I have a 3yo & 1yo, both boys full of energy. 7am it's normal for them to be running around after each other screaming for the fun of it. I should be able to cope but I can't. They both do one day at nursery, my mom comes down twice a week for about 4hrs so I can do the shopping and errands and there's just the one day i have them both on my own all day. My husband helps with mornings and bath time and on the weekends.
Yet I can't cope with it all. I'm exhausted all the time I just want to stay in bed. I'm a rubbish mom, I shout all the time, ones teething the other is being stubborn and defiant both leading to them standing at my feet screaming at me. It's unusual for them both to sleep through, probably 10 times since LO was born and before that my eldest was getting me up at 5am every day. DH does get up with them too and as I've been so worn out he's got up with LO last few days at 5am. But I still feel like I'm drained. It's like no amount of sleep will get me back to that point where I don't feel exhausted. Which doesn't help with my parenting. And they aren't bad kids either they just have their moments. I've just started counselling because I'm struggling with anxiety and feeling like such a failure. People always say oh it's hard on your own all day then I explain the help I get and I can see them thinking well why can't you handle it then. It's not even 9am and I feel defeated