galaxy. August was sad with Mum dying. September saw us in Portugal.

Honestly. It was fucking toe curling.

PrincessoftheSea · 14/12/2017 21:59

My parents receive some and I quite like reading them. My cousin sends one every year. I don't think they are particularly smug. Its like an update on whats happened in the last year and with photos. I also love seeing peoples holiday posts on facebook so appreciate I am in the minority. I take pleasure in reading about my friends and families and what they are up to.