To invite neighbours over for Xmas drinks?

[ShowMePotatoSalad]

Our NDNs moved in about 8 months ago. We exchange pleasantries but we've never become closer than that They seem like such lovely people and I want to get to know them more and become friends, but have always felt silly at the prospect of inviting them over for no reason. I'm a bit socially awkward at times and I know I could make more effort and WANT to make more effort with people.

Would it be weird to invite them to come over one evening in the week leading up to Xmas, for drinks and mince pies? Or would it be too 'out of the blue'?

Hand them a christmas card as you say it, maybe?

That would be less out of the blue IYSWIM.

You can absolutely ask! They can easily decline if they don’t wish too.

Any other neighbours you could invite too? Might make it a little less "intense" for both of you.

Write them a Xmas card and say pop in for a mince pie and a drink anytime

When we moved into our new home our neighbours invited us over for coffee and bacon rolls one Sunday morning. It was a nice thing to do and only an hour or so to “get to know each other” before committing to a whole evening!

Why don’t you ask them over for mince pies either one evening or for a time during the day if they are off of the Christmas holidays?

How lovely. It's the kind of thing I always promise myself to do whenever we move but then I don't have the courage for it.

Inviting other neighbours..I would love to. There are quite a few people we could invite from down our road. BUt some of them don't get on with each other so it might get a bit messy and I'd have to handle it sensitively which as a socially inept buffoon might not work so well... But at the same time it might be weird to just invite one couple over?

I also think it's a lovely idea. And if they say 'no' it's probably because they're busy (it is a busy time of year).

The trouble with Whisky's suggestion is it's quite vague, and they're likely NOT to come (or else turn up at an inconvenient time.

I like the idea of inviting other neighbours too (if you like them as well, of course). Could you put "please pop over for a drink and a mince pie on xxx".

LadywithLapDog I lack so much courage and confidence and it's something I really want to change. We had an opportunity to make friends with an absolutely lovely couple and I didn't make the effort like I should have. I'm thinking Christmas may be the opportunity to change that. They are social people and have friends stay over regularly so I know they're not hermits or anything. I think I might be afraid of rejection.

sorry x-post!

It’s a lovely idea, and the perfect time to break the ice. We were invited for drinks by our (then new) NDNs and now see them 2-3 times a month for drinks. We really appreciate having great neighbours, knowing there are some horrors out there. (From experience, and from MN threads.)

Eeeek I'm going to do it! The worse they can say is no and they're so lovely I'm sure they wouldn't laugh in our faces or anything

It's a great way to break the ice! We're a Forces family and Christmas/New Year drinks is the norm for us. Getting all the people you've not had the chance to meet together in one place is fab. Do it!

And I'd invite everyone, those who don't get along just won't come or if they do they probably think it's time to bury the hatchet!

We did it last year, asked 4 couples...they all produced excuses but I'd felt I made an effort to invite the new people to the street!

Of course it’s not weird, it’s a perfectly normal thing to do.

Of course it's the acceptable thing to do - we moved house the weekend before some 'Royal' event and a street party was already planned, we were included & for some reason the party moved to our garage when it rained . We frequently host drinks parties for our neighbours (& some ask us for drinks but I appreciate not everyone likes hosting).

It's a nice thing to do. We've got two neighbours drinks parties to go to, and we're hosting our own drinks & nibbles things for immediate neighbours. There will be 18 of us I think at ours. You can't really go wrong, people appreciate the effort.

This is a classic British problem :-D

God I need to sort myself out. It seems so easy for some but I'm a complete wuss. I'm not trying to make excuses as I really want to do it, just need to break the ice.

Nobody minds an invitation. People like being asked for drinks. Be brave invite them.

We always have a few couples round on Christmas Eve and then kick them out and go to our almost neighbours for a final glass! Do it op!

If I hear a knock On My front door from someone inviting me round for a mince pie and mulled wine be I would absolutely come! Hope your my neighbour op!

Your replies have filled me with hope! I'm definitely doing it now.

Going against the grain here.

It's really nice of you, but I think if it was me, I would say no.

I have family, (close and extended,) who I socialise with a few times a year, and also work colleagues who I go out with every 3-4 months, and also 3 good friends who I have known since childhood, who I go out with for a night out about once a month. Then me and DH go out in between. So I don't need any more friends or people in my life to 'do stuff' with. So I wouldn't want to muddy the waters by accepting a neighbour invitation, not even at Christmas. (I am sure someone will slag me off for saying that, and call me a miserable cow, but I am entitled to feel this way.)

My neighbours are pleasant, and we chat over the fence for 10 minutes once or twice a week during summer, and clear and salt each others drives in the snow and ice, and would be there in a emergency. But that is where it ends. I have no wish to socialise with them.

One couple asked me and DH around about 5 years ago, about 6 months after we moved in, and although they were pleasant, we felt quite awkward and stuck for what to say. We stayed an hour an a half and then left. We never asked them in return, and they never asked us again.

We still got on ok, and I think after that one time, they realised we felt a bit uneasy in someone else's house. They actually moved house 2 years after we moved in, after he got a job in Canada!

I also feel very uneasy when people are around mine - unless it's family or one of my 3 BFFs.

I think a lot of people feel the same. People who do feel like this get bashed to fuckery on here though by the people who invite the world and his husband around, and also tend to pop in uninvited to people homes whenever they like, and get sniffy when people don't welcome them with open arms.

Upshot is, invite them by all means, but don't be offended if they don't say yes. Some people simply don't like socialising with neighbours.

Moreover, virtually ALL neighbour disputes are between neighbours who were good friends before. It's rarely between neighbours who have had very little to do with one another. So I think this is the reason why many people don't like to socialise with neighbours...