To think that if you smoke, you should try not to make other people's clothes smell too?

[Leah35]

Shared office of four people, one colleague smokes. She comes back in after lunch and hangs her coat up with everybody else's which leaves the smoke smell on other people's clothing. I understand that the smell is going to be in the room because she comes back in immediately after smoking but hanging her coat up and making everyone else's coats stink is a bit much imo.

Any advice on how to handle this? Colleague is difficult at the best of times (has had to be disciplined a couple of times for standard of work and work ethic) so may not take kindly to anything being said to her about this.

(have nc'd as not sure if colleagues are on here)

@RubMyRhubarb - two different explanations, not one. One son gets into a car the driver smokes in, albeit bit while son is in the car. Presumably, the seats etc reek. Son is in direct contact with smokey seats resulting in his clothes smelling of smoke.

In the second scenario, according to you, it is more likely that my OTHER son, who is dropped off at the door to the classroom, is watched as he walks in to the room that already has the tutor and a number of students in it, and is watched coming out of the room an hour and half later, somehow or other manages to sneak a fag in that time, and does this every week but never seems to smoke at any other time!

Thanks again for the helpful replies. There's always some rude people who feel the need to chuck their two pence in which is a shame!

I don't think my colleague is trying to be difficult or annoying about this, but she's a tricky person to handle because of previous disciplinary issues.

I can assure anyone doubting this that the smell does transfer between clothes and it is horrible. I say this as an ex smoker btw.

@Leah

Well, you did post it in AIBU, and smoking threads (as pointed out by me and others) always go this way. Non smokers make claims which seem quite unlikely, or exaggerated, smokers call BS. There are some here who agree with you, there are some, including non smokers who don't. You'll go with the people who agree with you, those who don't will usually dismiss it as nonsense.

I don't know if you're referring to me when you say "rude" people but just in case you are, I don't see where I've been rude, other than in response to someone who was rude to me first (But I didn't start it, mum!)

Anyway, something like this isn't going to get resolved on MN. Or online at all. Maybe not even in a face to face conversation with people you have to deal with in real life. There have been a few examples brought up where it is noted that non smoking MNetters make particularly weird claims about smokers.

Nobody would ever deny that smoking stinks, and is an all-round crap thing to be doing - I certainly haven't denied either of those things.
If you feel any of my posts are out of order, I encourage you to report them but I'm confident they are all well within the rules.

I wish you the best of luck resolving what you see as an issue, even though I still doubt things are quite the way you portray them.

@Leah35 - apologies for that. I should have ignored but found it difficult to ignore being effectively told I'm either delusional or a liar.

Best of luck with your co-worker. Would it be possible to ask management to put in a second set of coat hooks so that the rest of you could use the one she doesn't use?

I should have ignored but found it difficult to ignore being effectively told I'm either delusional or a liar

Oh, of course! Because as a non smoker you are automatically superior to me in every conceivable capacity.

I didn't call you either of those things, explicitly or implicitly. All I did was challenge your explanation as to why your sonS (mustn't forget you have two) smell of cigarette smoke. You seem to be having trouble grasping this concept. At no point did I challenge that you can smell this smoke, at no point did I say you were deluded. Your explanation is implausible, so I offered you two others, both of which are far more credible than yours. Be as butthurt as you like - your explanation lacks credibility.

Thanks for the lecture @RubMyRhubarb. Doesn't bother me if you believe me or not tbh.

@theymademejoin thanks, yes that may be the way to go.

Btw, I didn't start a thread looking for an echo chamber. I also didn't say anything that warranted sarky comments, aggression and rudeness (especially to other people commenting). I am fully aware this is AIBU before anyone points that out! I just don't think rudeness for the sake of it is necessary anywhere.

Delusional in believing the smell came from a third party, rather than delusional in believing the smell existed.

Anyway, I've had enough of this. Good luck op. Hope you get it sorted.

I'm off to deal with something much worse than cigarette smoke - one of the dogs has just rolled in fox poo!

@theymademejoin ooh good luck with that! Many a time I've gone running across a field screaming 'noooooooo!' after one of my dogs currently rolling in that! Awful smell!

DH knows when I've visited my mum that day. Even though she doesn't smoke in the same room as me I somehow pick up the smell and take it home on me.

I can also tell when certain friends of DD's visit because you can smell the stale smoke odour wafting through from the girl's bedroom. And sorry to disappoint certain posters but no, they don't smoke. They're 11 year old little girls. One child's parents don't smoke indoors either so if smells can't transfer, particularly enough to be noticed by someone else then explain that please. I'd love to know. Both girls smell very strongly sometimes even though only one lives in a smokey house. And after sleepovers, the beds need changing or it can be smelled for a couple of days afterwards.

OP, I would move her coat away every time. You don't need to make a fuss, just move the coat to another peg so it's not touching (though it doesn't need physical contact to transfer). If she says anything just say you are very sensitive to smoke smells and it's getting on your coat. Some smokers can be very defensive and take offence but she's the one causing the issue.

God I miss smoking!

I agree, you can smell smoke several days later when a smoker visits. Years ago for work, I had to open up envelopes and take out forms that had come in the post and I could always pick the ones who had been filled in by smokers. These envelopes had been in the post several days.

The smells do transfer to other clothes and it can be very noticeable to non smokers. Dss's mum smokes in her house and when Dss's has hung his coat up with ours it's made the coats next to it absolutely stink of smoke to the point that I have to wash them once he's gone home.

Op I'd stop hanging my coat on the coat rack and have it on the back of my chair.

Smoking isn't illegal but that doesn't mean I want my coat to stink of someone else's cigarette smoke.

I think its psycosomatic...you know the person somkes so you know they smell.....Dont get me wrong i can sniff out a smoker very well but the transfering of smells being described here is ridiculous! As for smelling smoke from a moving car with the windows closed... whats your next joke? Smokers have been forced out side and generally have to stand quite far away in all conditions (their choice im not denying that) but this is petty and totally UR. Shes not stood over you blowing smoke in your face, move your coat if its annoying you. Its your problem not hers.

YANBU. Send the filthy drug addict the dry cleaning bill

YANBU - I have a friend that smokes. When she comes to visit the sofa stinks where she's been sat from her coat. It's rank. Anyone who doesn't believe this must be a smoker themselves or have a shit sense of smell.

Oh and deliberately moving her property (if done repetedly) can be seen as harassment and discrimination.
Picking someones coat up off the floor = friendly gesture.
Repeatedly moving someones property to a different location because you dont like it (for what ever reason) = passive aggressive nastyness/bullying/discrimination.

I'm an ex smoker, not an anti smoker (still quite like a fag on my annual night out) but ... you smokers that think you don't stink and people can't smell when you have been in their car or house the next day, are deluded!! You honk I'm afraid 😝

When I go to work, I can tell if my smoker colleague has arrived before me from just walking into the lift. Smoke smell lingers and anyone who says it doesn't is bonkers.

YABVU OP. If your colleagues are also joining in with your silly behaviour then you are all at risk of HR action against you for ostracising your colleague. I know some will react badly to this fact, but I saw it happen in a previous workplace (although the smell supposedly offending the delicate nostrils of the poor victims was not cigarette smoke in that case. However same principle applies here). Be careful you don't get accused of workplace bullying.