To feel really old at work

[NotMondayAgain]

Ok so I am probably having a mid life crisis. I'm about to hit the big 4-0. I'm very happy with my life, I have a lovely DH and DCs.

The problem is every time I go to work I'm reminded that everyone is younger than me. They are mostly early to mid twenties, a few in their late 20s, very driven, not slightly fazed and bored with it all like me.

I tend to get excluded from certain conversations e.g. where they are going at the weekend, bloggers, bloggers and lots of other things that to be honest I don't really understand or am that bothered about.

However as I don't just want to be on the outside I try to join in. They are usually either surprised that I have any opinion on the subject, ignore me or worst of all do the patronising fake laugh.

Today one of them said that they are getting 'so old' cos they are 30 in a few months which made me 😲

Is this just my mid life crisis playing tricks on me?

I can't offered much advice but I do know exactly what this feels like! I try to surround myself with lots of friends outside of work who I do have more in common with. In my previous position, although I was one of the older ones (late 30s at the time), I ended up making lifelong friends with my colleagues as we eventually just gelled on certain things (probably also because I was older I could offer mentoring and advice for my younger colleagues and it felt good to be able to help).

I would keep trying, but you don't have to just talk about what they want to talk about. Chat about something you like and see if you can make a connection. If not, surround yourself with lovely people at home and socially and just mark it down as one of those things!

I turned 40 this year, and after dreading it for so long it hasn't turned out so bad. I actually feel a bit more confident since hitting 40 for some unknown reason.

Good luck!

I know what you mean OP. When I started in the workforce, I imagined i would simply carry on until retirement age, as would all of my contemporaries.

Now, I look around and feel like the last woman standing. Where did everyone else go? How are they affording not to work? What am I missing?

I'm 26 and feel this way :/ I'm working part time now to fit around childcare evenings and weekends. There are very few staff over 20. It is rubbish sometimes like for example the Christmas night out I won't be going because a nightclub with a load of 18 year olds isn't my thing. Work place conversation often centres around who shagged who and how many pills they had on Thursday night.
My only advice is build a strong social circle out of work and keep yourself busy while you are there. It's miserable at times but needs must!

I'm the oldest in my team it when we chat about life outside work, I sometimes feel like the youngest! Most of them are at the baby/toddler stage and I'm 40 and out most weekends. Definitely makes me feel quite young again!

I did feel ancient the other day though when one of the girls asked if I wanted a cuppa. "I'll have a T please Bob" I said. She had no idea what I was on about as she'd never heard of Blockbusters, not even when it came back with Simon Mayo I then remembered she'd just turned 23...

I am 59. I am a freelance & older then my 3 males bosses, although I look younger. I don't have a problem, neither do they.

i am in my mid-twenties and I am great friends at work with someone in their mid-forties... she has daughters a similar age gap as me and my sister and we bond over a lot of that stuff. We chat about fashion and she asks my advice and she fills me in on all the gossip. We both love food and talk endlessly about that and pop out for nice coffees together. It really just depends on the person. Don't let a chip in your shoulder get in the way of getting on with them!

It's all relative, honestly. I was once the oldest person in the office, two years older than my boss even, once got referred to as the 'office grandma'....at the ripe old age of 28. I'm now early 30s and in a place where there's a couple of people aged 22-25 and everyone else is 45+. I'm referred to as a 'youngster' quite often.

I've got no idea where all the late 20s and 30s people have gone but at least I feel young.

I’m 30 years older than most of my colleagues but they are paid more than me. To be honest I’m less bothered about the social thing than seeing them mess up things that I could do better. Looking forward to retirement!

Wait till you're 60, its a different world!

MrsJ
Tea Bob

I'm 42 and most of my colleagues are in their early 20s so I know exactly what you mean.

I also want to know where all the women in their 40s,50s and 60s went.

I remember a young woman I worked with several years ago was in absolute shock over my age (well she was feigning shock anyway 🙄) 'what's it like?' She would say. 'Omg just the number sounds scary!' And the hilarious 'I'm already scared of my next birthday I can't imagine getting old'

She was 22 and I was 26. I kid you not.

I see her sometimes and smile to myself. She's 28 now. She must be beside herself with fear over the impending 30.

I think young people are more scared of getting old than the rest of us put together. I also think the reason they try to make people feel old actually comes from that place of fear. When they use their youth as power it temporarily reassures them.

In fact I think quite a bit of ageism in general is probably rooted in the fear of getting old (and the eventual and inevitable death that comes with it.)

This woman also said she can't imagine dying and hates the thought that if/when she does die (I think she meant prematurely) everyone in the world just carries on living their lives like she never existed. Yep, the world doesn't stop!

It happens to literally every human.... if you're lucky.

I remember when I first started here, I was the youngest at 22. I was called 'the wee yin'.

Now I'm 30. Obviously as time has passed, a lot of my older colleagues have retired, and we have recruited a load of new apprentices and newly qualified tradespeople.

I'm now the mum of the group. They come to me for painkillers, sanitary items, food, home and work advice, hangover sympathy and stationery.

I don't know when I changed from being one of the young ones, to being the mum, but I don't mind :) it's quite nice to look after people.

I'm over 60, the oldest in a diverse team and haven't experienced any problems or found it a "different world" at all.

I'm in my 20s and I'd rather not talk about clubbing and bloggers. Sounds very boring and I don't think that's necessarily an age issue, just different interests.