Last night I went to an event related to my profession and was asked at the last minute to join (people I know) for a fancy VIP dinner (i think a few hadn't turned up and there were spare spaces) and I ended up sitting next to someone Very Important...and I worry that I bored him. A bit. I thought I was charming and witty in my conversation but he left a bit early. Don't get me wrong, it was a lovely evening and all went well, but instead of coming away happy and excited that I had such a stroke of luck, I am forensically going over things I said and mentally kicking myself for talking about myself too much or saying the wrong things. I didn't do THAT bad, no faux pas, and I know it but I just have a vague feeling of wistful regret that I could have done better. I want to turn it around in my mind and have great memories of the evening, I could easily look at it from a glass-half-full perspective. It's just some self-imposed anxiety!
I don't get out much and I am attending these events to push myself to become more involved and social. I find social events stressful but usually enjoy them when I get there and get a lot out of them... but left to my own devices I'd be home every night, then look back and regret not taking the opportunity to get out there and participate.
Also I'm recently (happily) separated from DH who used to relentlessly criticise me and my 'deficiencies', he knew I was anxious about how I came across in public and used to make it worse by pointing out things afterwards.
Just will someone tell me that... while he may have been a bit bored and disappointed at not sitting next to someone as VIP as himself, I didn't TOTALLY RUIN EVERYTHING and I actually did OK ...especially as i hadn't planned on being there in the first place! And a timely reminder to myself that I can handle myself in social situations 