To not be coping with wait for BRCA results?

[HannahGlasgowGal]

Not sure if this is the right place but posting here for traffic. Name changed just in case I can be identified

My mum has been fighting breast cancer this year and has tested positive for a BRCA2 defect. I had my genetic counselling appointment last week and I'm now waiting for my results.

I honestly don't know how to cope with this. I'm only 25, I shouldn't have to deal with this. The geneticist said that if I wanted I could choose not to know the result and get the extra screening anyway. At times I wonder if that would be better than dealing with the results. I'm in a very weird place right now. In minimum wage employment 6 months after graduating uni,and my mental health isn't great anyway. But then I might test negative and be worrying for no reason (it's a 50/50 chance). Its also affecting my relationship to my body. My boyfriend tried to initiate sex but the minute he touched my boobs I winced. I've always liked them and they've made me feel sexy, but now they just feel like these big ticking time bombs. The risk of ovarian cancer doesn't even bear thinking about since it's so much harder to diagnose and treat.

I was in this exact situation in 2003, i was 33 at the time... I remember how difficult it was. I convinced myself I was BRCA2 negative during the wait. When I was told it was positive I was utterly shocked and very upset. I had the same feelings of not wanting to be touched etc too. All I can say is hang in there, talk to as many people (experts, doctors, support group) as you can.

I did come to terms with it and now it doesn't bother me at all and I barely think about it. I had preventive surgery in 2007 after much agonising and it's such a relief to know that my risk has been drastically reduced. I'm much happier with myself physically than all those years ago (the surgery was beautifully done with fabulous cosmetic results but not on NHS, at my own cost) and I am so, so glad I acted to reduce my risk.

Do lean on any and all support networks that you can, really seek out info, it did help me make informed decisions. Wishing you good luck and really hope your mum makes a full recovery.