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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

AIBU for wanting to tell celebrity 'baby experts' to shut up

32 replies

Poppiesarered · 13/12/2017 20:32

Let me start with - I need to vent!

Last night, I was reading somewhere about another 'celebrity' (Binky Felsted) claiming his easy it is to have a baby, how scaremongering other mums were about the whole experience and how her 6 months old is doing so great and he was so easy peasy.

I'm a mum to a 3month old dd and my experience couldn't be more different. I feel like people don't talk with how HARD motherhood is. I have one if those 'demanding' babies, that need to be entertained all the time, that get hysterical in a car seat, in a pram and all sorts. I know I'm not the only one, I speak to other mums, they all say how it's a shock, how they don't shower and how they struggle to get a minute for themselves.

It pisses me off, that Binky Felsted who has loads of help, from family who live round the corner, from friends and from paid nannies, plus obviously an army of people looking after her so she always looks amazing from stylist, makeup artists, trainers to chefs. And she's claiming it's so easy being a mum.

Honestly I find it so frustrating that someone who lives of advertising products and services to a target audience of young wine and mums can be so clueless!

I'm not even jealous, after looking after my dd I'm so tired I can't feel anything apart from extreme exhaustion. I'm just shocked at what she said!

I decided to I follow her on any social media which to be fair, she's like a walking advertisement for brands. None of her posts are any anything else but just paid ads.

OP posts:

BarbarianMum · 13/12/2017 20:53

I'm sorry you are finding it difficult but it's hard for me to understand how you could say "people don't talk about how hard motherhood is". In my experience they talk about little else.

SureJan · 13/12/2017 21:13

I agree that she probably does find it easier than the average mum, with all the help she will have (although do we know she definitely does have nannies etc?). But I also agree with BarbarianMum that the general consensus seems to be that motherhood is hard, not easy.

Mrsknackered · 13/12/2017 21:19

Well little Miss perfect Binky had her baby induced a couple weeks early because 'her mum did with her' and it would make it all so much easier to plan.

Motherhood is hard but if she thinks she's aced it, let her crack on. I thought I had parenting mastered too, then I had my second and now I'm a sleep deprived cranky witch.

BlackeyedSusan · 13/12/2017 21:23

well let's hope she has a second...

oh and then there is toddlerhood...

BlackeyedSusan · 13/12/2017 21:23

well let's hope she has a second...

oh and then there is toddlerhood...

Elephant17 · 13/12/2017 21:28

I am very much not a fan of that woman! Each person's experience will vary so much due to so many factors! I do kind of get what she means about 'scaremongering' but it's obviously not really that, it's just that people tell stories and give advice based on their own experiences. I had a lot of 'wait until this happens! You won't have time for xyz' and I'd spend ages worrying about it... but then when it eventually got to that stage, I didn't even find it difficult... it was all the other stages I found difficult! And I felt gutted I'd stressed myself out worrying about something for ages that I needn't have worried about, when I already had a million and one other real things to feel stressed about!

The first few months were hellish for me too I've found 6 months onwards much more manageable and rewarding, hopefully you'll find this too!

BusterTheBulldog · 13/12/2017 21:33

I don’t get the trend for minor celeb guides to motherhood AT ALL. What gives them a more informed opinion? Especially the likes of Fearne from towie.

But I do agree that everyone constantly says how hard / awful it is. I have literally never heard anyone say it’s easy.

oliveinacampervan · 13/12/2017 21:34

YANBU. I used to get pissed off with Myleene (I am the only woman to ever have a baby dontcha know') Klass! And now, the person who pisses me off is Giovanna Fletcher. (Tom from McFly's wife.) Can't STAND the sanctimonious smug cow. She thinks she knows everything about babies and children, and no-one knows as much as her.

She has also written a few books, and says 'if you work hard and are determined like me, YOU can be an author too.'

Fuck off you annoying twat. You are only famous, and an 'author' because you are married to a famous musician!'

Urgh, I fucking HATE people who are famous only because they are related to someone famous!

JennyBlueWren · 13/12/2017 22:04

YANBU

But it's easier for them to say such things at 6 months when maybe the baby has started entertaining themselves for 10 seconds than it is at 3 months when you are the entertainment machine. I remember 3 months as being particularly hard as he wanted to be awake and entertained but couldn't do it himself. (Would he even have been sitting then?? I remember him wanting to sit but not able to so I had to hold him sitting up and then play with a toy for him... URGH!)

backaftera2yearbreak · 13/12/2017 22:08

Don’t take advice from anyone called binky. Kind of a name is that?

WorraLiberty · 13/12/2017 22:13

I know how hard it can be OP as my DS1 was a nightmare

But my DS2 was so easy, it was ridiculous.

This Binky person has every right to tell people she finds motherhood easy, if that's her experience.

Just as you have the right to tell people it's not particularly easy at the moment for you

funnyfoursome · 13/12/2017 22:18

YANBU. It is so different if you have family nearby, just someone to pop in and give you half an hour to shower/ take a nap etc. As for having a nanny - whole different experience. And a stylist?!!!
And like you say some babies are easy some are hard - I had 1 of each and it was a different ball game. She is just painting an image. I hope you have a few friends you can be honest with x

PinkHeart5914 · 13/12/2017 22:19

Some people find it hard and that’s fair enough but lol at not being able to talk about in my experience of baby groups etc that is all some talk about how difficult they find it and god forbid anyone that says different you are clearly a liar.

This lady can tell the world it’s easy if that’s her experience, I’ve not found it difficult as such either and I’ve got 2 dc just 11 months apart, we are all different & all babies are different.

BoucleJacket · 13/12/2017 22:25

I'm always irritated by this obsession with so called "celebrity" baby/fitness/cookery/ books.

Mostly because:-

A) If I had wanted to know how to do any of the above I'd have consulted a book written by an actual expert who had trained and worked in child development/cookery/fitness training.

and

B) I've never heard of most of these "celebrities"

Dusclaimer: My kids are grown up and we didn't have celebrity baby books back then, my cookery training was from school/my mum/Marguerite Patton and I don't do fitness.

BoucleJacket · 13/12/2017 22:26

Disclaimer ffs.

movpov · 13/12/2017 22:29

Who is Binky Felsted?

Queenofthedrivensnow · 13/12/2017 22:29

Yabu to take notice of someone who self identifies as 'binky'

Emerald92 · 13/12/2017 22:39

My DD is 16mo and I'm still struggling. She's in nursery full time and I have an amazing fiance and I still struggle. It's hard for a lot of women. My labour was a piece of piss, doesn't mean anyone else's was easy. The varieties and quanity of guilt that come with motherhood suck

Weezol · 13/12/2017 22:56

backaftera Yup. Any grown woman happy to be called 'Binky' is not someone I have any time for.

ILoveMillhousesDad · 13/12/2017 23:02

I'm not sure how the hell wimmen coped with having baybeez before mylene klass and holly Willoughby wrote their books.

THANK GOD FOR celebrity mums. They keep the world turning 🤔

Palegreenstars · 13/12/2017 23:05

It seems pretty common to talk about the hard parts of motherhood.

I had an easy birth and so far parenting has been easy. I try and talk about it as hopefully it gives people a bit of hope that, it is possible (through luck).

The rest of my non parenting life is a hot mess though, so don’t worry.

I enjoy her Instagram and I don’t think she makes it all seem easy

stayhomeclub · 13/12/2017 23:06

I guess it’s a bit like a lot of blogger types too. These women are not friends, they’re out to sell a lifestyle.

misskelly · 13/12/2017 23:14

I actually follow Binky and her sister on Instagram and both have babies of a similar age. Interesting, Binky seems to have an easy going baby who sleeps well, her sister seems to be having a very different experience.

The point is, celebrity or not, if your first baby doesn’t cry much, sleeps well and has no health issues it’s easy to be smug and not realise how bloody horrendous it can be. Having the opposite kind of baby and struggling with chronic sleep deprivation and the stress caused by worry that there is something wrong with your baby or you’re not a good enough mother because you are finding it hard takes its toll on you.

sheepskinrug · 14/12/2017 00:15

people don't talk about how hard motherhood is

Actually, all I ever hear from mothers is how hard it is! I find it refreshing to hear from mothers who find it easier as it shows that it's not all doom and gloom and there's a tiny chance I might get a good'un!

I also think we're all different and deal with things differently. For example, I'm terrible with stress so couldn't have a stressful job but some find it a walk in the park. I don't resent them for finding it easier though.

That said, I can totally understand how it could wind you up when you having a tough day year.

sheepskinrug · 14/12/2017 00:17

if your first baby doesn’t cry much, sleeps well and has no health issues it’s easy to be smug and not realise how bloody horrendous it can be

So true, misskelly. I guess it's hard for those mothers to know what to say when asked how they're getting on. Should they lie and say "it's terrible, I'm exhausted, it's SO hard" or be honest and risk coming across smug?

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