Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2

Original poster

To expect kids to get themselves ready for school?

43 replies

chainedtothedesk · 14/12/2017 08:43

Aged 10 and 7. Wondering how much they should be able to do themselves without prompting. They need to remember to bring the same things everday (homework book, fruit, book bag)and do the same thing every day (dress, wash, eat breakfast and brush teeth). So why is it so hard to get them out the door without a fuss? Am I expecting too much for kids their ages?

OP posts:

loolabec · 14/12/2017 16:33

AIBU to have asked my mother in law not to bring her son over to look after my 6 and 3 year old with her today, when he only left rehab for heroin addiction 2 days ago? I would love him to come over, and he is invited for Christmas Day, but would have preferred to be there to see how he is for myself. I texted her to ask her not to bring him today, but she did anyway. He has been there all day, doing School pick up with her etc. The kids don’t know him that well and I didn’t particularly like how he was with them before. It’s a tricky one.. thanks for thoughts

DailyMailBestForBums · 14/12/2017 17:17

Mine are 11 (with ADHD) and 9. They get themselves dressed/groomed, breakfast, make their own packed lunch and out the door in 45 mins. We started off young with checklists and if they are not ready on time, they lose screen time as a consequence. Works a treat!

They need to be reminded every single day to brush their teeth though...

Yerroblemom1923 · 14/12/2017 17:27

Loo, think you may have mis posted onto a thread about getting kids ready in the morning and you meant to post your own aibu...

Mulberry72 · 14/12/2017 17:32

We get everything ready the night before, bag sorted etc.

We’re up then at 7am, DS knows he has to be dressed, teeth cleaned, tie on, hair done and eating breakfast before he’s allowed his phone. Works like a dream, he leaves the house at 8.35 in order to walk to school and arrive at 8.50. Never been late, ever.

Isadorabubble · 14/12/2017 22:18

I think it totally depends on the children. Some children are better at organising themselves than others and that’s not always to do with parenting, though of course that will play a part. I think it is important to have clear expectations and to give them responsibility and to work towards it in a way that suits your family.

TalkinBoutWhat · 14/12/2017 22:21

Mine are similar are, and they are complete PITAs. A list is definitely the way to go.

Also, just giving them a small part to manage on their own before you check on them. And focus on that part until it's done right.

So perhaps just the getting dressed part.

Also, are they sharing a room? Mine are MUCH worse when theyre in each others space.

FucksakeCuntingFuckingTwats · 14/12/2017 23:18

I literally do nothing for my almost 13 year old except notify her of the time every so often.

My eight year old I shout get dressed too before you come down. Or bring your clothes down depending if her breakfasts ready. But I do need to give her instructions like get dressed. Go get washed/do your teeth. Go get your bag, jacket and shoes. Do your hair. Get your snack etc. I do feel like a drill sergeant most mornings as I also have an almost five year old. But I can see the light now my eldest is ready herself, I know the others will get there too.

arethereanyleftatall · 14/12/2017 23:39

I think it doesn't just depend on the child, it depends on the parents too.
A friend of mine is super busy (her and her dh have high-up jobs and an hours commute), she doesn't have time to even check if her dc are getting ready. They just have to.
If theY forget something, that's their problem. They're 7&5. I think the eldest helps the littler.
It's all worked out pretty well for her though, her kids are great.

BackforGood · 14/12/2017 23:47

It's a nice dream, but there wouldn't be frazzled parents countrywide if it were a reality for most dc.

My favourite parenting years were the 4 yrs when I went to work at 7 in the morning and dh had the hassle that was getting the dc up and out . I got over an hour's work done in peace before others came in, and still started the day calm, relaxed, and happy

BouleBaker · 17/12/2017 21:17

I followed through on my 6 year old and took him to school in his pyjamas once. He still remembers the day he had to get dressed in the playground as the Best. Day. Ever. Not sure that helped.

BananaThePoet · 18/12/2017 11:57

I don't think an hour is long enough to do those things without feeling pressured and feeling pressured can make kids stall.

I would wake them up at 7 instead of 7.30 to give them a bit more time to 'come too' and maybe have some waking up music to play in the bedroom that gets them feeling more alert. I would also make sure they have a bright daylight bulb in their main bedroom light and switch it on during the dark mornings - that should perk them up a bit.

The other suggestions for lists etc are also great.

user1500124076 · 18/12/2017 12:09

DS is 11 and does everything himself, and has done for about 2 years or so. DH does his packed lunch most days as he gets up to drive him in anyway. I don't even get out of bed. But I'm giving birth in about a week so life is about to revert back to early starts and busy mornings. Ugh.

paxillin · 18/12/2017 12:11

I actually thought an hour is too long. It allows for faffing. We do the same program, but in half an hour. Wash, dress, teeth, pack fruit and books, 3 minutes max each, breakfast 15. Boots and coat a minute, out of the door.

Make them pack fruit and school stuff in the evening, also tell them to put their clothes out for the morning so there is no rummaging for socks and ties.

Lethaldrizzle · 18/12/2017 12:48

They'll be gone before you know it. Surely its just all part of the rich fabric of family life

BrizzleDrizzle · 18/12/2017 12:50

YANBU. We allow one TV programme if they have got their bag ready the night before and have got everything on except shoes. If they don't have anything ready then it's no TV that day or the next. It sometimes works.

user789653241 · 18/12/2017 12:52

My ds definitely need at least an hour, only because he is such a slow eater. Unless I sit next to him and supervise, he will still be eating a small bowl of cereal after 30 minutes. It's such a pita.
Everything else is fine though.

paxillin · 18/12/2017 13:23

A later wake up time (and correspondingly later bedtime) as a carrot worked wonders.

oneplusoneplustwo · 19/12/2017 08:31

I've got a 10yo and 7yo twins. I just lay their clothes out the night before and put their lunchboxes into the fridge and they do the rest.

They get woken up at 7.30am, make their own cereal, brush their teeth, get dressed and pack their lunchbox into their bag. I then just give them a 5 minute reminder to get their shoes and coat on and then they get themselves into the car for 8.30am.

They started doing this when they were 6 and needed lots of direction to begin with, but are now completely fine with it. Zero drama in the mornings.

Flip

1 2

Swipe left for the next trending thread