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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To send DP back home in the snow to turn off the Christmas tree lights

66 replies

HugePotatoes · 12/12/2017 18:59

I get very nervous about things being left on at home, always have to check the iron/oven/tumble dryer etc.

This morning I got up and realised DP had left the xmas tree lights on all night. This pisses me off because who doesn't check lights etc if they are the last one to bed? I told him this and he apologised.

Fast forward to this evening, I meet him in a pub for food a 5 min walk from home. Really snowy and icy here.

I nip to the loo, then when I return he announces he's remembered he left the tree lights on again! I think he was hoping I'd tell him not to worry and relieve his guilt.

AIBU to have sent him home to switch them off, instead of trying to ignore the nagging thought of a tree induced house fire through my meal out?

He didn't complain, but thinks IABU to worry about these things. Am I?

OP posts:

PussCatTheGoldfish · 12/12/2017 19:39

Yanbu. We never leave them on when we are out.

A house in my hometown burnt down due to faulty tree lights (pre LED), the whole family was wiped out, it was horrific.

SeaToSki · 12/12/2017 19:41

If you use a smart switch you can turn them on and off from your phone

LazyDailyMailJournos · 12/12/2017 19:43

But remember that life is full of risk that we don't think about; crossing the road, driving a car, eating off our less than sterile work surfaces (more germs on office teabags than on your toilet seat, etc.

Yes but you can choose to reduce or mitigate some of those risks. You can check the road is clear before you step out into it. You can drive defensively, without speeding and making sure you watch the road, other traffic and for developing risks etc.

Having fairy lights on the tree is not a finite choice of universally accepting a fire risk. You can do what many people do (including me), which is to have tree lights but not leave them on when you go to sleep or the property is unattended.

caoraich · 12/12/2017 19:45

YANBU
As a child my house burned down due to a string of fairy lights (1990s pre-LED) malfunctioning and the plug going on fire. It was in the summer but they were on a yucca tree thing. Thankfully we were all out in the garden, but due to living relatively rurally it took a bit of time for the fire brigade to get there and by then the entire ground floor was gutted. There are no baby photos of me
Get him to pop home.

dudsville · 12/12/2017 19:45

This would have worried me too. I have dogs and worry about anything that could lead to a painful end for them.

Dollius01 · 12/12/2017 20:01

I also know someone whose house burnt down as a result of faulty Christmas tree lights. Whole house - one of those massive ones in Edinburgh - was totally destroyed. It's frighteningly common.

Caroian · 12/12/2017 20:06

If you are paranoid about leaving things on then you could do with getting Hive (or Nest or similar) installed. We have important things plugged in to Hive plugs (hot hair stylers, fairy lights etc) which means not only can you set a timer for them, but you can also turn them off from your mobile phone if you leave home and think you may have forgotten.

lucy101101 · 12/12/2017 20:15

I am paranoid about this but also have read of at least one very sad case where faulty fairy lights ended up electrocuting a little girl - they had electrified the radiator and she stood on it. We only have battery ones...

BrizzleDrizzle · 12/12/2017 20:18

YABNBU, fairy lights and tree lights are not meant to be left on.

Latenightreader · 12/12/2017 20:23

Another vote for completely reasonable. I knew someone whose tree went up while they were in the room. After a few seconds it became clear they couldn't tackle it, she and her husband just had time to run upstairs and grab a child each. They lost everything. Even with LEDs I wouldn't risk it.

Chrys2017 · 12/12/2017 20:23

Make sure your tree is watered to cut down the risk of fires starting. It makes a huge difference (if you've ever tried to burn living wood you'll know what I mean).
Obviously that only applies to real trees! I would hope artificial trees have to be fire-proof, but I have no idea!

LanaKanesLeftNippleTassle · 12/12/2017 20:24

I am the worst kind of risk taker...I ride motorbikes/BMX...do all kinds of things, but it'd be a cold day in hell before I left fairy lights on.

Nope x 1000.

It's not worth the risk to an entire household.

LittleMe03 · 12/12/2017 20:25

YANBU - I too really worry about these things. Check kitchen, lights, candles, electricals etc before I go to bed and luckily I leave last in the mornings so I can check everything. I stay away an odd night for work and I always text me DP asking him to check all these things, he tells me he is not a child but has been known to leave things on!

SomedayMyPrinceWillCome · 12/12/2017 20:27

We've bought new Christmas tree lights this year which can be switched on & off (and programmed to flash differently) from my phone

Etymology23 · 12/12/2017 20:30

Adding to the chorus of people who know someone whose house has been on fire due to fairy lights! Gutted the whole of the downstairs of my neighbour's house! I would almost never leave them on but don't go back if I forget but feel I ought to!

TroelsLovesSquinkies · 12/12/2017 20:34

OMG I'm living life on the edge. Who knew not me apparently
We have a fake tree and LED lights, turned them on on Saturday and haven't been off since.
Now I won't sleep unless they are all switched off at night.

Sallylondon · 12/12/2017 20:36

I do leave mine on, not overnight but from 7am, until we go to bed around 11pm. They are LED lights though; I wouldn’t leave incandescent ones alight in an unoccupied home.
My reasoning? The tree is in the bay window and I feel that an unlit tree is basically a big sign to burglars saying “Hellooo - no one home here - come and help yourself to whatever you want”.

Cindie943811A · 12/12/2017 20:49

We use battery powered LED lights. They use very little power so usually last the season, though we discard them then so they don’t damage the battery holders after they are put away in the attic.Much the safest option if you fail to turn them off. Many come with timers nowadays, too.
Fairy lights are probably no more dangerous than other electrical stuff but when there is a fire it’s much more memorable and fatalities etc near Christmas always seem more tragic. Which? Is very concerned about the poor safety record of household appliances. So switching off everything not under supervision is the wisest course.

scottishdiem · 12/12/2017 22:21

Depends on the quality of the lights to be honest. If you bought cheap shite, why would the cheap shite only go up in flames when you are not there. If you were there are you skilled fire fighters? If you were you'd know better than to buy cheap shite lights.

If you leave your fridge on and your lights are proper ones there is no difference in risk.

JustAnIdiot · 12/12/2017 22:50

I must admit, I never leave tree lights on while I'm out, or overnight, because of fire risk, even though I have those cool LED ones now.

Danish BIL has actual lit candles on his real Christmas tree, in little clip-on holders - so beautiful & festive but, er...

On the other end of the scale sit English PILs who have never had any lights at all on their tree, in case it catches fire & spend Christmas time at other people's houses switching off lights as soon as anyone leaves the room. They freak out about BIL's tree (he's their ex-SIL)

They also switch off the boiler before they go out, in case it blows up. If we're there & all go out for lunch, they go in separate cars so one can nip back & put the heating on before we all get back.

Quite frankly, if the boiler is going to blow up, I'd rather it did it while I was out.

thisisanicefish · 12/12/2017 22:57

Very very true @JustAnIdiot

Iamagreyhoundhearmeroar · 12/12/2017 23:01

All you people thinking it's normal to leave them on when you go out . Have a word with your local Fire Station, they'll tell you exactly why it's not recommended.

scottishdiem · 13/12/2017 00:13

"All you people thinking it's normal to leave them on when you go out..."

Why do Xmas lights only catch fire when people are out? I get that you might smell burning but you'd still need to act very fast to put it out.

Iamagreyhoundhearmeroar · 13/12/2017 12:03

If you're actually there to raise the alarm there'll be far less damage done?

KanyeWesticle · 13/12/2017 12:33

Everyone reading this please water your trees. It makes such a difference.

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