TO want to spend Christmas Day with my immediate family?

[Renfrewshire]

The past 3 years we have spent Xmas day at my DH's parent's house. (Last year 1st one as married couple.)

We usually go to my parents house for Xmas eve, then stay over and leave after breakfast to go to PILs.

This year I want to have Xmas day and the meal (which we have at lunchtime) with my parents and family. DH doesn't want to miss his family meal. If I want to have Xmas with my family I will have to go on my own.

AIBU to want to go to my parents (and to want him to come with me)?

Eh no YANBU. You're married. You're supposed to take it in turns. I'd rather go to my family every Christmas but I take it turn about with DH (who would rather always go to his family). No way would DH and I be without one another though.

YANBU but is it a bit late?

I mean will your inlaws have planned for you both yet?

Worra we have a bit of time as PIL are waiting for BIL to confirm his working times this weekend (long story). Both families do stacks of food and haven't bought everything yet so we would not be causing upheaval in that respect.

YANBU. Can you tell him that you now need to take turns?

Ahh I see.

I think if I were your MIL, I'd be telling my son he needs to spend Xmas day with your family then.

Another thought (if you have the room) might be to host both sets of parents next year?

Yes you are not being unreasonable- so long as your dp can spend Christmas with his immediate family too!

but he does Bertrand, every year? So you think they should split up?

Time to take turns, he's being selfish trying to have every Christmas with his parents.

God Christmas politics.

No it’s his turn to go to your folks. He has to accept that he’s part of two families now.

We tell our kids to do what suits them. They are welcome to come to ours and equally fine for them to please themselves.

It’s a frigging posh Sunday lunch. One day. It’s riducukoys that people get so hung up in it.

One year we are secretly hoping they are all busy and it’s just me dh. And the dogs grin]

YANBU. It should be taking turns year on year.

I hadn't thought of that Worra. It would be a squeeze but probably doable for 1 or 2 nights.

We don't go anywhere , first year we lived together I did the dinner in our own house just us the second year we went to my parents because my mother claimed my brothers missed me the previous year. It was against what I wanted so we never did it again . Start your own traditions , think ahead to if you have children