Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Considering not turning up for meeting, what would happen?

76 replies

SMJYellow · 13/12/2017 16:33

My current 'work' situation is a bit of a mess.

I 'work' for a neighbour. I was taken on as a childminder. One of their children has a disability and she eventually discovered about the carers benefit and looked into things. Basically she worked her way out from paying me a way, getting the benefit as an income for me.

I was happy for a long time but down through the years so much was chopped and changed. So much more jobs left on me with requests to do the laundry and cook the meals. Sometimes the hours were just absolutely and utterly insane and just quite simply not even finishing for days on end.

I was looking for work for the past while but no luck and I hope to resume in the new year.

A situation came about earlier in the year where the youngest child was diagnosed on the ASD spectrum. Are you following me so far? So they have two children now with disabilities.

Anyways the mother filled out a new carers form with my name and details for the youngest child. Got me to sign it and she sent it in. So it's for an additional carers payment.

What I read on the form made me sick to my stomach. She claimed that I was minding this child for 48 hours a week. Which is not true at all. The child goes to crèche 5 mornings a week and then there are alternative arrangements for after her morning crèche.

I felt pressurised in signing the form.

I forgot things really for a while. I just got on with it. There was no progress by the department at fulfilling the claim. Things are slow where I am in Ireland.

So anyways I called for a meeting with an inspector and to be honest it fills me with pure sickness and dread.

I don't want to lie but my neighbours are pushing me in this direction but this will be fraud as far as I can see because I'm not caring for the child for the amount of hours stated.

Everything is above board with the original set up and carers allowance and older child.

I'm thinking about cancelling but would anyone know what the department would do I was to cancel meeting. Would they cut off the original carers allowance. I got the carers payment as usual this week and I need it to come in as usual too for next week for the Christmas.

OP posts:
ragged · 13/12/2017 18:51

It will become worse if you don't turn up.

ragged · 13/12/2017 18:51

We all make bad decisions, sometimes. Now you're on to damage limitation.

Knittedfairies · 13/12/2017 18:57

As I understand it (my apologies if I've got this wrong) everything with Child1 is straight and above board. Additional benefits for Child2 have been applied for but not yet processed or granted. You have to go to the meeting and tell the truth, despite what your employer says. If anyone is ever paid any benefit they are not entitled to, It has to be re-paid. Do not get yourself in this situation!

JennyOnAPlate · 13/12/2017 18:59

You have to tell them the truth op. If you lie and get found out you could end up in serious trouble.

ragged · 13/12/2017 19:03

A lie could be far worse than the truth.

Original poster
SMJYellow · 13/12/2017 19:05

God, I have no idea what to do.

I want to go in and be honest and say the child is attending two creches.

The neighbour has now stressed to me not to mention anything about the afternoon crèche.

Like what the holy f#ck?

I have a feeling I won't sleep a wink at all, all night and I'll be up sick.

OP posts:
Original poster
SMJYellow · 13/12/2017 19:10

Than you so very much knitted fairies. You hit the nail in the head with your summary of the situation.

Thank you 1000 times over. I will go to the meeting. The parents want me to lie and say the second child is at home with me every day but I will mention the two crèches to the inspector.

Would it be a good idea (or a bad one to say the parents want me to lie)

OP posts:
curryforbreakfast · 13/12/2017 19:11

being a carer is not a job, you are not employed. Carers allowance is not a wage. It can't be treated as such.
it is for actually caring for people, for full time care and supervision only and is usually for family members. I am very surprised this unusual arrangement has not been investigated already.
Who is getting the DCA? Who is claiming the CSG every June?

ragged · 13/12/2017 19:13

You are NOT obliged to lie for them. No way. You can cop to screwing up by going along with their lie but don't make it all worse by colluding with them. Just stick with your lines about what you did and the limits of what what you know.

youarenotkiddingme · 13/12/2017 19:20

Just tell the truth.

I am carer for child 1 - I do x y and z for them daily for this number of hours.

For child 2 I do xxxxxx.

I am the carer for them and provide this service.

Don’t say anything about what parents have written or that they are encouraging you to claim fraudulently. Just state what you do as their carer.

Original poster
SMJYellow · 13/12/2017 19:24

Thank youyou'renotkiddingme.

OP posts:
PoorYorick · 13/12/2017 19:26

Go, tell the truth about what you do and the service you provide.

Bubblebubblepop · 13/12/2017 19:30

This Is hard to understand but I know the benefits system in Ireland is generally fairly generous- but why would she pay for crèche and get your time paid for too? Why not justs get you go do the care and save the crèche money?

Sugarpiehoneyeye · 13/12/2017 19:32

If you tell the truth OP, you'll be fine.
If you lie, all hell will break loose, further down the line.

roomsonfire · 13/12/2017 19:32

I was under the impression, OP, that one person could ONLY claim carers allowance once. So you could claim carers allowance for child one bit not for child two and their mobility/care payments that the parents get SHOULD go towards hiring extra support if you need it to care for them both.

I suspect they are wondering WHY you are claiming twice.

Go to the meeting. be honest about everything you do.

If they ask why you signed the form be honest you were pressured into signing it.

Original poster
SMJYellow · 13/12/2017 19:42

Thanks for the replies, I will go to the meeting and be honest and say that the child is now attending a special crèche since the form was sent in.

OP posts:
Knittedfairies · 13/12/2017 19:43

When is the meeting? Let us know how you get on.

ringle · 13/12/2017 19:56

Will the employer/neighbour be at the meeting?

Original poster
SMJYellow · 13/12/2017 20:01

No she won't be there. Its only me called because it is my name on the form.

OP posts:
Nofunkingworriesmate · 13/12/2017 20:03

I have no clue what the heck is going on, I have read the thread but can make no sense of it
What have you gone wrong?
It sounds like you are being over worked and your employers are taking massive advantage if you but you are being over paid by the government and are working less hours then the government are are paying you. The government hav found out ( how??) are have called you into a meeting ?????

Regressionconfession · 13/12/2017 20:08

SMJYellow you sound like you're being taken advantage. There was another poster on here a while back in a similar situation re receiving a carers allowance in lieu of a wage .. it might be worth searching for it.

Good luck with the meeting and job hunt!

lorelairoryemily · 13/12/2017 20:11

@SMJYellow I'm in Ireland too. I'd guess if you don't turn up they will suspend your payments, I know you've said you're going so that's not an issue now. I'd be as honest as you can, tell them exactly what hours you're doing and that you allowed the mother to fill out the forms on your behalf and the situation has changed since they were sent off. I'd imagine they might stop payments until they've fully investigated though. Probably not what you want to hear

unfortunateevents · 13/12/2017 20:14

Well, I have to say I have no idea what is going on here. I am Irish but it's a long time since I lived in Ireland so I am unfamiliar with the benefits available there. However, from a quick Google it seems that there is either carer's benefit or carer's allowance. You talk about benefit but that seems to apply to people who leave the workforce to look after someone and is for a specific period of time so if this has been going on for years I don't think that is what is referred to - anyway, it doesn't sound as if you would qualify if you weren't already working. Carer's allowance seems more likely in this case but that is means tested and would have had to be applied for by the parent of the child. I don't know how the application for the first child has been made (if in the parents' name there is probably nothing to stop them from using that allowance to pay you to look after their child) but if the application for the second child has your name on it, as you say, then the whole application is fraudulent! I don't care where you live in Ireland, things cannot be so bad that you have been unable to find ANY other work than this in seemingly years. You may think that you can't be without income but if you don't attend this meeting and tell the absolute truth, you will be without income and with a criminal record as well!

Regressionconfession · 13/12/2017 20:20

I just searched and realised the thread I'd read was you back in September. They are exploiting you and it sounds akin to modern day slavery. This just sounds like the latest in a long list of issues. They do not have your best interests at heart.

Am I right in thinking you get £60 per week to look after three children for up to 12 hours a day?

Sara107 · 13/12/2017 21:22

You are a carer, not an employee and as I understand it the carers allowance is paid directly to you. Therefore the parents can't sack you, they would have to apply to get the allowance paid to somebody else if they want to dispense with you. I suspect that they have gone down this route rather than employing you as it benefits them financially - for the hours you do how does the money compare to the going rate for a nanny? Anyway, as they can't sack you, and would probably be really inconvenienced if you quit, try not to worry too much about losing your income. But definitely tell the inspector the truth - you could say that the parents have changed their plans since filling in the forms and decided that extra crèche is better for the child, and therefore you now only do x hours with child 2, not the y hours claimed on the form.

Swipe left for the next trending thread